I really need some help on how to deal with my parents.My parents are christian and are really set in there ways. They hate Islam with a passion and think that all muslims are going to hell. Well anyway since the protests in london they have been saying that we muslims are hypocrites because we post things about the jews all the time, so why are we reacting this way over cartoons of our beloved prophet(Peace be upon him) My mother keeps going on and on about the jews being Gods chosen people and when i ask her to explain she cant. They are really doing my head in!! :grumbling i have tried to sit down and explain islam to them but they just dont want to hear it. Now they think that all muslims are evil who plan to kill the "infidels". I just dont know what to do anymore.
I really dont know what to say, but i think you should still stay calm. If they dont want to listen to what you say to them, then give them da'wah through your actions.
Still stay kind to them, and you dont have to mention islam,christianity, judaism etc. too much. People even say actions speak louder than words, so if thats the case - use your actions to influence them instead insha Allaah.
Even if its something like cooking a meal for them, or smiling at them. Allaah subhanahu wa ta'aala has ordered you to be good to them, even if they make you associate partners with Allaah azawajal.
And We have enjoined man in respect of his parents-- his mother bears him with faintings upon faintings and his weaning takes two years-- saying: Be grateful to Me and to both your parents; to Me is the eventual coming. (31:15)
"But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to me (in love): in the end the return of you all is to Me, and I will tell you the truth (and meaning) of all that ye did." (31:16)
Remember that this is a test from Allaah subhanahu wa ta'aala and that :
Surely with difficulty is ease. (94:5)
Verily, with every difficulty there is relief. (94:6)
..and be patient and persevering: For Allah is with those who patiently persevere. (8:46)
Remember that dua' plays a big role in your da'wah too, and praying for their guidance is permissible. So you should do that too insha Allaah..
wa Allaahu a'lam.
Last edited by - Qatada -; 02-07-2006 at 11:50 AM.
Hopefully someone from this forum can post some ayat(s) from the Qu'ran to help you deal with your current situation. My advive to you is to carry on your path and pray for to Allah (swt) to keep you strong in imaan and your parents to understand islam. The problem i think is education for your parents, have they ever read the qu'ran??
its abit sad to see how Islam comes across to the non belivers and i think all this media really puts a bad image of islam in their minds.
I do not know how to make out a few words that would assuage your tribulations. You have to admit that all the people who call them Muslims have neither known Islam nor accepted it. They need a religious identity for worldly purpose and they use the terms 'Muslim" and 'Islam" historically even if their forefathers might be true Muslims. Thus, a large number of the present day Muslims are fakes and many others are perverted or misguided to violence.They are, in fact, real enemy of Islam; they are the wolves donned in mask of Islam. Since your parents have not yet read the Quran and the Hadith, they are not able to understand the real Islam and its beauty. You may try to make your parents understand very politely that their anger has emerged from the violence of the so-called fake/misguided Muslims who have neither known Islam nor accepted it. But never argue with them when they are angry or reluctant to listen to you. In such situation, you must have patience not to show counter anger nor misbehave with them. You may,on the contrary, show that you really love them very much; and actually you have to irrespective of their faith. If they ask you to do anything that is tantamount to associating partners with Allah, humbly disobey without arguing. Never cast any hot word towards them. Develop a habit that you will pay no heed to any harsh words of your parents. Instead, the harsher they are towards you, the more respectful and loving you will be towards them. At the same time be more mindful to your salah. This you will do for the pleasure of Allah as your divine duty. Surely Allah's help will be with you, as He has declared: "O’ You who believe! Seek My help with patience and prayer: surely, Allah is with those who are patient."[2:153]
It is also necessary to tell you that it might be Allah's test for you, as he has said: "We shall surely test your steadfastness with fear and famine, with loss of property, life and produce. Give good news to those who endure with patience who, when afflicted with calamity, say: 'We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return.' Such are the people on whom there are blessings and Mercy from Allah; and they are the ones that are rightly guided.[2:155-157]
Don't get disheartened and apply silence and patience.
I just want to say jazakallah khair for all of your advice. My parents told me that at this present moment they do nat want to discuss islam with me at all so for the time being i have just left it at that.
Just pray for their guidance to Allah and be patient. Remember its Allah who guide hearts and no one can lead those whom Allah have guided astray and those who have gone astray, there's no one who can guide their hearts except Allah. And es as Bro Fi Sabilillah said, make your actions reflect Islam. Perhaps this can change their conception about Islam. :brother:
I turn 2 U ma hrt ful of Shame n ma Eyes ful of Tears.....
I just want to say jazakallah khair for all of your advice. My parents told me that at this present moment they do nat want to discuss islam with me at all so for the time being i have just left it at that.
Yes ! That is wise for you at the moment. Keep on your duty to God and to your parents in the way ordained by Him. Maybe your parents will soon show kindly interrest in your reversion to Islam. If not, do not loose heart, nor hurt them in any way. You shall have to live upto whatever oddities come in your way.
May Allah help you in overcoming the tribulations and winning the hearts of your parents !
Mere hope may not suffice in this case. We should supplicate for her, as the Prophet(pbhu) said: "The supplication of a Muslim for his brother (in Islam) in his absence is readily accepted. An angel is appointed to his side. Whenever he makes a beneficial supplication for his brother the appointed angel says, 'Aameen !' And may you also be blessed with the same.'" [Sahih Muslim]
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