As far as friends are concerned, I’ve learnt a lot about them in the past week.
Compared to you or the average American, I live a much more conservative in my general outlook on life. I’m not the one you’ll see near a bar or adult-explicit location.
Last Saturday, I went out with two of my closest friends. For background purpose, I’ll also add that both of them were raised in strict and conservative environments; even moreso than me. After we ate at a restaurant and went out for ice cream, they wanted to smoke some Hookah. I discouraged it, bringing the debilitating factors of it. Unfortunately, that didn’t go too far. Instead, they promised me they’ll only do it once every 3 months as a compromise.
I assumed they’d take me to a restaurant to smoke Hookah. instead, they took me to a Hookah BAR. The inside was completely dark, inappropriately dressed servers, and flashing lights. it was so dark, to the extent that servers used flashlights to walk around.
I’m 17; age is 18+. My beard gave me lenience and the bouncer just said to bring an ID next time. I sat down, hat covering my face. And after two minutes, I politely told my friends that I’ll be outside. They felt guilty, but I suppose the Hookah overwhelmed the guilt, as I waited in the car for an hour.
So I came to a conclusion… It’s better to keep a distance with everyone.Also note, their parents wouldn’t approve of this either.
Life. What more to say?
Your Anonymous Friend,
Razzmatazz
I also found out that those two "friends" were Huffaadh.
of course smoking is haram, but let's not be too harsh with muslims who smoke. Some people are just addicted, and others are not really aware how awful it is. I know many brothers who are good muslims and who smoke. We should give them and tell them it's haram without thinking bad of them.
"O you who believe! Fear ALLAH as He should be feared" [aal 'Imraan, 102]
^ I mean, his main question is regarding his friends. Should he stop hanging out with them now?
I told him to be polite when you see them, but avoid them for the most part.
I think you're right. I guess he should not hang out with them all the time, as we should only keep company with people who are better than us to keep us in the right way. But he may keep seeing them from time to time and help them if they ask for help. We all are sinners, and if people leave us for every sin we do, we will never find the right way.
"O you who believe! Fear ALLAH as He should be feared" [aal 'Imraan, 102]
Keep on advising them, and show them the dangers of smoking hooka (pakistani word for sheesha). There's a misconception that hookah is safe (thanks to our elders). But it isn't. It's as harmful as cigarettes if not more. But don't give up. A friend of mine had photos of her family all over the house. I advised her for years to take them down. Even got mad at her once. But never treated her differently. Then this ramadhan she came to my house and told me she'd taken all the pictures down. ALLAHU AKBAR! Just refuse to go with them, but work hard at convincing them it's haram. Keep nagging and inshaAllah, they'll start to remember your words until they start meaning something to them.
problem is some people don't believe shisha to be haram, so its widely served at many muslim restuarents
but whats the guy worryin about? next time his mates go he can avoid it
He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}] www.QuranicAudio.com www.Quran.com
the shisha bar is a meeting place for frustrated young men and women. they need an alternative but we're not offering it to them we've got this attitude of 'if i am doing alright forget everyone else'
If you feel something is not right (Islamically or otherwise), you should speak your mind and set things straight with your friends. Allah the Most High said: Let there be among you a community who enjoin good and forbid evil; it is they that shall be successful, [3:104]
Tell them "I fear Allah and you should too otherwise we're over".
It is better then being fake and being pushed into doing haraam just to keep ones friendship. Plus, if they can't accept you for who you are then they're not your real friends. You're better off having no friends at all.
If you feel something is not right (Islamically or otherwise), you should speak your mind and set things straight with your friends. Allah the Most High said: Let there be among you a community who enjoin good and forbid evil; it is they that shall be successful, [3:104]
Tell them "I fear Allah and you should too otherwise we're over".
It is better then being fake and being pushed into doing haraam just to keep ones friendship. Plus, if they can't accept you for who you are then they're not your real friends. You're better off having no friends at all.
Well, I don't know if it was by accident or not, but you did figure out it's me.
But here's the thing. These were my best friends, sadly enough. I mean, the previous two or three times we went out, they resisted from the Hookah Bar because I was there. But I suppose as they gradually came to know me, they became a little too comfortable.
They were even considering going to the movie theatre. I'm not saying it's right or wrong to go to one, it's not like I don't watch YouTube excessively, but certain areas Huffaadh are not meant to be. It gives off a wrong impression, if you know what I mean.
I'm just so confused. You can't seem to trust anyone nowadays. It's so pitiful, the state of the Ummah today. I myself am no exception. I have many faults of my own, believe it or not. And we all make mistakes, as I've exemplified through the many times I crashed IslamicBoard singlehandedly. And of course, there were the times it was zAk's fault but I took the blame, but that's a story for another day.
I find my closest friends to be through the Internet, because you're forced to leave a distance. But you have to have some human interaction. You naturally need someone to talk to face to face. I don't seem to have that where I live. And in addition, I have a small family. Ever since my only sibling went to university, I'm left with my mom and dad. Which is excellent, Alhamdulillah, very grateful for that.
okay, I don't know where I'm headed with this. But hopefully you get the point?
