× Register Login What's New! Contact us
Results 1 to 19 of 19 visibility 3452

I don't know how I'll ever get married

  1. #1
    cerevecc's Avatar Limited Member
    brightness_1
    Limited Member
    star_rate
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1
    Threads
    1
    Rep Power
    0
    Rep Ratio
    5
    Likes Ratio
    0

    I don't know how I'll ever get married

    Report bad ads?

    Salaam

    I'm a guy who lives in a non-Muslim country where Muslims constitute hardly 1% of the population. I've been agnostic my whole life and raised in a secular household, but I've been studying Islam extensivley and will be ready to take the shahada in the coming days. I haven't told anyone about this yet, but most of my relatives and friends are fairly open minded and I don't think I'll face many problems with that. However, there is only one thing I'm worried about at the moment - I don't know how I'll ever get married in a "proper" Islamic way.


    I live in a small provincial city, there are no Masjids here. I don't have any Muslim friends. There are sure some muslims, but I can't just randomly walk up to them on the streets. Basically I'm completely isolated from any Muslim community.


    I've looked into the Muslim online marriage websites and stuff, but honestly I'm quite skeptical. I've only read bad stuff about those. I could be willing to try if I had to but I don't think I'll have much success there. I haven't even found any users in those websites who would be from my area. Now the only possible way I can think of to get married is by "dating" a non-Muslim and hoping they convert. Yes, no easy task but I really don't know what else I could do. There are other obivous issues with this as well - the gender relations in Islam. Would this even be permissible? Could I "date" Islamically, without all that physical touching? maybe courting would be a better term. Would developing a non-physical emotional attachment, meeting, going out together, and talkingbe acceptable? What else could I possibly do? I'm in no hurry to get married yet, but I'm not planning to be a celibate for life either.


    Thanks in advance
    chat Quote

  2. Report bad ads?
  3. #2
    eesa the kiwi's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Oldtimer
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    3,945
    Threads
    337
    Rep Power
    65
    Rep Ratio
    28
    Likes Ratio
    35

    Re: I don't know how I'll ever get married

    brother firstly if you believe islam is the truth you should say shahada without delay, no one knows when the angel of death will come
    do you know how to say it?


    secondly brother with your concerns about finding a wife, if the lord of all that exists can provide for everyone in the heavens and the earth he can certainly provide you with a wife, you just have to have faith thats all. this is easy for him subhannallah
    I don't know how I'll ever get married

    “Allah gave you a gift of 86,000 seconds today, have you used one to say ‘Alhamdulilah"
    chat Quote

  4. #3
    anatolian's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Oldtimer
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Turkey
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,822
    Threads
    47
    Rep Power
    104
    Rep Ratio
    31
    Likes Ratio
    57

    Re: I don't know how I'll ever get married

    Salam brother. Wellcome to Islam. One can find an Islamic way for everything. It is more about your respect to Allah. May Allah make it easy for you
    chat Quote

  5. #4
    anatolian's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Oldtimer
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Turkey
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,822
    Threads
    47
    Rep Power
    104
    Rep Ratio
    31
    Likes Ratio
    57

    Re: I don't know how I'll ever get married

    Yes as the brother eesa says bring shahada first then concern on the other things. You have a hardness but also a great opportunity to invite people around you to Islam.
    chat Quote

  6. Report bad ads?
  7. #5
    Zafran's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Oldtimer
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Earth -UK
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,737
    Threads
    17
    Rep Power
    105
    Rep Ratio
    47
    Likes Ratio
    21

    Re: I don't know how I'll ever get married

    salaam

    Your still allowed to marry a Christian or Jewish women.

    peace
    I don't know how I'll ever get married

    Do you think the pious don't sin?

    They merely:
    Veiled themselves and didn't flaunt it
    Sought forgiveness and didn't persist
    Took ownership of it and don't justify it
    And acted with excellence after they had erred - Ibn al-Qayyim
    chat Quote

  8. #6
    azc's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Oldskool
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    7,057
    Threads
    391
    Rep Power
    70
    Rep Ratio
    34
    Likes Ratio
    35

    Re: I don't know how I'll ever get married

    Assalamu alaikum.Welcome to Islam. First, say shahadah. Don't worry about marriage. Where you come from? Possibly any of us may help you
    chat Quote

  9. #7
    ~ Sabr ~'s Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    Account Restricted
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    My <3 resides in Makkah & Madinah
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,325
    Threads
    94
    Rep Power
    0
    Rep Ratio
    40
    Likes Ratio
    49

    Re: I don't know how I'll ever get married

    format_quote Originally Posted by Zafran View Post
    salaam

    Your still allowed to marry a Christian or Jewish women.

    peace


    People NEED TO STOP saying this! Please look into the ruling of this!!!! This applied to the old types of Christians and Jews who believed that God was one and had NO sons!
    | Likes Souljette liked this post
    I don't know how I'll ever get married

