proposal

[AnonymousPoster]

I justa want some advice had amarriage proposal yestaday. The guy was actuali marrid 2 a cousin before but didnt work out for many reasons. Im worried what they might think if we say yes. but what should i look at before giving a answer? can i do istikhara? im scared.

[S_87]

try and find out his character and akhlaaq. there is nothing wrong with you marrying him, but there may be ill feelings with regards to your family. if youre close to ur cousin maybe you can talk to her?

this is something that although is not wrong its upto the person. do you mind that he was married to a cousin?
if not then find out how he is. ask people about him. place your trust in Allah and pray istikhara. whatever is planned for you will happen then inshaAllah

[Cabdullahi]

there is nothing to be scared of,if u want to know about his character then talk to his sisters im sure theyll help u and do istikhara aswell

[IbnAbdulHakim]

do istikhara inshaAllaah, and marry mostly for piety, the others are important but without piety the others arent worth it !

Assalamu Alaikum

[------]

With Istikhara sister, you can NEVER go wrong.

Check it out here:

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...-guidance.html

[Ummu Sufyaan]

I justa want some advice had amarriage proposal yestaday. The guy was actuali marrid 2 a cousin before but didnt work out for many reasons. Im worried what they might think if we say yes. but what should i look at before giving a answer? can i do istikhara? im scared.

why is that worrying? i mean, if they asked, that pretty much says that they already agree with you, yeah

but what should i look at before giving a answer?

i think that depnds on what your're looking for in a husband. only you can answer that. :sunny: but yeah, as suggessted before, manner, piety would be the go.
I would also find out the reason for the divorce. not to sound disrspectful or anything, but they reason for the divorce could mean a 'deficiency' in him. get where im coming from. :sunny:

[Cabdullahi]

:rolleyes:

why is that worrying? i mean, if they asked, that pretty much says that they already agree with you, yeah


i think that depnds on what your're looking for in a husband. only you can answer that. :sunny: but yeah, as suggessted before, manner, piety would be the go.
I would also find out the reason for the divorce. not to sound disrspectful or anything, but they reason for the divorce could mean a 'deficiency' in him. get where im coming from. :sunny:

"Deficiency in him" :rolleyes:
no1 is perfect every1 is lacking in something not just men women too but it just shows how demanding women are

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I think after marriage, both men and women have to change and make sacrifices to adapt to the marriage life.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:rolleyes:

"Deficiency in him" :rolleyes:
no1 is perfect every1 is lacking in something not just men women too but it just shows how demanding women are

do you even know what i meant by that i thought maybe he could be a wife beater, for eg. or somewhere along those lines! of course no ones perfect. what do u think i am? stupid or something. :mad:

just shows how demanding women are

oh, here we go again! demading huh? right, so i reckon if you were to right a list of what you wanted in a wife, it'll be as long as your arm!
demanding. pffftttt

[Cabdullahi]

I think after marriage, both men and women have to change and make sacrifices to adapt to the marriage life.

Exactly but the way she said deficiency is she trying to say as if hes dumb or a fool i dont know??

my list would consist of about 10 things and would be be fairly short compared to some women who have a rolling list every year

[Ummu Sufyaan]

i didnt even mean thatffended: it didnt even cross my mind!
maybe you should reread my above post. you know, like this bit:

i thought maybe he could be a wife beater, for eg. or somewhere along those lines!

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Anyway, lets avoid gender topics, and stay on THIS thread topic. If you don't have anything else to say to the thread starter then please don't post unnecessarily. Jazaak Allaah.

[Cabdullahi]

i didnt even mean thatffended: it didnt even cross my mind!
maybe you should reread my above post.

Ok sister but u have to accept that both the man and woman have to strive to be better if the man was so called Deficient and he was unloyal or whateva then he would change for the good and if the wife is "world class nagger" then she should change so that the marriage would work all im saying is both parties should to work to get along with each other

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^Agreed. Now back on topic! Jazaak Allaah

[Ummu Sufyaan]

and if the wife is "world class nagger"

you're just trying to make me angry, arent you?
and just for the record, i hate naggy women too.

Now back on topic!

will, do sis