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Friends problems

  1. #1
    Lonely Gal's Avatar Full Member
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    Friends problems

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    My best mate is going through a very tough time with her husband, he chose her and they got married, their related so she dint say no him cos she was OK with it.. However he don't keep her happy, doesn't take her out anywhere, if they make plans he cancels and is always tinkin abt his friends. They been married few months and she aint even been to the local shops with him. he is a very boring guy and those tantrums like a baby on a daily basis over the smallest things..
    I hate listenin to me mate feel so down and hurt, just want her to be happy, What can I do to help?
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    AvarAllahNoor's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Friends problems

    Hmmm, has she spoken to him about it? that may help. If she has and he's not bothered, well then she may need to re-think things through. All though divorce on the grounds 'He's not taken her to the local shops' won't stand up in court. lol
    Friends problems

    Ėk Gusā Alhu Mėrā
    The One Lord, the Lord of the World, is my God Allah.

    Dhan Guru Arjan Dev Mahraaj Ji!

    Kal Meh Bėḏ Atharbaṇ Hū Nā Kẖuḏā Alhu Bẖa.
    In the Dark Age of Kali Yuga, the Atharva Veda became prominent; Allah became the Name of God.

    Dhan Guru Nanak Dev Mahraaj Ji!
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    Re: Friends problems



    Why did she marry him?
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    Re: Friends problems

    First, have her talk to him about it, if she hasn't already. He probably doesn't even know she feels this way, men tend to be quite clueless a lot of the time.
    If that doesn't work, have a male friend of his that you or your friend know talk to him.
    Just tell him how she feels, what she wants, that sort of thing. Let him know she's not happy this way..
    Friends problems

    alhamdullilah.
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    Lonely Gal's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Friends problems

    lol i know shops aint anything big but he dont bother with her at all..
    he moans abt everything and jus tinks abt food and friends, not keepin her happy.

    many times she has sed u dnt keep me happy, i aint happy at all, we shud do things, be a husband and wife but it dnt feel like it..
    she married him cos there was no other good ristha for her and wen he asked to marry her she cud not say no as he is from the family..
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    AvarAllahNoor's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Friends problems

    format_quote Originally Posted by Lonely Gal View Post
    lol i know shops aint anything big but he dont bother with her at all..
    he moans abt everything and jus tinks abt food and friends, not keepin her happy.

    many times she has sed u dnt keep me happy, i aint happy at all, we shud do things, be a husband and wife but it dnt feel like it..
    she married him cos there was no other good ristha for her and wen he asked to marry her she cud not say no as he is from the family..
    Get her to ask a family elder to talk to him. Men talking to men, can at times make things clearer.

    Tell her to arrange a day out with him, and then see how he responds to that. It does take two to tango, so she should try something, and see what the result is.
    Friends problems

    Ėk Gusā Alhu Mėrā
    The One Lord, the Lord of the World, is my God Allah.

    Dhan Guru Arjan Dev Mahraaj Ji!

    Kal Meh Bėḏ Atharbaṇ Hū Nā Kẖuḏā Alhu Bẖa.
    In the Dark Age of Kali Yuga, the Atharva Veda became prominent; Allah became the Name of God.

    Dhan Guru Nanak Dev Mahraaj Ji!
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    Lonely Gal's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Friends problems

    for someone who chose the person they wana marry, he shud be payin her more attention and treatn her as a wife.. as far as shes concerned shes jus there to cook and clean for him, as he bothers in no other way. Their both from UK so u'd thing they both would understand wat is required from both husband and wife.. and even more so when you have selected the partner.
    she can be an angry person but has controlled herself alot but he still goes crazy when he cant find his clothes, throwing a tantrum. This she would not mind if he was bothering with her, she has had enough but cant turn to anyone cos with typical family they will say well at least he aint hittin u, or keep at it and try, not thinkin she is very unhappy..
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    Re: Friends problems

    someone needs to make him understand that he needs to be a husband, not a master


    find that someone inshaAllaah
    Friends problems

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    My tears testify that i have a heart
    yet i feel me and shaytan never part
    -
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    Lonely Gal's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Friends problems

    she goes lets go for walk.. he goes go with ur sisters.. she goes i wana go with u... he goes naa not now, a little while later hes off to see his friends...
    they decided to go out but he doesnt mention it wen the day comes.. they were supposed to go yday but he sed we'l go today, and today he sayin shall we go nex week...
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    Re: Friends problems

    Hmmm. Well them tell her to talk to him kindly, if he's not concerned then be stern! Tell him she's going on strike and he'll soon change his ways trust me. Men panic when they can't cook or clean!
    Friends problems

    Ėk Gusā Alhu Mėrā
    The One Lord, the Lord of the World, is my God Allah.

