Is it inappropriate?

[Lostinthisworld]

Salam to all.
I am getting married in few months time with a guy from another country. This is an arranged marriage therefore i have met the guy only twice so far. It has been over a month since we last met.
We are not engaged but it’s sort of a done deal .My question is that is it inappropriate/wrong for me to talk to him or email him? So far my husband to be has only been communicating with my dad but he has yet to email me personally. The reason I want to keep in touch with him is because I feel that he & i should take this opportunity to get to know each other a little better since we are only getting married 3 / 4 months later. He is not taking the initiative to contact me, so should I?

[Ummu Sufyaan]

if you want to talk to him, make sure you are accompanied by a mahram/wali. anything out of those boundaries, is not advisable =)

check this out.

Is it Permissible to Talk to ones Fiancée over the Telephone?
Answered by the Muhadith, the ‘Allaama, Shaykh of Hadeeth Muhammad Nasr ud-Deen al-Albaani

Translated by Abbas Abu Yahya

This is a translation of the transcript of a question that was asked to Shaykh al-Albaani - may Allaah have mercy upon him.

Shaykh: Yes

Questioner: Assalamu alaykum

Shaykh: wa Alaykum Assalamu wa Rahmatullaahi wa Baraktuhu

Questioner: If you don't mind is the noble Shaykh al-Albaani there?

Shaykh: He's with you.

Questioner: Good, if you would allow me O Shaykh I have some questions to ask.

Shaykh: Go ahead.

Questioner: Is it permissible to talk to my fiancée over the phone?

Shaykh: have you contracted the marriage yet or not?

Questioner: not yet.

Shaykh: It's not permissible.

Questioner: Not permissible??

Shaykh: Not allowed.

Questioner: Even if it's for advice?

Shaykh: it's not permissible.

Questioner: ok is it permissible for me to visit her and sit with her if the Mahram is present?

Shaykh: with a Mahram being present and she comes in front of you wearing a Jilbaab in Hijab, like when she goes out, then it's allowed, otherwise no.

Questioner: is it possible for her to uncover her face?

Shaykh: it's possible, if it's only the face.

Questioner: only the face?

Shaykh: She shouldn't wear a beautified dress and a short dress etc.

Questioner: ok regarding sitting with her, what is permissible for me to talk to her about?

Shaykh: Do not talk to her except with what you would talk to with other than her.

Questioner: Ok if she asks me for a picture of me, is it ok to give it to her or not?

Shaykh: just like if you asked her for her picture.

Questioner: yes??

Shaykh: I said just like if you asked her for her picture.

Questioner: yeah.

Shaykh: Is it permissible?

Questioner: No.

Shaykh: and my answer is also no.

Questioner: your answer is no??

Shaykh: no, definitely no.

Questioner: about what??

Shaykh: About what! For the same thing what you said, that you cannot ask her for her picture.

Questioner: yeah.

Shaykh: understand?

Questioner: yeah, yes.

Shaykh: If you understand then stick to it.

Questioner: But O Shaykh sometimes a person is forced to phone her, is this permissible?

Shaykh: I don’t think there is a need, you want to marry her don’t you?

Questioner: For example, is it permissible to phone her for the possibility that I can visit her, at such and such time?

Shaykh: why do want to visit her?! What's the difference between her and any other woman?

Questioner: Do you mean it's not allowed to visit her?

Shaykh: O my brother, I say to you what's the difference between her and any other woman? Why do you want to visit her? You want to marry her; you marry her by requesting it from her guardian.

Questioner: If her guardian is present?

Shaykh: You want to marry her, you marry her by requesting her guardian, if there is an original agreement then you can visit her if the guardian is present, to see her and she sees you, as for visiting her then no!

Questioner: It's still not allowed to visit even after the engagement?

Shaykh: After the engagement?

Questioner: Yeah.

Shaykh: She remains to be a stranger to you O brother until you perform the marriage contract.

Questioner: Thank you, may Allaah reward you O Shaykh.

Shaykh: And you.

Questioner: May Allaah be generous to you.

Shaykh: May Allaah protect you… Sallamu alayk.

Questioner: Assalamu alaykum

Shaykh: Wa Alaykum Assalamu wa Rahmatullaahi wa Baraktuhu

Taken from: Silsilah Huda wa Noor, tape no. 269 at 10mins

[Masuma]

Walikum Us Salam Wr Wb!

My question is that is it inappropriate/wrong for me to talk to him or email him?

Yes sister, it is. You two should talk through a third party i.e your wali! Even sending emails and chatting on cell phone would cause harm because we know satan is just so very cunning.

It is like following the footsteps of the devil.

If you are accompanied by mahrams, you tow can even meet and talk face to face. But never alone should you two be in any case whatsoever! It is for our won benefit sister that Allah has prescribed this way.

Give him email address of your wali and tell your would be husband to email him and then your wali would forward his email to you. In this way, you both can keep in contact and your questions about each other or on each others' choices would also be answered.

So far my husband to be has only been communicating with my dad but he has yet to email me personally.

No sister. Let it ONLY be through your dad. Don't give him your personal email. And why is there even the need when already everything is going on so very well?! MashAllah!

The reason I want to keep in touch with him is because I feel that he & i should take this opportunity to get to know each other a little better since we are only getting married 3 / 4 months later. He is not taking the initiative to contact me, so should I?

No sister, you shouldn't take the initiative IMO. And you two can still get to know each other by what I advised above, right?

May Allah bless you two sooooo much! May you two be one of the most happy couple on this earth!

[cat eyes]

why you want to go talking to him for only 4 months left

[Hamza Asadullah]

Salam to all.
I am getting married in few months time with a guy from another country. This is an arranged marriage therefore i have met the guy only twice so far. It has been over a month since we last met.
We are not engaged but it’s sort of a done deal .My question is that is it inappropriate/wrong for me to talk to him or email him? So far my husband to be has only been communicating with my dad but he has yet to email me personally. The reason I want to keep in touch with him is because I feel that he & i should take this opportunity to get to know each other a little better since we are only getting married 3 / 4 months later. He is not taking the initiative to contact me, so should I?

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, jazakallahu khayran for sharing this with us my sister. Firstly sister since you have done things the right way in regards to marriage as in not interacting before marriage then let things remain this way until nikah is done. You have your whole lifetime to get to know each other and another 4 months will not do any harm at all for it is shaythan that is wanting to pollute your marriage from creating an urge in your to interact with him before nikah. It is not necessery at all for you to communicate with him before nikah therefore be patient for another 4 months until nikah.

If you really want to communicate with him then do as sister Aneeza suggested and write your e mail with whatever questions you have and send it to your wali who can then send it to him and then your fiancee can send his e mail to your wali for your wali to send it to you, or you can meet him with your wali present. This way you are communicating through your wali. Otherwise sister leave it how it is and 4 months will be over in no time and after nikah because you have done things the right way Allah will put blessings and peace into your marriage that many marriages are deprived of because of the fact they polluted their marriages with doing haraam beforehand.

and Allah knows best in all matters