Wives should not be treated harshly; it is their right to live honourably.
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَنْ تَرِثُوا النِّسَاءَ كَرْهاً وَلا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُوا بِبَعْضِ مَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلاَّ أَنْ يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُبَيِّنَةٍ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِنْ كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَى أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئاً وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْراً كَثِيراً
“O you who believe! You are prohibited to inherit women against their will; and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sex; and live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.”
(Aayah No. 4, Surah An-Nisa’, Chapter No. 4, Holy Qur’an).
This is a clear order from Allah for husbands to treat their wives with dignity, not to be harsh with them in words, actions etc. Every human has some shortcomings. It is natural for a wife also to have some negatives in her personality. But Allah advises the husbands to look into positives of the wives. Try to ignore her shortcomings and be patient.
Let me quote a hadith in this context:
It was narrated from Umm Salamah (RA) that she brought some food in a dish of hers to Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) & his Companions, then Aishah (RA) came, wrapped up in a garment, with a stone pestle and broke the dish. The Prophet (PBUH) gathered the broken pieces of the dish and said (to his Companions), “Eat; your mother got jealous,” twice. Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) took the dish of Aishah (RA) and sent it to Umm Salamah (RA) and he gave the dish of Umm Salamah (RA) to Aishah (RA).
(Hadith No. 3408, Book of Kind Treatment of Women, Sunan An-Nasa’i, Vol. 4).
Imagine how would an average man behave if his wife smacked a dish out of jealousy in front of his guests? But our beloved Prophet (PBUH) observed patience.
And he advised same thing to his followers, as can be seen in following hadith:
It was narrated that Abu Hurairah (RA) said: Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) said, “No believing man should hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he may be pleased with another.”
(Hadith No. 3645 (1467), Book of Breastfeeding, Sahih Muslim, Vol. 4).
http://www.quranandhadith.com/husban...-relationship/
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