I can definitely say that I am not the same person that I was a year ago. I am much more self-aware now than I ever was. I'm not where I want to be, but I think that I know more or less where I want to be, and I am trying to get to that stage. I have to learn to love myself, and that is the hardest thing for me to do.
There's a lot that I don't agree with in terms of faith, but I figure that as long as I do the right things and say the right things for the right reasons, then that's all that matters. How I get there is of no matter, as long as I get there.
I can definitely say that I am not the same person that I was a year ago. I am much more self-aware now than I ever was. I'm not where I want to be, but I think that I know more or less where I want to be, and I am trying to get to that stage. I have to learn to love myself, and that is the hardest thing for me to do.
There's a lot that I don't agree with in terms of faith, but I figure that as long as I do the right things and say the right things for the right reasons, then that's all that matters. How I get there is of no matter, as long as I get there.
But first, I have to love myself.
Ah, brother King of Nines. I see you're angry. Angry white guy? Angry with yourself?
Or angry with life? People?
It is pointless to watch other people's houses crumbling when our own house is in need of repair and attention.
None of the options to vote would explain my life...life is like a rollercoaster, sometimes it goes up and works in your favour and sometimes it hits rock bottom but it's a the qadr of Allah so I say Alhumdulilah for everything Allah has granted me and for everything He hasn't put in my path.
I'm always going to make mistakes..... but making those mistakes has made me what I am today.
I started off as a very shy young girl until a remark made by my fourth grade teacher made me come out of my shell. She said to my parents, "Your daughter is very shy."
I overheard that. And I became quite daring afterwards. Even rebellious. lol.
I still got the same attitude. Got into trouble and massive heart pain.... you know, the kind of pain you suffer from after making mistakes..
It's called remorse. And I can tell you straight that this stuff is very very very painful stuff. It is akin to a fire that burns you even worse than a real fire burns you.
Yet, that kind of fire than burns you from deep within has a cleansing effect. Alhamdulillahir rabbil al ameen!
I think it was Ali ibn Abu Talib who said this: "It is better to refrain than to repent."
LOL. That is really true. Because that repentance thing is really really painful and hard to endure.
So.... learning self-restraint is definitely better. I understand. Still.... I dare to continue making mistakes. I dare ..... because that is one of the best ways to learn the best lessons in life.
Making mistakes.... they are what keeps me on the right track....
Ironic, isn't it?
It is pointless to watch other people's houses crumbling when our own house is in need of repair and attention.
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
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