I was in a grocery store and it was very crowded. A man let me through and said something along the lines of, "Didn't want you to get run over," and I politely smiled, thanked him and nodded as I passed through. Then, it hit me. He looked and sounded just like my father who had inexplicably left when I was 16, about 5 years ago. He now has remarried and two children (maybe more). I haven't seen or heard from him since the court date a couple months afterwards.
I had gotten so angry with my father, that I felt like it wasn't worth it to care anymore and I had convinced myself that it wasn't something that mattered to me. But, after I had sort of a flashback, I felt incredibly sad all of the sudden and began to tear up as I hid my face. I was confused because I always believed I never felt sad about it and I, myself, even wondered why... but now I just feel awful like it's all just overflowing the jar in which it was bottled.
I can't figure out how I feel about everything even to this day. I always thought it was so simple...
I have no one to talk to, so I turned to you guys who always seem pretty insightful and interesting.
[Also, I know the man wasn't my father even though I only got a glimpse of him because since then, I have moved thousands of miles away.]
I never had relation with my father, he is irresponsible, who live the wrong path and thinks its Okay.
He never dream or work hard for us, he cheated my mother countless times. I heard he has 10kids out of wedlock, seems rumor to me but atleast 4 is confirmed.
He's always drunk and deny he drinks. He always have new girlfriend
But the other day I saw him in picture in gathering sitting with other men, drinking
I always see him like that when we were young
and I felt terribly sad, it tears me up inside that at age of 58 he didnt see the light.
I try to have relation with him but its just upsetting me, I sincerely pray to our Creator to have mercy on his soul and may he leave this earth believing that there is only One God who creates the world, because this is the only sin that can make you stay in the hell fire forever. Amen
I was in a grocery store and it was very crowded. A man let me through and said something along the lines of, "Didn't want you to get run over," and I politely smiled, thanked him and nodded as I passed through. Then, it hit me. He looked and sounded just like my father who had inexplicably left when I was 16, about 5 years ago. He now has remarried and two children (maybe more). I haven't seen or heard from him since the court date a couple months afterwards.
I had gotten so angry with my father, that I felt like it wasn't worth it to care anymore and I had convinced myself that it wasn't something that mattered to me. But, after I had sort of a flashback, I felt incredibly sad all of the sudden and began to tear up as I hid my face. I was confused because I always believed I never felt sad about it and I, myself, even wondered why... but now I just feel awful like it's all just overflowing the jar in which it was bottled.
I can't figure out how I feel about everything even to this day. I always thought it was so simple...
I have no one to talk to, so I turned to you guys who always seem pretty insightful and interesting.
[Also, I know the man wasn't my father even though I only got a glimpse of him because since then, I have moved thousands of miles away.]
Salaam,
It is never good to bottle up your feelings. Let it all out. Of course, not in public.
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
Why don't you try to reach out to him and set things aright? just have a candid talk, hearts change over time, perhaps he wishes to reach out to you to but thinks you're young have your own life and want nothing to do with him..
I think you owe it to yourself to find out.. You're hurting already so I don't think finding out once and for all will change that hurt.. but on the other hand if he wants to rekindle a relationship with you then you'll have a new happy chapter to start..
yeah, my dad remarried after things weren't working out with my mum too, i could see it from both sides but was angry at him at first, he was never rude and always loved us, but they just couldn't carry on and i'm happy there weren't fights all the time,
after certain events over the past few days, i was asking a guy at work who i knew had divorced how it had gone, he said: couldn't be better, we speak, i get to see the kids, but couldn't put up with the arguments so we parted ways.
my friend, there are stories of men beating and killing their wives out of anger for things that have happened, i'm sure your father decided that wasn't the best course to take and i would respect him for it.
and i'm sure he has heart wrenching experiences when he thinks of you but does his best to be practical,
if you went to see him i believe he would welcome you with open arms.
my other brothers and sisters weren't too happy about it and wanted to get rid of the woman without any money when my father passed away,
only me and my eldest brother disagreed and came to an agreement with her.
i threatened the brother older than me because he spoke about her in a disrespectful way as he took sides with my mother who would naturally feel a little jealous.
anyone who disrespects a woman my father took into his house disrespects my father.
he came round slowly.
i remember going to the village to see him after around 5 years since he left england despite my mother getting angry at me, he just hugged me and burst into tears for ages and so did i.
took me around the village, showed me things he'd made, trees he'd planted, got the woman's younger brother to get coconuts off the trees for me (yelled at them ), showed me the new fish ponds he'd had dug.
the woman was real nice and obliging too, (i did have a few angry comments for her at first) but she was ok and both seemed happy.
would you have wanted both your parents to be miserable?
you gotta see him
If you feel ready, I think you should try to reach out to your dad. What happened to you in that store was no coincident, I honestly believe that's a sign from Allah that your father loves you and that he misses you too. Just tell him how you feel, no matter what he has done he is still your father. I hope that you get to speak to him again and that he can be part of your life. You can write him, and go from there.
Learn Patience from Asiyah, Loyalty from Khadijah, Sincerity from Aisha and Steadfastness from Fatima.
its ok...accept your emotions. Just to let you know that...sadness and frustration actually can make you be stronger. it teaches you to work hard and try hard to proof to everyone whom had hurt you that you can be an achiever. and can be the best of the best. Acknowledge this absorb it...and turn into it an action that said it to your self that 'i'm going to show that i'm a successful without you being there'.
p/s:- i was left by my father before i was born because he has remarried.
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
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عليكم
), showed me the new fish ponds he'd had dug.
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