If your marriage is secret... and you have intimate relations together... how would people know that your relationship is legitimate? What if you have a child together... what would be the status of this child in your society's eyes? Would you or your child have the protections that a legally recognized marriage would have if he left you?
Socially, would people consider you to be married, or would they think you are committing a sin? Would you have to sneak around in order to see one another?
Do you think your secret husband would respect you? Do you think that the reluctant relatives mentioned would respect you better if you married secretly?
On another thread, you mentioned a child from a previous marriage. How might a secret marriage affect this child? How might the child's father perceive this?
(gently) I do understand that you are probably lonely, and you are looking for some support... but please realize that this relationship might cause you more trouble in the longer run. Please take your time to think about the questions I asked.
Is a secret nikkah allowed? If couple are divorced and parents dont agree just now but will do later..can the couple do nikkah to please Allah swt?
Ā'isha said, The Messenger of Allāh, peace and blessings of Allāh be on him, said: Make the marriage publicly known, and perform it in mosques, and beat at it with duff.
I understand but it is permissable to do nikkah without anyone knowing but us and Allah. We dont want to meet without it being halal. We know we are right for one another via istikhara etc. We are praying my parents will accept one day but for now we dont want to do anything haram. So i would rather do nikkah than meet as gf and bf. Hope that makes sense. In terms of respecting him and his family have accepted me its just my folks.
I understand but it is permissable to do nikkah without anyone knowing but us and Allah. We dont want to meet without it being halal. We know we are right for one another via istikhara etc. We are praying my parents will accept one day but for now we dont want to do anything haram. So i would rather do nikkah than meet as gf and bf. Hope that makes sense. In terms of respecting him and his family have accepted me its just my folks.
For marriage to be valid, it is stipulated that the wali (guardian) of the woman be present, and it is not permissible for the woman to do the marriage contract for herself, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no (valid) marriage except with a wali.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2085; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 1839. And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) also said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her wali, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” Narrated by Ahmad, 24417; Abu Dawood, 2083; at-Tirmidhi, 1102; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
One of the conditions of the marriage contract being valid is that it should be done by the wali (guardian), whether the woman is a virgin or previously married, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no (valid) marriage except with a wali.” End quote.
If the father does not agree to this marriage without valid reasons, then guardianship passes to the next closest of her guardians, such as her brother, then her paternal uncle. If all of them refuse, the head of the Islamic Centre in her city can give her in marriage; if that is not applicable, then the imam of the Jaami‘ mosque may do that.
The majority of scholars are of the view that the marriage contract is not valid except in the presence of two witnesses to the marriage contract, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no (valid) marriage except in the presence of the wali and two witnesses of good character.” Narrated by al-Bayhaqi, 14086; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘, 13515.
Some of the scholars stipulated that the marriage must be announced publicly in order for it to be valid. According to these scholars, the announcement must come before consummation of the marriage. Telling two men about it does not constitute a public announcement.
https://islamqa.info/en/159297
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