this guy yeh he's quite practising, his family are not, he's close to his lil brova yeh but his brova doesn't pray.so wat he does is bribes him and tells him that if he prays his salah (on tim) then he will buy him a psp thing.he does this for the amount of days his brova askd him to. so coz he made a promise he bought it for him.after dat his brova stopped praying.did he make the wrong decision?wat can he do now?anything from the quran and sunnah will be helpfull
also he has a sister whos not practising who says things like 'id ratha die than pray' and stuff like dat.wat can he advice her?anythin dat she will lisen to, dat might make her think twice.she wont realy read hadith or ayahs
Sister - You have to instill the fear of hell and the desire of Paradise in her first, that is when her Imaan will start buildin up. Try giving her a nice book/lecture about Paradise and when her heart is attached to it, then give her something about hell, etc. Only then, when her Imaan builds up, she will want to enter paradise, and she will want to do what it takes to enter it and wants to avoid hell and will do what it takes to avoid it - hence, comes in prayer.
There are Islamic children's books available for all ages. I used them to help my son understand Islam and it's teachings. He is ten and alhumdulillah now prays salah.
Simply telling a child to pray if they don't know anything about deen is impractical. They need to know why they should pray. They need to be taught about who Allah is and about the blessings He has given us. Point out the things Allah created and how they benefit mankind. For example, tell them about rain and how crops wouldn't grow without it and we'd have nothing to eat. Expand their minds so they start thinking for themselves.
Use simple examples so's not to overwhelm the child. Always point out the Mercy and Kindness of Allah. They need to be taught to love Allah first. Do not frighten them by saying that Allah will throw them into Hell and stuff like that. That can make the child think Allah (naudhu billah) is unkind and that will have the opposite effect.
Once they become aware of Allah, His creation and blessings, start deepening their knowledge. Tell them that Allah wants us to go to Jannah. Explain what Jannah is and what it contains. Tell them that Allah promised that we can have anything we wish for in Jannah. Let them feel your desire and excitement of wanting Jannah. I used to and still keep saying infront of my son that I can't wait to go to Jannah as it'll be so beautiful and there will be this and this and this etc..... Alhumdulillah, now he desires it too. Point out the rivers of milk, honey, the fruits, the roasted birds, lasting youth, beauty, no fatigue, no illness/pain and eternal life. Remember, you can only get out of something what we put into it.
Once they start loving Allah, take them to the next level. Don't make salah sound like a burden. Say that it's amazing that despite everything Allah has given us, all He wants us to pray only five times a day. Say that's because Allah is merciful, otherwise He could've told us to pray 50 times a day - Yet He didn't, but still will give us the reward for 50 prayers. Say, "Whao imagine we had to pray 50 x a day!" Be a bit dramatic and looked relieved.
Once they've taken in all that, begin telling them that it is a sin to not pray. And that we must earn points to get in Jannah. Tell them life is like a game. You gotta earn the highest points to win a game and it's the same with life. Keep it simple. Next tell them how to increase the points by doing other good deeds. Tell them that by not praying and doing bad deeds we lose points. You have to think from a child's point of view when dealing with children.
Almost finally, be patient. Read them Islamic stories and keep repeating the benefits of being a good muslim. I honestly don't believe in using fear to get a child to pray. Leave the punishments until after they have began to want to please and love Allah for being Kind and Merciful and it won't affect them in a negative way.
Lastly be a good example yourself. When doing a them a favour, or a good deed, remind them that Allah will reward you for it. Similarly, when making a mistake, say, "I was wrong to do that, may Allah forgive me." Sometimes adults think it's above them to apologise to a child. How can children learn humility if they don't witness it? If I am cranky and lose my temper with my son. I apologise immediately and ask him to forgive me. As a result when he's being naughty and he can see I'm not pleased, he will apologise to me.
