advice please

[AnonymousPoster]

i did my study and my husband was happy with that he was encouraging me to do so and i finished my master i was working as well we were living in a foreign country. And now that we back to our hometown he's not letting me get any job i tried with him a lot of times .now one of the company that my friend work with called me for an interview and i hided for the first time of my life something from my husband i told him i'm going to visit a friend and i want really to go to the appointment and if they give me the job i talk to his dad to interfere and try to help me. I'm so scared i need advice on wat i should do i'm a dynamique person that got a lot of things that i want to acheive i did study hard not to stay home but to work as well. I am able to look after my house as well as work because i was doing more than this when i was overseas. help me please

[alcurad]

talk to him and ask him why he doesn't allow you to work etc, and most importantly, be honest, hiding such things from him will only worsen the situation.

[AnonymousPoster]

i know going there will just worsen things if he find out . and about he's excuses not to work that i've done networking and all the people working in that field are generally mens in my country and that he doesnt want me to be surrounded of them. So this is my dillema i will never work if he keep thinking like that and i have to do something

[zanjabeela]

Sis, I take it you're in IT. Networking is, yes, an extremely male-dominated field...and that's in the US. So, I imagine there are some parts of the world that seeing a woman in networking would be totally rare. As such, I can understand your husband's discomfort. All woman are not the same, but if I were in your situation, I would weigh what I value more: career or personal life? If your personal life means more than your career, then try to find ways to practice your career in a way that would keep your personal life smooth. Maybe find another aspect of IT that is less male-dominated. Maybe try to find an IT job that you can do from the home. Maybe find a teaching job at a university. There are lots of options in IT whereby you can keep your career and keep your marriage smooth.

If your career in networking means a lot to you, and you're not able to be comfortable with another type of IT career, then you need to have a real heart-to-heart talk about it with your husband. Don't take the interview without his knowledge. He might end up feeling really hurt that you didn't even consult him. Making him angry/hurt over a job interview is not the best way that you could begin your job!

Wishing you peace in your decision....