An old man,
staying in a small south Indian town came to visit his son in Bombay recently.
The son in his early thirties is a successful businessman living with his wife and son.
The father,
having spent most of his life at his birthplace,
hardly understands a splatter of Hindi or English,
forget Marathi.
But he doesn't care.
'I have come here to spend a few days with my son and his family.
I don't have to go out and socialize with the city people,' he said.
But the son is very excited about his father's rare visit to Bombay.
He wants to make the best of it.
He and his wife want to show him around the city.
And yes, the son enjoys those evening hours too, when he and his father go out , sit and
sipping their favorite drink.
Last week he was in a very good mood.
'Let's go to a five star hotel tonight,' he told his father.
It was a beautiful evening.
Talking about everything under the sun they had food.
As usual they were offered some salad, peanuts, wafers etc as accompaniments with their food.
The old man being almost toothless was not much interested in eating.
But that day when they got up to leave,
he simply took a handful of channa (roasted grams) and stuffed it in the fold of his dhoti.
He might have thought about munching on them,
sitting in the car
or whatever.
Unfortunately while walking in the lobby,
he missed a step and stumbled.
Down he went, scattering the channa on the plush carpet.
No problem .....
Now try to visualize that scenario.
Someone else in his son's place would have been mortified, embarrassed to death.
He might have cursed not his father but his own self for causing this awkward situation.
'Never again will I take my old man to such hotels',
he would have vowed.
No sir, not this son. Gently, with a smile,
he helped his father get back on his feet. Instead of feeling irritated or angry,
he was amused.
He found the whole incident very funny.
Laughing, they both went home and
on the way they decided to return to the same place the following Sunday.
The old man liked the place and liked the channa too.
Few days back,
at a friend's place they both described this event and
made everybody laugh.
Weren't you embarrassed? Somebody asked the son.
'Oh, come on now' replied the son.
'He is my father.
He talks in his native language,
prefers to wear a dhoti even to a posh city hotel,
takes channa from the place to eat later
does whatever he feels like....
So what?
Why should I feel embarrassed with his nature and habits?
Nobody has a right to stop him from doing whatever he feels comfortable with,
as long as it is not harmful to others.'
The son doesn't care what the staff in the hotel thought about that incident.
He says 'they should be concerned only with their bills and tips.
I am concerned about my Father's Happiness.'
The wife too totally agrees with the husband on this issue.
She feels there are enough other qualities in her father- in- law to feel proud of.
Accept them the way they are. . .
The above incident is not mentioned just to
show the love and devotion of a son for his father.
More than love it is a matter of understanding and a healthy respect for the other person's lifestyle.
A seventy plus old man doesn't want to change his lifestyle now.
He likes the way he eats or dresses or talks. In his eyes there is nothing wrong with the old ways of living.
And the son says,
ok, fine.
Every body has a right to live as per his wish.
Now at his age,
why should he be forced to learn to eat with a fork and knife,
if he doesn't want to?
I will feel bad if he is doing something morally wrong or indulging in some harmful activities.
But otherwise it is fine.
I am not going to try to change him at this stage.
He is my father.
I love him, respect him.
Hey folks,
can you think this way?
So many times we see people getting embarrassed by the so called
unsophisticated behaviour of their family members.
They keep on apologizing about their lack of class and manners or about their drawbacks to outsiders.
My wife can't speak proper English;
she doesn't know what's happening in the world,
so I avoid taking her out or introducing her to my friends and business associates...
My parents can't eat with a spoon and fork, so I don't take them to restaurants ...
My husband is working* as an ordinary clerk,
so I feel awkward when I introduce him to my rich friends.
My brother is mentally challenged,
so I don't feel like going out with him...
Are you plagued with such thoughts or do you meet such people who think alike?
If you do,
please ask yourself.
Why do others or I feel this way?
Really what is there to feel ashamed of?
Most of the people always have this fear of
other peoples' opinions and comments.
What would others say??
Y should u????
Think...
Ponder...
Act...
respect
I think it's hard when your living in a superficial society where everyone puts on an appearance that is acceptable to society.
When i go for walks with a friend who is 'disabled/impaired' everyone stares - i HATE it when people stare - a few glances or stares is normal but for people to prolong they stare is just simply rude. How would they feel like it if the tables were turned and someone stared at them. Some members of society have no respect for themselves or others!
I'll stop my rant now and leave this on a positive note - Don't let other's ignorance, stares or lack of etiquette stop you from doing what you got to do.
Nice story btw Alhamdulilah - May Allah swa help us all accept our imperfections, our families imperfections and society's imperfections Ameen.
Your imperfection may be another individual's perfection :-)
Pain and hardships allow you to grow spiritually Alhamdulilah so smile when a so called calamity befalls upon you.
Alhamdulilah Allah swt is the greatest.
dhoti or veshti, is a traditional men's garment worn in India. It is a rectangular piece of unstitched cloth, usually around 4.5 metres (15 ft) long, wrapped around the waist and the legs and knotted at the waist, resembling a long skirt.
dhoti or veshti, is a traditional men's garment worn in India. It is a rectangular piece of unstitched cloth, usually around 4.5 metres (15 ft) long, wrapped around the waist and the legs and knotted at the waist, resembling a long skirt.
A very good reminder Jazakallah!. It's so easy to get caught up in social norms to how we think we should behave and act.
''Let the days do as they please,
And be optimistic when destiny decrees,
Do not despair due to the events of nights past
For the events of this world were not meant to last.”
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Muslim Woman liked this post
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