    “Indeed the patient will be given their reward without account.” :love:
    { Qur’aan, Chapter 39, Verse 10 }
    chat Quote

  10. #8
    Zafran's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Oldtimer
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Earth -UK
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,737
    Threads
    17
    Rep Power
    105
    Rep Ratio
    47
    Likes Ratio
    21

    Re: I don't know how I'll ever get married

    format_quote Originally Posted by ~ Sabr ~ View Post




    People NEED TO STOP saying this! Please look into the ruling of this!!!! This applied to the old types of Christians and Jews who believed that God was one and had NO sons!
    Christians is a broad term but generally the followers of christ and Jewish women were and are allowed to be married. Nothing controversial about this.
    I don't know how I'll ever get married

    Do you think the pious don't sin?

    They merely:
    Veiled themselves and didn't flaunt it
    Sought forgiveness and didn't persist
    Took ownership of it and don't justify it
    And acted with excellence after they had erred - Ibn al-Qayyim
    chat Quote

  11. #9
    ~ Sabr ~'s Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    Account Restricted
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    My <3 resides in Makkah & Madinah
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,325
    Threads
    94
    Rep Power
    0
    Rep Ratio
    40
    Likes Ratio
    49

    Re: I don't know how I'll ever get married

    format_quote Originally Posted by Zafran View Post
    Christians is a broad term but generally the followers of christ and Jewish women were and are allowed to be married. Nothing controversial about this.
    Proof?
    I don't know how I'll ever get married

    “Indeed the patient will be given their reward without account.” :love:
    { Qur’aan, Chapter 39, Verse 10 }
    chat Quote

  12. Report bad ads?
  13. #10
    Zafran's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Oldtimer
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Earth -UK
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,737
    Threads
    17
    Rep Power
    105
    Rep Ratio
    47
    Likes Ratio
    21

    Re: I don't know how I'll ever get married

    format_quote Originally Posted by ~ Sabr ~ View Post
    Proof?
    Surah 5.5

    "This day [all] good foods have been made lawful, and the food of those who were given the Scripture is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And [lawful in marriage are] chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse or taking [secret] lovers. And whoever denies the faith - his work has become worthless, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers."
    I don't know how I'll ever get married

    Do you think the pious don't sin?

    They merely:
    Veiled themselves and didn't flaunt it
    Sought forgiveness and didn't persist
    Took ownership of it and don't justify it
    And acted with excellence after they had erred - Ibn al-Qayyim
    chat Quote

  14. #11
    Aamir Bozdar's Avatar Limited Member
    brightness_1
    Limited Member
    star_rate
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    6
    Threads
    1
    Rep Power
    0
    Rep Ratio
    15
    Likes Ratio
    67

    Re: I don't know how I'll ever get married

    Start with the Great name of God who's most merciful and beneficent.
    It's glad to see you an other child of Abraham found peace in Islam.
    I pray for your all circumstances vanish away.
    Peace ☺������☺������☺������
    chat Quote

  15. #12
    sister herb's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Oldskool
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Finland
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    9,198
    Threads
    336
    Rep Power
    145
    Rep Ratio
    62
    Likes Ratio
    80

    Re: I don't know how I'll ever get married

    Salam alaykum

    Welcome to Islam. As others have adviced, the first thing is say shahada. Then you can stop worrying such things like how you can find your spouse. Put your trust to Allah and know that if He wills, finding someone isn´t any problem at all. You don´t know what will happening in the future - do you live in your city all your life or do more Muslims will move to there in the near future. You might be able to travel to some other city and meet there other Muslims. Who knows, what´s Allah´s plans for you.

    Let me compare your situation now to mine at the time when I accepted Islam: at that time in my city lived zero Muslims. I felt very lonely here. But now, after years, here lives hundreds, we have our own tiny Mosque, halal store and one halal restaurant. No loneliness any more. So, trust that Allah knows the best and takes care of your problems.
    Last edited by sister herb; 03-19-2016 at 07:55 AM.
    | Likes anatolian, ardianto liked this post
    I don't know how I'll ever get married

    From Occupied Palestine:

    We have suffered too much for too long. We will not accept apartheid masked as peace. We will settle for no less than our freedom.



    chat Quote

  16. #13
    ~ Sabr ~'s Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    Account Restricted
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    My <3 resides in Makkah & Madinah
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,325
    Threads
    94
    Rep Power
    0
    Rep Ratio
    40
    Likes Ratio
    49

    Re: I don't know how I'll ever get married

    format_quote Originally Posted by Zafran View Post
    Surah 5.5

    "This day [all] good foods have been made lawful, and the food of those who were given the Scripture is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And [lawful in marriage are] chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse or taking [secret] lovers. And whoever denies the faith - his work has become worthless, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers."
    I'm sorry, how is this proof? Go into the tafseer, read it, then come back to me
    I don't know how I'll ever get married

    “Indeed the patient will be given their reward without account.” :love:
    { Qur’aan, Chapter 39, Verse 10 }
    chat Quote

  17. #14
    greenhill's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Oldtimer
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Malaysia
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    3,420
    Threads
    64
    Rep Power
    82
    Rep Ratio
    67
    Likes Ratio
    64

    Re: I don't know how I'll ever get married

    Welcome to the forum.

