Hi Just wondering - how do potential reverts find spouses??? i would like to hear from reverts who have found a spouse and how it came about? how they met?
It seems it would be harder for reverts to find a spouse or get the word out there that they are seeking one.
I suppose its the same way anyone would find a spouse really. Either go to a family member and request them to find someone (which is unlikely for a revert) or go to a mosque or masjid and ask the imam/alim if he might know of a good family.
Peace
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My tears testify that i have a heart
yet i feel me and shaytan never part
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its just i feel like (once i do revert) that it would be an alienating experience and so how would u ever meet potential spouses. I guess time will tell.
its just i feel like (once i do revert) that it would be an alienating experience and so how would u ever meet potential spouses. I guess time will tell.
Yes, trust me, it can be so hard, specially if your family is against you being muslim.
Anyhow, you can just speak to some sisters and they speak to their husbands and so on. I think in some ways it might be easier for a sister because sisters are close like that, I mean I'm well embarased to ask anyone to find me a wife lol. Though I have been told that if I see a sister, I can just ask her if she might be interested in talks and get her wali's number, but then again, I'd be embarassed to do that too!
The path is long but I hope we meet,
After the grave and the Day, in paradise in bliss upon a reclined seat.
A traveler traveling - travelled from shirk to tawheed,
If I'm remembered for anything - let it be the Mercy I seek.
i wouldnt really worry about it too much sister. inshAllah this is a small thing. Its important for you to accept Islam and not worry about such trivial details. Allah will, inshAllah, provide you with a pious husband....and that is not ur worry, but Allah's as He provides the best for the best of His followers.
Things take time........I ho;e you do accept Islam inshAllah
Thank you guys, i do want to revert but i just find it hard at the moment to change my lifestyle though i have implemented a few things already.... however the major things im finding difficult - i know once i revert i will be all alone (my friends that arent muslim) will desert me and not sure how family will take it (not good anyways) and the muslim friends i have a guys so there out too and ill be all alone and thats the scary part for me. I dont like being alone - it depresses me and just thinking ahead to finding a husband it just seemed impossible.
Thank you guys, i do want to revert but i just find it hard at the moment to change my lifestyle though i have implemented a few things already.... however the major things im finding difficult - i know once i revert i will be all alone (my friends that arent muslim) will desert me and not sure how family will take it (not good anyways) and the muslim friends i have a guys so there out too and ill be all alone and thats the scary part for me. I dont like being alone - it depresses me and just thinking ahead to finding a husband it just seemed impossible.
I don't know how you came to Islaam, and what your personal views of Islam were 10 years ago or so, for me, when I was about 15, I was in the school playground making fun on muslims and muslim prayer, and debating that I dont need to follow ONE man when I have so many Bible authors and so on.
Noone ever saw me becoming Muslim, things switch around quick, we just need to do the right thing then, sooner or later there will be a smile on our face, I don't know if you've read some posts but, trust me it is upsetting, I havent been close to my own family, but when I told my mum I was muslim, it was one of the worst days of my life, my little brother cried (although he alraedy knew) and I cried and my mum cried, and she cried, as if I had died, as if she had just been told I had died, and it doesn't stop, question after question, tear after tear, people say 'Muslim converts got it easy, when a Muslim tries to leave Islaam to Christianity they get stoned and so on' But trust me, there are times when the words of Mary, "Oh, would that I had died before this, and had been a thing quite forgotten!" ring so much truth, where seeing the pain of those you love, I wish I had become Muslim and died, because it hurts to know that the woman that carried me is now being caused pain because of me.
This is why I say have a strong base for your faith, I know people who have crumbled to their families, to the point that a Muslim guy, wanted to get baptised because his family was making him feel so bad.
At times when I do feel down, I remember the truth of Islaam, the proof of Islaam. And I know to myself that no matter how painful I cant give up truth because of some emotional feelings.
Don't feel that your alone in your worries and problems.
Eesa.
The path is long but I hope we meet,
After the grave and the Day, in paradise in bliss upon a reclined seat.
A traveler traveling - travelled from shirk to tawheed,
If I'm remembered for anything - let it be the Mercy I seek.
