I need some guy advice

[anonymous]

My fiance and I broke up 6 months ago. He initiated the break up saying that he wasn't ready due to financial difficulties and I could sense that he wanted to do more with his life because he was a very ambitious person, just like me. We both felt that we weren't ready for marriage as things weren't progressing and we kept postponing the wedding, yet at the same time it was very stressful because I mean we can't keep postponing it for years and years, and I didn't want a long engagement (we were together for 1 year which is 9 months more than I would have wanted, but due to our circumstances I would've waited as long as possible for him).

Before the break up he was a little distant which is understandable because he was probably thinking about it a lot. It was just so weird because it happened in one night and I could sense that it was the end. I felt really sad but I didn't feel heartbroken, it just felt like I was missing someone who's going to leave for a long time but will return. I asked him if he still loved me and he said that he did, but he also said things like "You'll be ok" and "You'll find your prince charming and forget about me" "Time will heal." So it kind of sounded contradictory because it's like he wanted me to move on yet I'm not sure if he was just trying to be nice and holding back his feelings.

We didn't fight or anything, it just happened kind of mutually..well more like he initiated it and I didn't want give the impression that I would chase after him because I wanted to keep some dignity for myself. He didn't give me the option to wait for him until he got things together either. I'm just really left with so many questions.

It's been 6 months and I'm still very much in love with him. We haven't talked or seen each other since that day, and now I'm getting a proposal from someone else who my dad wants me to give a chance I guess...but it's very difficult for me to think of someone else right now. I'm really good at hiding my feeling so no one knows that I'm still heart broken so my dad has been trying to convince me to meet with the guy.

I feel like I need some closure or something. I can't go on like this, I feel miserable inside and I've been trying to busy myself with everything to get my mind off of him for the past 6 months...I've been patient thinking if it is meant to happen it will under better circumstances, and if not then it wasn't meant to be.

Should I talk to him to get some closure or at least find out if he'd be willing to give this another try? I don't know what goes on through a guys mind so I was hoping someone might give me some advice.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

wa alaykum us-Salaam
perhaps you are not still in love with him per se, but rather that you might still have feelings for him because you haven't really been given any closure. it seems you haven't given yourself the proper space to move on.
like this here

I've been patient thinking if it is meant to happen it will under better circumstances, and if not then it wasn't meant to be.

have you tried to actually move on by accepting that you cant be together? i think this maybe the problem that you are living on false hope and you are not "confident" in your decision....you're sort of between this and that because he says he still loves you but he didn't marry you... that is what is preventing you from properly moving on and its pulling you in 2 very different directions and making you really confused and and not so confident in the decision you have made.

im not really sure how to advice you because he is the one that called it off so if he wanted to come back, he would have otherwise why would he of broken it off in the first place.... does that make sense? sorry to be blunt.

I dont want to be sus of the guy, but could it be that he lied to make you feel better to clear his own conscious? i dont know, i have always thought that if a man is serious about a girl he either marries her or he doesn't. it is either seriousness or it isn't. men aren't really that indecisive about these things...at least i dont think so.

and what do you mean by "fiance" i mean was there an official proposal?