salam

**karimium** · 08-10-2011

I'm a lapsed muslim who lost faith and had his iman deteriorated over time.

Post 9/11 from the onslaught of propaganda against islam, it made me question my belief, I never sought answers to these questions posed by evangelists from other faiths, and I just let these doubts fester in my mind without seeking clarification from them. I always had enough faith to believe in Allah, and the Quran and his messengers but became very agnostic in some of my beliefs about prayer.

Although I would call myself a muslim, I was probably for all intents and purposes an agnostic throughout all this time. I never prayed, the only prayer I did was recite the dua Allahumma bismika amuutu wa ahyaa because I went through a phase of getting very scary nightmares and when I recited that dua it ususally gave me peaceful sleep.

Just a few days ago, my father passed away, and it created an emotional response in me, I could only find solace in prayer and I prayed and made dua to Allah to spare him as much as possible, not for my sake but for his sake.

Now this has led me to question, how do I want to die, how do I want to raise my children, and if there is an afterlife I need to sort out my priorities. I'm beginning my quest to seek answers to the doubts I have in my very fragile iman and research them.

This is why I am here.

**جوري** · 08-10-2011

aboard and Ramadan Mubarak.. you sound like me but pre 911.. When 911 happened I thought to myself if Muslims are behind this I want absolutely nothing to do with this religion.. then I started studying it seriously to make an educated decision.. sob7an Allah.. I think also for that reason many people converted post 911.. they wanted to know what this religion was all about and became pleasantly surprised in a life altering way..