Thank you guys, i do want to revert but i just find it hard at the moment to change my lifestyle though i have implemented a few things already.... however the major things im finding difficult - i know once i revert i will be all alone (my friends that arent muslim) will desert me and not sure how family will take it (not good anyways) and the muslim friends i have a guys so there out too and ill be all alone and thats the scary part for me. I dont like being alone - it depresses me and just thinking ahead to finding a husband it just seemed impossible.
Peace be upon you,
Sister mashaAllah after all this your still considering reverting, that is something great ! Inspirational infact !
Did you know during the life of the prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) something exactly the same occured :eek:. It was a jew who was reverting to Al-Islam and he came up to the prophet saws and told him just what you said, the VERY same, and guess what, AYYAT (revelation) was revealed, subhanAllah, the gist of it was that, DO not fear the isolation of others, because once your muslim, Allah will be your friend, the Mu'mins (true believers) will be your friends, and all those true in islam will be your friends !
I hope you make the right choice, and i know because before i started practising i didnt have the best of companionship, now that i practise Alhamdulillaah the very sight of my brothers warms my heart.
Peace !
-
My tears testify that i have a heart
yet i feel me and shaytan never part
-
Thanks Brother - it is encouraging to hear other ppl's struggles and triumphs. With me though i never made fun as such of muslims but i did discriminate such as when i was younger solely based on what parents and family and friends tell you. I was always advised to stay away from muslims and my former inlaws used too make fun of the women wearing hijab - i never agreed with this mocking even then but i never said anything to stop them either.
I always found ppl around me mainly family and especially former inlaws so hypocritical that they originally were born and bred in a muslim country (iran) and can in the same sentence tell you how lovely ppl were back home and then turn around and say muslims/ islam are bad and mock and say stay away.
I never liked this from begining but i must admit i was a fence sitter and cause i didnt know any muslims at that stage there wasnt much to say just didnt like the hypocrisy. (my ex fatherinlaw was the worst offender he would make fun of the islam but when needed he would say to a shopkeeper (who is muslim) "we r brothers" and go on to talk about Ishmael and Isaac just to get a discount).
But since God has shown me the right path i find i keep looking at the women wearing hijab with so much more respect and wondering if i ever can have the strength to wear one. I have noticed though there is a such a beautiful peaceful elegance about them.
Once my muslim guy friends and i went to dinner at a indian restuarnt and there was a muslim couple dining there too. The wife was a revert as she was clearly anglo(australian) in features. She looked so beautiful and elegant and the husband who had a beard (i normally wouldve thought just makes the guy look messy and mean) well he looked so calm and at peace and paying attention to only his wife it was so beautiful..... and thats the first time i remember really seeing (and i mean seeing not judging or assuming or not paying attention) a practising muslim couple interact and they looked so in love and that moment changed my idea and my opinion of Islam (though i had started a researching at this stage - i was not contemplating Islam yet)
I remember discussing this couple with my friends and they explained to me how my previous biases never gave islam a chance and something about this couple spoke to me ---- i really wished at that moment i had what she did.
Inshaallah i will some day.
thank you brother IbnAbdulHakim - that brought a tear to my eye - it meant so much cause i know deep down its the truth. I will do my best to continue as i have been. thank you
But since God has shown me the right path i find i keep looking at the women wearing hijab with so much more respect and wondering if i ever can have the strength to wear one. I have noticed though there is a such a beautiful peaceful elegance about them.
Trust me, theres not much to it, for me, am a guy, and I started wearing a 'thobe' a long type of dress thing that covers the body, I wore it everywhere college and so on but had to make sure mum didnt see me in one.
Anyhow, its hard becuase I guess people dont expect it, specially from a man, so yea you get stares and get looked at, but then, after a while its so natural, and so nice, and I dont know how to say it, because it will sound negative, but its like a barrier, but not against the community, but against the bad parts of community, girls wouldnt talk to me and so on, I mean I still helped the old and they smiled and were happy but I mean it makes it easier to escape sometimes, being on a bus, you feel like you have your own space and that is so relaxing!!
inshaAllah when im allowed ill wear them again.
The path is long but I hope we meet,
After the grave and the Day, in paradise in bliss upon a reclined seat.
A traveler traveling - travelled from shirk to tawheed,
If I'm remembered for anything - let it be the Mercy I seek.
