I reverted to Islam a few months ago and since then I feel like my life is slipping out of my hands. My faith continues to grow when I'm alone but as soon as I come into contact with other Muslim brothers and sisters I get confused.
in some ways you should consider it a blessing that you weren't "born into Islam." when Allah[swt] guides you, you get to see Islam with clear eyes and you are not burdened with all the jahillya[ignorance], assibyah[cultural baggage - especially bid'ah] and/or bid'ah [innovations that are not, nor were ever a part of the religion.
I know I shouldn't confuse the people with the religion but I can't help but have these doubts. I feel I'm being judged constantly, instead of feeling blessed and guided by Allah (as I did until recently) I just hear all the born Muslims' voices ringing in my ears telling me I am doing it all wrong.
In Sha'a Allah, that will go away with time
When I pray I concentrate on things like what should touch the ground first, my knees or hands?
it's hands...
I'm sure that's not the point. Do this do that don't do this don't do that....all about things that seem quite minor to me, but it still makes me feel insecure and like maybe they are right, maybe I'm doing it all wrong and since I was never brought up with the religion I have little hope of ever learning to do it properly.
believe it or not, they ARE trying to help, they just have no idea what it sounds like to be on the receiving end of all their "advice!"
I have 2 Muslim friends who told me about Islam before I reverted. They have been very supportive until now, and maybe I'm just being paranoid but I feel like they are slowly turning against me too.
SOME Muslims get jealous with reverts because your "book" is clean and they are concerned about the state of theirs! make du'a for them.
Criticising my family for example, because they are not Muslims and do not behave like Muslims. It wasn't my choice to be born into a non-Muslim family and it is not my mother's or father's fault that they were not born into Muslim families either. I know in my heart that no one has the right to judge except Allah... but these kinds of comments hurt me so deeply, I can't help it.
it's OK to complain to Allah[swt] about these things as it WAS his choice for you "to be born into a non-Muslim family!"
The other thing is that I feel like I'm judged for my past and suddenly I'm so ashamed of it.
your slate[book] is clean and your past is NOBODY'S business!
I take every little question or comment to heart.
that's OK, i would point out to them that Allah[swt] is Maliki Yawmid Din[Master of the Day of Judgement] and NOT them!
I feel as if every Muslim I meet (born ones) is suspicious of how corrupt a past I have. I worry that I won't be able to marry... I've had a few boyfriends and am not a virgin, something I've heard a lot of Muslim men have issues with. I know that all my sins were forgiven by Allah when I became a Muslim... but they are definitely not forgiven by other Muslims.
you might want to find a revert like yourself! trust in Allah[swt]!
I feel so alone, especially with Ramadan coming up, and I know I'll have to go through it completely alone and I'm not sure how I'll cope. When I look to the future all I see is more loneliness and I can see it making me bitter. Seems like my actual conversion is causing more harm than good....
you get Ajr[reward] for all of the discomforts that you suffer, so what appears to be harm can actually be beneficial. it will take you some time to learn that. [or not, Allah[swt] knows best!]
My only hope is that I'll be rewarded in the hereafter, but on the other hand, the way things are going at the moment I don't feel like I'm getting any closer to God. I am certain that Islam is the right path and I pray for more strength to go on following it, and I'm grateful for Allah to have guided me...I just wish others around me were as happy about it as I was, and more tolerant. I just felt like I had to get this off my chest, but I hope someone can offer me some advice...I feel so lost
![Tears](https://www.islamicboard.com/images/smilies/custom/new/8MyrDBP.gif)
Bookmarks