As'salaamu alaikum brothers and sisters, I hope you can help me with my probelm in anyway insha allah. For little more than a year now i have been looking to get married, i have extensively searched and taken every avenue that i could think of or was suggested to find a husband, but it seems muslim men in this age they care more about a persons looks rather than their deen or character i say this because i have a disability the reason why iam constantly turned down this is making me really depressed alot i wish they would just get to know the person iam inside but they won't give me the time of day. I want to give up but like the tittle suggested my heart will not let me i have tried doing things to get it out of my mind like going back to school and that didn't work, seeing all the girls that i knew married with babies adds up to my hurt i know iam a good person inside and a practicing muslim alhamdulilah and iam not a bad looking woman either but its just not enough for them. How am i suppose to complete half of my deen when iam treated as though iam some alien from another planet due to my disability that i cannot do anything about. I wish they would see that iam a human being with feelings and has the same needs as everyone else. Please give me advice.
Allahumma Rahmataka arju fala takilni ila nafsi tarfata 'ainin, wa aslih li sha'ni kullahu, la ilaha illa Anta.
Oh Allah, i hope for your mercy. Do not tire me of me even for a moment. place all my affair in order. there is no God but you.(Abu dawud 4/324)
"Each riyal, dirham …etc. used to buy their goods eventually becomes bullets to be fired at the hearts of brothers and children in Palestine.. To buy their goods is to support tyranny, oppression and aggression." -Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi
My darling, why dont you try looking for someone who also has a disability, and will be more willing to accept you?, Im not going to sugar coat anything, but you should not look up to or accept anybody that doesnt accept you, and therefore someone with your problem will be more suited to you as a person? what do u think? Have u tried this?
My heart, so precious,
I won't trade for a hundred thousand souls.
Your one smile takes it for free.Rumi
im sorry to hear about this sister, Allah tests us all in different ways, just don't give up sis, theres someone out their for all of us, if the brothers don't give you attention then sis don't give them any, your no different from anyone else, anyone who thinks so isn't a muslim, everyones equal in this deen and don't let anyone make you think different, like the other sister said do dua and sabr sis sabr! inshallah it will pay off walahi it will. Another thing sis try and read on the lifes of the Prophets and read about the hardships they went through and inshallah try and reflect.
hmm... you sound like a very intelligent muslimah.
i cant recall a disability which would reduce the appeal to be honest if you are as you have described.
be patient sis, a righteous brother willl come along.
trust me, there are sisters without disabilities waiting longer then you! dont EVER EVER start thinking bad about Allah (i know its easy to in such situations), im sure ALlah wishes the best for you !
keep asking him... keep asking ! inshAllah
My darling, why dont you try looking for someone who also has a disability
hmm personally, IF I WAS DISABLED i wouldnt want someone with a disability (although i wouldnt reject the idea totally until ive checked the person out). But because im not disabled i wouldnt mind someone with a disability.
its just easier that way i guess.
-
My tears testify that i have a heart
yet i feel me and shaytan never part
-
My darling, why dont you try looking for someone who also has a disability, and will be more willing to accept you?, Im not going to sugar coat anything, but you should not look up to or accept anybody that doesnt accept you, and therefore someone with your problem will be more suited to you as a person? what do u think? Have u tried this?
I am open to a brother who has disability but i haven't seen one yet. Jazakallahu khair all of you for your advice.
I am open to a brother who has disability but i haven't seen one yet. Jazakallahu khair all of you for your advice.
I am so sorry that you are having trouble finding a spouse and that people can be so shallow. My husband is disabled and my health is not the best, I will pray for you. Have you ever tried an Islamic marriage site or even eharmony?
Ragdoll- i have tried pretty much everything from muslim sites to eharmony , family and friends Jazakallahu khair sister.
have Sabr and rely on Allah Subhanu wa Ta' Aala!
i met my wife 2 years ago. she told me that she gets up before Fajr and prays, and then reads 1 Juz from the Qur'an every day!
i asked her to marry me!
we've been married for almost 2 years.
she had polio when she was one. she is permanently handi-capped. but Alhumdulillah, she has Taqwah!
her older sister had it MUCH worse, she's wheel chair bound. she's divorced but she has 2 beautiful children!
Allah knows best when and who you will marry. you don't know.
maybe, he's not ready yet!
you see, i REALLY met my wife 3+ years ago, but i wasn't a Muslim then.
a short time later i DID become a Muslim.
EXACTLY one year later, we met...
again...
Had the non-believer known of all the Mercy which is in the Hands of Allah, he would not lose hope of entering Paradise, and had the believer known of all the punishment which is present with Allah, he would not consider himself safe from the Hell-Fire http://www.muftimenk.co.za/Downloads.html
^^ brother you give excellent advise..Baraka Allah feek
sis everyone can get married at ANY age, with all ailments and all situations, I have seen divorcee(s) get married, people in their forty get married, people in their sixty, but all when Allah swt wills .. there is always hope.. have faith in Allah swt that he is only driving you to what is best for you.. Insha'Allah you'll have all your heart desires.. there is always hope...
pls don't feel like you are behind scehdule or have to cave in to some pressure or sccumb to talks or expectations of people...
have hope and always smile..
Baraka Allah feeki
Text without context is pretext If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him
You should also keep reminding your self that life is a test. Allah is testing you and he will reward you for it. Allah will also reward you for your disability, so you should be happy about that. You are accumulating good deeds because of you disability and that will definitely add up.
Always do make duas. For truly, life in this world is just temporary. The materials things that we have now, don’t matter when we die.
“Allah increases the provision for whom He wills, and straitens (it for whom He wills), and they rejoice in the life of the world, whereas the life of this world as compared with the Hereafter is but a brief passing enjoyment" (26) Ar-Rad
You could be like those who turn to Allah in times of need and grateful of the blessings of Allah. And everything is tests in this world. Be patience.
You are such a lovely sister, and so easy to love Masha'Allah..
I love you in Allah swt, you have such a tender soft heart, and I know one day soon Allah swt will grant you something phenomenal for your patience and for your amazing heart..
I love listening to suret Yousef.. indeed great patience is rewarded with great success..
ameen
Text without context is pretext If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him
I can totally understand with you sister. I am not handicapped or anything, fairly normal and a lot of people tell me I am good looking also. But when the time came for marriage, for whatever reason I got rejected a lot. It's was more painful that most of the marriages were coming from my family. It hurt me to see my parents were losing hope and was becoming restless. My mom even got to the point and said once - go find yourself a wife... Imagine, how hard it must have been. All i ever wanted was to be a good son, a good muslim and a successful person in life. I thought i would find someone sincere in due time, but it never really happened the way I expected it. Later, i met my wife. She was not everything I had hoped for but she had some Iman in her, so I married her. Our difference there, but I am just resting it up to Allah. To provide me patience and strength to live this short life with. Even to this day, i look in the mirror and wonder why these girls didn't want to marry me. It took my heart out and made me feel really ugly. I just put it in my past and so glad that part of my life is over with.
all i know is- without Allah's mercy we are nothing. I could have been Brad Pitt but without his mercy no one could help me. So ask Allah for help and stay persistent. All shall work out as it was planned out 50,000 years before the world was created.
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