Worried about Husband's Behaviour

[anonymous]

Brothers and sisters, I am in need of advice. Yesterday, I was browsing on the internet and I realised that my husband has been watching porn.

I confronted him and asked why? Is it because you are not satisfied with me? Is it because I am not attractive to you?
He denied both these reasons and said he loves me very much. He didn't give me a reason or an explanation why he carried out that sort of disgusting behaviour. I was so upset last night, I couldn't stop crying.

Now my husband has just come to the UK a couple of months ago and he has not managed to find any work. Is he doing this because he is bored? Is it because he's messed up?

Someone please advise me. I want him to stop doing this. For the time being I have set Parental Control but he might get into that also. I don't want to have to block him to make him stop doing this. I want him to stop it of his own free will.

Please advise

[Cabdullahi]

Brothers and sisters, I am in need of advice. Yesterday, I was browsing on the internet and I realised that my husband has been watching porn.

I confronted him and asked why? Is it because you are not satisfied with me? Is it because I am not attractive to you?
He denied both these reasons and said he loves me very much. He didn't give me a reason or an explanation why he carried out that sort of disgusting behaviour. I was so upset last night, I couldn't stop crying.

Now my husband has just come to the UK a couple of months ago and he has not managed to find any work. Is he doing this because he is bored? Is it because he's messed up?

Someone please advise me. I want him to stop doing this. For the time being I have set Parental Control but he might get into that also. I don't want to have to block him to make him stop doing this. I want him to stop it of his own free will.

Please advise

He is stuck in an addiction.....he doesn't watch porn because he doesn't find you attractive enough...he does it because it has become a coping mechanism for him...you said he was not able to find work, it could be that he is stressed and is feeling down, so to cope with this he has taught his brain that porn alone will bring the much needed relief and now his brain is hardwired that way.

stress + feeling down = porn

You as his wife must act calm even though its hard...you must tell him that there are other avenues he can explore to cope with stress....tell him to start gym....do with him the things that he likes

The aim is to suffocate this addiction...to suffocate porn in his brain until it cannot breathe and dies....to do this he must get involved in other activities...he must rewire his brain to its original state
whenever an urge hits he must tell you...so that both of you can work together to kill the addiction

stress + feeling down > gym/spending time together/playing games/walking/listening to quran/having a nice meal

Your husband is not a perv nor his he a mad man.....porn is a poison that was put on the internet and he stumbled upon it and in order for you to get your old husband back you need to work with him and not blame him or more importantly yourself!