Abandoned Children

[ardianto]

My activity today was visiting an orphanage with my brother, sister, and our children. We met the children there. They looked happy, but actually there are many sad stories about them.

Mostly of them are not orphan who lost their parents because death, but abandoned children who left by their parents in the garden, gutters, curbs. And also there are few of them who were saved from their parents who didn't want them.

There was a cute little girl who grabbed our attention. She's less than 3 years old, very cute. But we noticed she has a burn scar on her nose. The orphanage staff told us, her father tortured her with cigarette when she was baby. ..... Astaghfirullah Al Adzim.

Every child is a mandate from Allah, but not every parent is willing to carry out this mandate. Having a child is a dream of some people, but unfortunately there are parent who regard having children as problem.

Problem?. The children who I met today are just innocent people who are too young to understand why their parents saw them as problem. They are just innocent children who need love, something that they never get from their parents.

And if they cannot get love from their parents, can we give a love for them?.

[greenhill]

Astaghfirullah Al Adzim.

Lots of injustice happening around the world. The defenseless suffers!

[glo]

Thank you for sharing, ardianto. I imagine that the visit has had an impact on you all, including your children.

What can we do to show these children than we care?

[Muhaba]

A lot of this is caused by the system in the world today. Free-mixing of men and women, women forced to work (by people, by circumstances, by their own selfish selves, etc) and unable to attend to children, illegitimate relations becoming normal, children born out of wedlock considered legal and normal, etc.

Human children are a full-time duty and requires years of service. As such, unless the mother is able to give the required attention and has the cooperation of the father, she won't be able to do so no matter how much she wants. In such conditions, many will see the children as a problem, a hindrance to their happiness and freedom, and will end up abandoning or neglecting or even hurting the child.

It's true that a woman needs a fulfilling life and would want to pursue her career and interests, but children and the married life do not have to become an obstruction to it. A woman can both see to her children's needs and pursue her career, provided she is pursuing her career for personal fulfillment and not because of financial necessity because whenever a woman becomes totally dependent on her career financially (that is, she doesn't have the support of the father), it becomes difficult for her to give the required attention to children and in majority of cases children become a problem and they suffer even if the woman doesn't consciously want them to. The only time that a woman isn't dependent on her job is when the father is financially responsible for her and the children. Of course there may be times when the father's wages will not be sufficient or the father becomes jobless, in which case the family does depend at least temporarily on the mother's job, but in those cases the mother has the support and help of the father, so the children don't suffer. But that is not the case when the father abandons the children. To give to the children, the mother has to get. If she doesn't have the father's love and support, the children will suffer not only lack of father's love but also because the mother will not be in the emotional condition to give the required love and care.

The system is messed up and it is the children who suffer. But unfortunately, feminism and women's rights movements want those things will have such a negative effect on children and society in the long run. Children who grow up abandoned, neglected, abused end up being delinquent. some become criminals. many are emotionally unstable.

What can we do to show these children than we care?

We can give these children a hug or a gift to show that we care. Some can adopt them and give them a loving home.

[glo]

We can give these children a hug or a gift to show that we care. Some can adopt them and give them a loving home.

Thank you for your reply.

What I meant to ask is what can we here in the UK do for the children brother ardianto visited in the orphanage? Can we donate money or send toys or letters? That's what I was thinking.

[ardianto]

Thank you for sharing, ardianto. I imagine that the visit has had an impact on you all, including your children.

I hope that the visit could give positive impact to my children, and they will care to orphans and abandoned children.

It has been long time since the last time I visited orphanage. When I was kid and youth, sometime I visited orphanage or old house with my school. And out of school program, sometime too me and my friends visited orphanage when we had something that we could share to children in orphanage.

Care to orphans and abandoned children is a message from our parents to us.

What can we do to show these children than we care?

Meet and interact with them. It can make them realize that there are people who care on them. We can visit them, or invite them when we make an event.

Yes, we must care to them with share what we can share to them. But it's better if we do something more than just put donation in box or send clothes/toys through courier service without we ever seen those children.

Those children are not different than our friends children. So, visit and interact with them like we visit our friend home and interact with their children.

If we can adopt them, it's good. But not all of us able to adopt a child.

[ardianto]

Mostly of children in orphanages in my place are not orphan who lost their parents because death. Children like this usually live with their family, or adopted without passing orphanage.

Majority of them were babies who abandoned by their mothers. They left on various places such as someone houseyard, marketplace. Even some of them actually abandoned for die because they left in place which not easy to be found by people. But Allah saved them with make them cry, and heard by someone.

Abandon baby like this is a crime. Some of their mother could be arrested after police did investigation.

Those mothers are not feminist or working women who are busy with career. But they are just ordinary women who became victims of men who seduced them to have sex, but then refuse to responsible. It made those women ashamed and frustrated. This condition made them 'blind' and lost their motherly nature.

Like I've said in another thread, men are lucky. Men can have sex with women, then go and disappear. But what will happen with the women when they get pregnant?. What will happen with their innocent children?