    Wishing you a great stay..


    I don't know how I'll ever get married

    As long as my heart does beat, I shall live, not lie
    For when my heart does stop its beat, with truth, I die.
    chat Quote

  18. Report bad ads?
  19. #15
    Zafran's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Oldtimer
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Earth -UK
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,737
    Threads
    17
    Rep Power
    105
    Rep Ratio
    47
    Likes Ratio
    21

    Re: I don't know how I'll ever get married

    format_quote Originally Posted by ~ Sabr ~ View Post


    I'm sorry, how is this proof? Go into the tafseer, read it, then come back to me
    I have seen the salafi and Hanifi rulings on it. Its preety clear you can marry a Jewish and christian women. So whats you problem exactly here?

    http://islamqa.org/hanafi/daruliftaa/7666

    https://islamqa.info/en/21380

    peace.
    Last edited by Zafran; 03-22-2016 at 12:15 AM.
    I don't know how I'll ever get married

    Do you think the pious don't sin?

    They merely:
    Veiled themselves and didn't flaunt it
    Sought forgiveness and didn't persist
    Took ownership of it and don't justify it
    And acted with excellence after they had erred - Ibn al-Qayyim
    chat Quote

  20. #16
    ~ Sabr ~'s Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    Account Restricted
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    My <3 resides in Makkah & Madinah
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,325
    Threads
    94
    Rep Power
    0
    Rep Ratio
    40
    Likes Ratio
    49

    Re: I don't know how I'll ever get married

    format_quote Originally Posted by Zafran View Post
    I have seen the salafi and Hanifi rulings on it. Its preety clear you can marry a Jewish and christian women. So whats you problem exactly here?

    http://islamqa.org/hanafi/daruliftaa/7666

    https://islamqa.info/en/21380

    peace.
    One Word: TAFSEER

    If you are misguided, don't misguide others!
    I don't know how I'll ever get married

    “Indeed the patient will be given their reward without account.” :love:
    { Qur’aan, Chapter 39, Verse 10 }
    chat Quote

  21. #17
    Zafran's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Oldtimer
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Earth -UK
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,737
    Threads
    17
    Rep Power
    105
    Rep Ratio
    47
    Likes Ratio
    21

    Re: I don't know how I'll ever get married

    format_quote Originally Posted by ~ Sabr ~ View Post

    One Word: TAFSEER

    If you are misguided, don't misguide others!
    I've shown you two answers from sheiks that use tafsirs - If you actully read both answers you would see that Tabari and Quratabi are sited. Both views from the salafi and the Hanifis - what else are you looking for your exactly and if you have another answer that says that one cannot marry a Jew or a christian then show it?
    Last edited by Zafran; 03-22-2016 at 05:52 PM.
    I don't know how I'll ever get married

    Do you think the pious don't sin?

    They merely:
    Veiled themselves and didn't flaunt it
    Sought forgiveness and didn't persist
    Took ownership of it and don't justify it
    And acted with excellence after they had erred - Ibn al-Qayyim
    chat Quote

  22. #18
    ~ Sabr ~'s Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    Account Restricted
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    My <3 resides in Makkah & Madinah
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,325
    Threads
    94
    Rep Power
    0
    Rep Ratio
    40
    Likes Ratio
    49

    Re: I don't know how I'll ever get married

    That isn't Tafsir, lol
    I don't know how I'll ever get married

    “Indeed the patient will be given their reward without account.” :love:
    { Qur’aan, Chapter 39, Verse 10 }
    chat Quote

  23. #19
    Futuwwa's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Oldtimer
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Finland
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,247
    Threads
    10
    Rep Power
    84
    Rep Ratio
    46
    Likes Ratio
    48

    Re: I don't know how I'll ever get married

    Neither is just saying "tafsir" an argument for anything.
    chat Quote


  24. Hide
Hey there! I don't know how I'll ever get married Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. I don't know how I'll ever get married
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Why Can't I Get Married?
    By farazali in forum Family & Society
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 04-30-2015, 04:01 PM
  2. What is the appropriate age for getting married?
    By BilalKid in forum Family & Society
    Replies: 50
    Last Post: 09-10-2014, 01:23 AM
  3. I am getting married!
    By sister herb in forum General
    Replies: 123
    Last Post: 06-01-2009, 04:14 AM
  4. Getting Married
    By muslimah4life in forum General
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 05-30-2009, 01:05 PM
  5. Married :D
    By akulion in forum General
    Replies: 56
    Last Post: 07-06-2006, 08:28 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
create