SubhanAllah! I 'missed' the part about the bar and the immodestly dressed woman. Na udhu billah! This is the shaytaan's lair. You should be harsh with them bro. Gentleness is required for a person who is ignorant. These two young men are not. There is a hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, where he saw one of the asahaba (ra) wearing a gold ring. He took his hand and pulled off the ring, flinging it away in anger, and said, "Would one of you seek a burning charcoal and place it on his hand?!"
The man was later told, after the Prophet pbuh left: ‘Take your ring! Make good use of it [by selling it].’ The man said: ‘No, by God! I will never take it after the Messenger of God pbuh cast it away.’ (Reported in Muslim #2090)
Hence, this isn't the time to sugar coat your admonishments. Tell them openly that they are inviting Allah's displeasure and punishment upon themselves, and showing insolence to Allah, the Almighty, after He has placed knowledge in their hearts. Remind them to fear their Creator, and don't go anywhere with them where there is even a small chance of fitnah.
Well, I don't know if it was by accident or not, but you did figure out it's me.
No. I used to have friends just like that.
format_quote Originally Posted by Rashad
But here's the thing. These were my best friends, sadly enough.
They were my best friends too or so it seemed.
Let me tell you from experience. I used to be in a company of six very close friends. My friends did the worst things ever possible that a girl in an Islamic school can do. May Allah SWT guide them to the straight path and forgive them. I was never given freedom by my parents. They simply did not like the idea of socialising outside school. The rest of the group was so to speak "trusted" by their parents and were allowed to go out to friend’s house, birthdays, Eid parties etc. They got carried away with their parent’s given freedom and Shaitain got the better of them as they started free mixing in parks and lying to their parents.
One of my friends was very religious. She used to advise others not to do that. One day they decided to leave school to go to the park by sneaking out of the back door. Hijab was compulsory as school uniform and I know for a fact that people on street could see those girls sneaking out. There are certain things that girls in Hijab should not be doing. It worked, they didn’t get caught. They did it again, it worked again. They then decided to persuade the religious one. "It's just for fun. We never got caught before" is what they said. The next day they all got caught on camera and the video was played to their father. Can you imagine? The worst affected in all this was the religious one because her father trusted her. He had high hopes for her and she threw it all out the window.
My sister was a year above me and she knew my friends very well. She advised me before i too gave into "friendship". Of course, I still used to hang out with them because they served a very important purpose in my life. Consequences meant a lesson learnt and their mistakes almost always lead to bad consequences. I learnt from their immature, not to mention foolish mistakes. After I left school, I choose my friends very carefully and alhamdulilah despite going to a mixed college, I managed to find girls who’s weren’t interested in socialising outside school. The only thing they were interested in was work and so was I.
Brother, take it from someone who has experienced it and stay well away from company like that. May Allah SWT guide our brothers and sisters to the straight path.
Last edited by Life_Is_Short; 09-18-2010 at 12:46 AM.
I was never given freedom by my parents. They simply did not like the idea of socialising outside school. The rest of the group was so to speak "trusted" by their parents and were allowed to go out to friend’s house, birthdays, Eid parties etc. They got carried away with their parent’s given freedom and Shaitain got the better of them as they started free mixing in parks and lying to their parents.
Subhanallah! This is my EXACT scenario! It's almost as if you're reading a script of the situation I'm currently wrapped up in.
Except, I personally was never into socializing outside of school either. I was happy at home, with limited connections with the outside world. Just as much that'd keep me fueled. If people come to me for help, I definitely won't refuse them of course.
But anyway, for the past few months, I sort of expanded my horizons, so to speak. I regret it now though. I'm going to go back to my limited confinement now, I think. It's safer that way. Less chances of being offended or "hurt".
Subhanallah! This is my EXACT scenario! It's almost as if you're reading a script of the situation I'm currently wrapped up in.
Except, I personally was never into socializing outside of school either. I was happy at home, with limited connections with the outside world. Just as much that'd keep me fueled. If people come to me for help, I definitely won't refuse them of course.
But anyway, for the past few months, I sort of expanded my horizons, so to speak. I regret it now though. I'm going to go back to my limited confinement now, I think. It's safer that way. Less chances of being offended or "hurt".
Four years from now, these friends are the most pious girls you'd come across. Alhamdulilah, Allah SWT guided them.
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Keep on advising them, and show them the dangers of smoking hooka (pakistani word for sheesha). There's a misconception that hookah is safe (thanks to our elders). But it isn't. It's as harmful as cigarettes if not more. But don't give up. A friend of mine had photos of her family all over the house. I advised her for years to take them down. Even got mad at her once. But never treated her differently. Then this ramadhan she came to my house and told me she'd taken all the pictures down. ALLAHU AKBAR! Just refuse to go with them, but work hard at convincing them it's haram. Keep nagging and inshaAllah, they'll start to remember your words until they start meaning something to them.
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