    Dhan Guru Arjan Dev Mahraaj Ji!

    Kal Meh Bėḏ Atharbaṇ Hū Nā Kẖuḏā Alhu Bẖa.
    In the Dark Age of Kali Yuga, the Atharva Veda became prominent; Allah became the Name of God.

    Dhan Guru Nanak Dev Mahraaj Ji!
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    Re: Friends problems

    not that easy,, they live with his mother and father, so good old mother in law will be happy to run around after him.. and then she looks bad in her mother in laws eyes....
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    IbnAbdulHakim's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Friends problems

    ^ lollll

    sis i dnt understand why this happened to be honest

    dont he like her?

    dont men like spending time with their wives?

    my bro tries spending as many seconds in the day as he can wiv his wife... and he wiv her.. that goes for my cousins etc.


    whats wrong with this guy? dont he want her?


    like i said before sis, find that someone who can talk 2 him... he needs to sort it out
    Friends problems

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    My tears testify that i have a heart
    yet i feel me and shaytan never part
    -
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    Re: Friends problems

    format_quote Originally Posted by Lonely Gal View Post
    not that easy,, they live with his mother and father, so good old mother in law will be happy to run around after him.. and then she looks bad in her mother in laws eyes....
    Sas is always thinking her son's wife isn't good enough! Is she getting on well with her? if so tell her to tell him. Unless she's encouraging him like evil sas do!
    Friends problems

    Ėk Gusā Alhu Mėrā
    The One Lord, the Lord of the World, is my God Allah.

    Dhan Guru Arjan Dev Mahraaj Ji!

    Kal Meh Bėḏ Atharbaṇ Hū Nā Kẖuḏā Alhu Bẖa.
    In the Dark Age of Kali Yuga, the Atharva Veda became prominent; Allah became the Name of God.

    Dhan Guru Nanak Dev Mahraaj Ji!
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    Lonely Gal's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Friends problems

    he CHOSE her!!!
    dunno what the problem is...
    he thinks everything is fine and she keeps sayin i aint happy, they havemore convo in txt than they do livin in the same house..
    her mother in law is OK.. she understand hes a bit mad .. but my mate cnt say much to her abt the way he is being.. she is livin in her house and its her son
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    Re: Friends problems

    I think the problem with his is that he still thinks he's a bachelor. From what you described, he doesn't seem to understand that he has a wife now, who needs to spend time with him, that he can't come and go as he please all the time.
    Friends problems

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    Re: Friends problems

    'He's a bit mad' Lord, hence him wanting to marry her and be his slave and tolerate his behaviour. He's behaving like he's still single! He needs a good thappar (slap) that'll get rid of his madness!!
    Friends problems

    Ėk Gusā Alhu Mėrā
    The One Lord, the Lord of the World, is my God Allah.

    Dhan Guru Arjan Dev Mahraaj Ji!

    Kal Meh Bėḏ Atharbaṇ Hū Nā Kẖuḏā Alhu Bẖa.
    In the Dark Age of Kali Yuga, the Atharva Veda became prominent; Allah became the Name of God.

    Dhan Guru Nanak Dev Mahraaj Ji!
    chat Quote

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    Lonely Gal's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Friends problems

    the frustratin thing is if he werent ready he shudnt av asked to marry her, and if so meet her needs and listen and act upon wat she says to him...
    he'd much rather be home watchin the footy..
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    Re: Friends problems

    ^ he sounds like a 5 yr old...


    this is such a silly problem, sis just get someone to talk to him! someone whos a big bro figure typa thing
    Friends problems

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    My tears testify that i have a heart
    yet i feel me and shaytan never part
    -
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    Re: Friends problems



    they havemore convo in txt than they do livin in the same house..
    WAT THE HEK!!!

    The guy needs to sort his priorities out!!! She deserves better than him by the sounds of it!!!
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    Lonely Gal's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Friends problems

    i no there aint much i can do.. jus sooo frustratin see me best mate like this...
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