Why won't Traditional Jews shake the hand of a member of the opposite sex?

**therebbe** · 10-10-2006

Something as a Jew you can run into a lot, and this is a good explanantion:

The Torah forbids any "endearing" contact (as opposed to doctor visits, manicures, etc.) between members of the opposite sex who are not married or related to each other. The reason for this is obvious. Everyone knows where an "innocent" touch can lead; the Torah is merely protecting us from our own impulses.

Now, what kind of touch is considered endearing and what touch is merely a formality? This is debatable. If you will tell me that a handshake is only "business" and has no endearing connotation -- how about a peck on the cheek or a hug? In other words, allowing one form of contact will inevitably lead to someone else lowering the bar a bit more, etc.

**DigitalStorm82** · 10-10-2006

Couldn't agree with you more

**therebbe** · 10-10-2006

Originally Posted by DigitalStorm82

Couldn't agree with you more

Thanks.

It becomes something tough to explain to people sometimes.

**duskiness** · 10-10-2006

of course i don't agree but...i have to respect it

i think that refusing to shake hands leaves some bad feelings. i'm simply used to rule, that you refuse to shake hands only with those whos behaviour broke ALL moral limits.
so i would feel like being put by you to this group. Although i would know why you do this.
n.

**Malaikah** · 10-11-2006

Thats cool... so jews arent meant to have contact with members of the opposite gender? what about talking to them and hanging out with them?

its weird because i know some jews and they dont seem to mind touching members of the opposite gender

**Trumble** · 10-11-2006

Originally Posted by duskiness

of course i don't agree but...i have to respect it

I can't, I'm afraid.

Everyone knows where an "innocent" touch can lead; the Torah is merely protecting us from our own impulses

An "innocent touch" leads nowhere... unless both parties want it to, in which case who needs 'protection' from what? The answer is protection against doing what other people think you shouldn't be doing. They should mind their own business, and look to their own 'impure' thoughts rather than worrying about what others do.

**therebbe** · 10-11-2006

its weird because i know some jews and they dont seem to mind touching members of the opposite gender

There not very traditional then. More liberal views I suppose.

An "innocent touch" leads nowhere... unless both parties want it to, in which case who needs 'protection' from what? The answer is protection against doing what other people think you shouldn't be doing. They should mind their own business, and look to their own 'impure' thoughts rather than worrying about what others do.

That can be seen as untrue. Look to see how many kids in a regular secular class have pre-marital sex compared to a Traditionl Jewish school. It is because the regulations put on sexual contact between the genders. Especially when hormones are going nuts for youth.

**wilberhum** · 10-11-2006

Look to see how many kids in a regular secular class have pre-marital sex compared to a Traditionl Jewish school. It is because the regulations put on sexual contact between the genders. Especially when hormones are going nuts for youth.

Is that an opinion or do you have stats?
It is my opinion that when I was in a Catholic school there was less sex than in the public school.
Yet there was no restriction about shaking hands or anything else so restrictive.

**therebbe** · 10-11-2006

I went to a Yeshiva (Jewish school). There was no, and I mean 0% cases of pre-marital sex. It just did not happen.

**جوري** · 10-11-2006

guess it all depends on how seriousely you take your religion... I too went to an all girls catholic school and have never seen so many knocked up 14 year olds under one roof... In judiasm and Islam it is hardly noticeable... I am not saying it doesn't happen... but the odds are substantially less than those of christians... I always wondered why the church was so allowing?

Religion is a serious thing... it is all or none...Laws aren't made to make your life difficult... it is to prevent social and moral problems further down the line... where do you draw the lines?
With religion the lines are already drawn for you...... all you have to do is adhere.........

**north_malaysian** · 10-12-2006

Originally Posted by therebbe

I went to a Yeshiva (Jewish school). There was no, and I mean 0% cases of pre-marital sex. It just did not happen.

your school must be highly-disciplined then....

**Trumble** · 10-12-2006

Originally Posted by therebbe

That can be seen as untrue. Look to see how many kids in a regular secular class have pre-marital sex compared to a Traditionl Jewish school. It is because the regulations put on sexual contact between the genders. Especially when hormones are going nuts for youth.

How on earth do you know it has anything to do with those regulations? It might well be that just being in a "traditional Jewish school" explains the difference in behaviour whether they are allowed to touch or not. Likewise, you could introduce the same rules into a secular school and they might make no difference whatsoever.

**therebbe** · 10-13-2006

you could introduce the same rules into a secular school and they might make no difference whatsoever.

But secular students would defy the laws because the society they grow up in encourages them to become "boyfriends" and "girlfriends" and that pre-marital sex is not bad. What seperates the Traditional Jews and Secualr students is the laws of the society they grow up in. One of those laws being not aloud to shake hands with opposite sex.