First I am not talking about relationships or freindships before marriage,I am talking about a man who met a girl in the presence of her wali ( father or brother) then he find her practicing Muslima,from a good famly ,her looking is acceptable and have good personality,but he doesn`t have any feeling towrds her,even when he repeated the meeting( in the present of the wali )he stil doesn`t feel anything towards her.
So do you think that love can come after marriage,so he can force himself now for marreing her then feel love later? or have he to wait until he meet someone who love her from the first sight.
First I am not talking about relationships or freindships before marriage,I am talking about a man who met a girl in the presence of her wali ( father or brother) then he find her practicing Muslima,from a good famly ,her looking is acceptable and have good personality,but he doesn`t have any feeling towrds her,even when he repeated the meeting( in the present of the wali )he stil doesn`t feel anything towards her.
So do you think that love can come after marriage,so he can force himself now for marreing her then feel love later? or have he to wait until he meet someone who love her from the first sight.
OKay attraction would be a good start at least..no i would not force yourself to marry this girl..give it sometime. some people feel that spark on the first meeting some people don't usually people who don't feel anything move on and don't take a chance on marriage and they usually find somebody they feel alot of chemistry with and hummm how can i say maybe a ''connection'' somebody they can connect to and have loads in common in other words compatibility, make sure you have all of these things before even considering marriage. however thats very good Alhamdulilah she is a practicing muslimah but id still give it some time to get to know her.
you have to be more specific about what you mean by you feel nothing for her? you mean by love? or merely an attraction/a liking?
love takes an age to develop truly and deeply. you shouldn't pin your hopes on falling in love at first sight. as long as she prays and is of good character, etc and there is that spark and you feel some kind of *emotional* inclination towards her, i advise you to marry her....dont expect these things to happen over night...rarely they do...give it time. so far that you have met her, there hasn't been a real reason to fall in love with her yet, because you dont live with her, you haven't shared anything really that special, havnt shared a laugh or cup of tea...so how can you be in love with her...how can you except your heart to accept her "just like that?"
at this stage of getting to know her, and at this stage of your "relationship" with her, you more likely just have an inclination towards her.
so far your relationship with her is just a mild inclination that, given the right ingredients, will no doubt develop and grow into something greater overtime. just because you have met her, and talk to her, it doesn't at all mean that it "qualifies" you to fall in love with her.
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
First I am not talking about relationships or freindships before marriage,I am talking about a man who met a girl in the presence of her wali ( father or brother) then he find her practicing Muslima,from a good famly ,her looking is acceptable and have good personality,but he doesn`t have any feeling towrds her,even when he repeated the meeting( in the present of the wali )he stil doesn`t feel anything towards her.
So do you think that love can come after marriage,so he can force himself now for marreing her then feel love later? or have he to wait until he meet someone who love her from the first sight.
Salaam brother.
Love does not just grow on a person straight away. Yes if you meet somebody, you may be attracted to them, but to really love them you have to spend time with them, get to know them, etc.
Of course in your situation it may be different because you may have only known her for a short while, but love can grow over time.
If you feel that you may develop something with her after marriage than it's your choice to go ahead with it, so long as you don't mind marrying her. I think you should speak to her more, get to know her. Ask her about her views on Islam and other important subjects. It may not be everything but it may give you an insight into the type of person she is. Of course i am not an expert, infact i have little to no practice but this is just what i think.
I think love IS important for a marriage to work, because if a husband and wife harbour no love, then it can easily fall out, or have effects on the children. For example if the parents fight all the time infront of children. Of course that's thinking a bit too ahead but it's something to consider. But like i mentioned, love grows over time. If you think this sister is an acceptable person then you may start to develop affection over time. If you are unsure, i would suggest waiting it out a bit more, meeting a few more times and even speaking to her parents just to get some knowledge of her, this is just my view.
it can but first tell what kind of practicing muslim ?
- she pray 5 times ?
- Pray 5 times and study islam and try to implement islam in daily life ?
- Wear proper hijaab ?
if she is very good in deen then no problem love will come after marriage
Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported:
Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status, her beauty and her religion; so try to get one who is religious, may your hand be besmeared with dust (may you enjoy welfare).
Hadith number in Sahih Muslim [Arabic only]: 2661
Last edited by Mr.President; 02-24-2010 at 11:36 AM.
"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." [30:21]
If you believe there was no connection between you two, there is nothing wrong with seeing other suitors. There's no need to think that marriage to a certain person is an act of compulsion or obligation that you need to perform.
Rest assured that marriage is a long and significant partnership, it can be trying and it can be joyful bliss, you make it either one based on how you approach it. If you choose someone you're already not comfortable with you may end up unhappy later on. Personalities and chemistry between people have nothing to do with piousness.
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Iblis's eternal destination in the Hellfire is due to Arrogance, not Disbelief.
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