It's the small things that make the biggest impact. Standing there with a loudspeaker giving orders is futile. It's the gentle rain that feeds the crops - floods only destroy them.
ok, alhumdulillah. May I ask how old the young bro is? Also could it be that the company he keeps is not helping. And also, I apologize for my ignorance but exactly what is taught in a madrasa? Isn't it just how to read Quran and salah?
^ Tell him that put if I put a match to your fingers, will it not hurt?! Ur going to scream aren't you?! If you miss one prayer intentionally, then you will be in hell for approxiametely 2 billion years (got this from an Anwar Al Awlaki lecture) and whats more, the fire of hell is 70x more than the fire of this world.
My strategy - if nice-ness doesnt work, instill fear in them...
Personally, I think influencing a child by Allah's love and mercy are far more effective than using fear and threats. I didn't use such tactics with my son. And I can't thank Allah enough that the methods I used were effective and resulted in success. Being a good role model is more important than scaring a child. I often recite Quran after Asr and/or Maghrib so that my son can witness it. Sometimes, I tell him to read, sometimes I don't. And when I don't, sometimes, he will bring his Quran and start to read it. Sometimes he just wants to play his games and I let him. The main thing is that he frequently does do it by himself. I don't think he'd do it or enjoy doing it if I tell him that Allah will throw him into Hell if he doesn't. Rather I say that this is how much reward we get for reciting just one letter and that Allah gave us the Quran to understand.
Yesterday, I was checking my son's uniform trousers' before sticking them in the washing machine and I found a tiny piece of paper folded up tightly. I opened it and saw that he had written the words, 'I believe in Allah the most'. I was confused. It looked like he had attempted to make a taweez So I called him and asked him about it. He told me that his teacher had asked them to write what they believe in the most. And that was what he'd written. SubhanAllah, subhanAllah. I couldn't stop kissing his face, I was so happy. I doubt he would've felt that way if I'd created fear in him rather than love for Allah.
Teaching children to fear Allah and to be aware of His punishments should come after they know His mercy and blessings and Love. And that takes time. If my son is happily praying salah and reading Quran today, it's the result of years of preparation. I don't see how telling a child that Allah is Kind and Merciful one day and that He will throw you into Hell the next day can be productive. It's kind of confusing for a child if you ask me.
hmm yeahh that is quite a scenario! may I ask how old the youngster are? the young bro and sis?
If they are still young children, perhaps you can spawn an interest by telling them stories of the prophets and the lives of the followers of Allah, I find that kids are more inclined to listen if their imaginations are stimulated and spark off interest. This is why perhaps it would be suitable to tell them of the journeys and stories of people within the Koran, and their submission to God and the outcomes.
I personally think inducing fear within kids to get them to beleive may 'force' them to pray out of fear rather than out of interest.. but if you feel you might need to take the measure to telling them 'if you dont pray you'll go to hell' thenn do whats best in your eyes
How about trying to start a conversation with him and ask him (without condemning him for his opinion) why he doesn't pray and then try to reason in a respectful, logically convincing way? Forcing prayer can result in a person having an aversion against it. So reasoning with him seems a lot more productive.
Also the person should accept that he cannot change his brother over night. Getting someone to pray is a long term assignment. He should focus on many things. How strong is this brother's faith? Does he have unanswered questions that make him doubt his faith? Does he have doubts whether prayer is genuinly mandatory for muslims? Did that madrassa he went to only taught him about punishment and sin, or did they also teach him the beauty, harmony and peace of Islam. Getting someone to pray is not like teaching a monkey some tricks, it's about helping the person believe in it.
Last edited by Abdul Fattah; 05-08-2008 at 11:49 AM.
thanks -brok3n-.Muslima _sis the brova has been to madresah he knows about all dis but chooses not to pray.dats why its diffixcult
Ask him if he still thinks he's a muslim? then remind him those who do not pray salaah have left islam and are kuffar. Then recite some hadith as prove and advise him how salah is the 2nd most important pillar after the sahada.
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jazakallah khair sister is in her 20s = bro is 15sumthing
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