I am not sure if this has been my nature since a kid or not, but i think I like that which i cannot get.
This time its not simple.
A girl whom i have known to excist for one and half year know. We have never spoken other than her once asking me about a trip which was organized by the college. I have never made eye contact with her, I can't even look at her when shes around. I know shes around because i can feel that my heart has missed a few beats, then i have to hit it for it beat normally agian...... yes i think i am in love .
I try my best to fight that butterfly effect feeling! The harder i try, the deeper i sink. Since I knew of this girls existence, I had seen her in my dream not less than 30 times. Even in my dreams I do not have the courage to say Salam, or to introduce my self in a suitable way.
I feel this is controlling me! Since she is a pakistani sister, from what i know they tend to marry only to pakistani brothers. I am far of from being a pakistani. So now i am clueless of what to do! I do not want to get her attention because that is bad, even if i did its not going anywhere! I can't forget it because It is not within my control. My last option is waiting to go to university in a different city and then that way i will have to forget.
If u have no advice for this situation then i can fully understand, because i don't know anyone who has however i just felt like telling this to u, in the hope of feeling slightly relieved.
subhanallah...firstly, i commend you for avoiding her!!! keep it up and dont try to approach her unless it is done through the proper channels (i.e her mahrams)
but i do think you should take it further, for sure...you never know. even if you get rejected, just try it! ask around about her. dont put yourself through this, when other legitimate options are available...i think its worth chasing up and seeing if you guys are suitable, maybe her family is different. you just don't know unless you try!
dont do anything without the knowledge of her mahrams. be serious, and fear allah in regards to yourself and her.
either way, keep it halaal and give it a go
Last edited by Ummu Sufyaan; 02-12-2009 at 09:17 AM.
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
Just to add, don't wait for too long, though, you may lose her to someone else if you do!
Yes indeed.
Just the same, brother, don't wait too long for this girl or be blinded by her as you might be missing out on someone better or someone whose heart skips beats for you.
"'Cause I hear the whispered words
In your masterpiece beautiful
You speak the unspeakable through
I love you too"
Just the same, brother, don't wait too long for this girl or be blinded by her as you might be missing out on someone better or someone whose heart skips beats for you.
Just the same, brother, don't wait too long for this girl or be blinded by her as you might be missing out on someone better or someone whose heart skips beats for you.
lool, thanks for the replies everyone
I am in fact 20, some say to young others say its perfect. I think its about a good age.
I am in fact 20, some say to young others say its perfect. I think its about a good age.
Well you aren't too young then. I don't know what you are like, but if suitable age was the only requirement to get married, then I'd suggest you get on up and speak to your parents about this pakistani sister.
If she rejects you, atleast the reality of it will allow you to move on.
"'Cause I hear the whispered words
In your masterpiece beautiful
You speak the unspeakable through
I love you too"
Feelings are physical reactions to thoughts that we have. When we control our thoughts, we control what we feel. Keep in mind that the feelings you are having for this young woman are really of your own making, because she does not have any "power" over you whatsoever. Only Allah has that kind of power over you. You have made a clear, conscious choice to feel this way about her, and it is within your capacity to change this feeling to something more manageable for you. If a future marriage is impossible, then you are stressing yourself and your heart in the wrong direction. Remember that love is choice we make, not a force that overcomes us. Ask Allah to help guide you through this. If you walk to Him, He will run to you.
Remember that love is choice we make, not a force that overcomes us.
not always...as long as you do what you can do to avoid it, then how is it a choice? the hearts are in the hands of Allah, the choice is up to us and whether or not we act upon those feelings
You have made a clear, conscious choice to feel this way about her, and it is within your capacity to change this feeling to something more manageable for you.
how so?
We have never spoken other than her once asking me about a trip which was organized by the college. I have never made eye contact with her, I can't even look at her when shes around. I know shes around because i can feel that my heart has missed a few beats, then i have to hit it for it beat normally agian...... yes i think i am in love .
I try my best to fight that butterfly effect feeling! The harder i try, the deeper i sink.
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
I am also paki so i knw what its like..my parents wudnt allow it for sure but actually nowadays a lot of paki families tend to be a little more lenient with that. I have some paki friends that are allowed to marry arabs or whatever they want. So you should try, even if u get rejected, at least you won't regret not trying later. :P
Feelings are physical reactions to thoughts that we have. When we control our thoughts, we control what we feel. Keep in mind that the feelings you are having for this young woman are really of your own making, because she does not have any "power" over you whatsoever. Only Allah has that kind of power over you. You have made a clear, conscious choice to feel this way about her, and it is within your capacity to change this feeling to something more manageable for you. If a future marriage is impossible, then you are stressing yourself and your heart in the wrong direction. Remember that love is choice we make, not a force that overcomes us. Ask Allah to help guide you through this. If you walk to Him, He will run to you.
Sorry, I don't think love is something we consciously make ourselves do.
I thought it was in a hadith, where the Prophet (SAW) was making duah of how he was trying to treat all his wives equally, but requesting the forgiveness of Allah for the matter out of his hands (i.e. his love for Aisha (RA)) Correct me if I'm wrong, I'll try and find the hadith insha'allah, bu seriously, one cannot control love. You can control your actions etc, but not always your emotions....
To the original poster, i hope all goes well for you insha'allah!
I agree with everyone else. Don't worry about her ethnicity. I'm pakistani and my mum wanted me to marry an arab bro she knew of. Bismillah go for it... : )
Look around maybe there is some out there whose heart skips a beat for you.
Firstly you should find out what type of girl she is? You have found the beauty from the outside now try to find the beauty from the inside
If i were the same situation. first thing that would matter to me is the beauty from the inside. And a girl that is covered up not reveiling her seld example she wears a scarfs. I would prefer a girls hair covered up rather that being lose.
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keep it up and dont try to approach her unless it is done through the proper channels (i.e her mahrams)
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