LOL @ brother IbnAbdulHakim ..... but its true it does and did work (on me at least)
And brother IsaAbdullah i agree with everything u said - but sometimes i wish i could move to another area from were my parents are so once i do revert i can practise it freely without hiding or changing. But i guess you cant have everything easy.
Once you have establish Tawheed (Islamic Monotheism) in your heart then you will want to strive for Islam and acts such Hijab, prayer will full into place for you. Learn about Allah, His names, Attributes etc because once to have established this love for Allah then you will never feel alone. Allah is our All-Merciful, All-Forgiving, All-Hearing, All-Knowing etc it is He who will guard you and provide for you.
Once someone recognises the truth Satan sits in their path and reminds them off all these problems they will face all though they may not! So you have to be aware of Satan and his tricks Insha Allah (God-willing) don’t worry about what will happen etc think about now and if you were to depart from this world? What will be your condition etc.
Read the stories of the Sahabah (companions of the Prophet pbuh ) and the Life of the Prophet pbuh. How they were abused and mocked and even killed!
When you revert Insha Allah you'll find sisters whom are willing to help you- willing to share their food with you, their clothes etc
LOL @ brother IbnAbdulHakim ..... but its true it does and did work (on me at least)
And brother IsaAbdullah i agree with everything u said - but sometimes i wish i could move to another area from were my parents are so once i do revert i can practise it freely without hiding or changing. But i guess you cant have everything easy.
Trust me! I know exactly the feeling, I wish I could move out, have my own place so I can pray when I want, and so on, trust me so much I feel exactly the same, but we need to be strong, something that makes me stronger is hearing the verses of IBRAHIM, Abraham, peace be upon him, who spoke to his father, I urge you to listen to a reciation of these:
19:41
And make mention (O Muhammad) in the Scripture of Abraham. Lo! he was a saint, a prophet.
19:42
When he said unto his father: O my father! Why worshippest thou that which heareth not nor seeth, nor can in aught avail thee?
19:43
O my father! Lo! there hath come unto me of knowledge that which came not unto thee. So follow me, and I will lead thee on a right path.
19:44
O my father! Serve not the devil. Lo! the devil is a rebel unto the Beneficent.
19:45
O my father! Lo! I fear lest a punishment from the Beneficent overtake thee so that thou become a comrade of the devil.
19:46 He said: Rejectest thou my gods, O Abraham? If thou cease not, I shall surely stone thee. Depart from me a long while!
This is what Abraham had to put up with, imagine that, our parents telling us that they will stone us, :confused:
But yes, I do agree if we moved another place it would make things alot easier, but we cant run away all our lives.
The path is long but I hope we meet,
After the grave and the Day, in paradise in bliss upon a reclined seat.
A traveler traveling - travelled from shirk to tawheed,
If I'm remembered for anything - let it be the Mercy I seek.
Thats so true sis - the few sisters i have talked too Online have been so helpful and warm. and in regards to Allah i do love Allah - though coming from christianity (catholic) i used to feel more closer to Jesus and especially Mary. I used to ask for help and guidance from them. Towards the time i started to research religion i was so confused about who i should pray too cause most of time i was praying to jesus or mary in my mind though i was saying allah (even though i was christian we still call him allah too )
Thinking back i think it was cause in church u have statues of jesus and mary and u can identify with them easier. But once i read about islam - monotheism i accepted readily but it took some time to understand jesus and mary roles within islam - that was hard but now Allah has opened my heart and i accept it fully without question what their roles actually were.
Now i feel i have to reconnect with Allah direct and i do miss praying- i feel closer when i do - its just cause im in limbo at the moment i havent been able to pray ... i mean how? which way? im not revert yet?
Now i feel i have to reconnect with Allah direct and i do miss praying- i feel closer when i do - its just cause im in limbo at the moment i havent been able to pray ... i mean how? which way? im not revert yet?
Just talk to him, what do you know about Him? He's the one that created you, so speak to Him, tell Him, 'Oh G-d I know you created me annd have granted me knowledge' reflect on all the good you have and just talk to him like you would normally, I know alot of reverts who before Islam actually used to postrate, and bow down, it is so relaxing to do that, feels like nothin else matters and that you have a never ending appointment with Him.
Read about Him in his book, tell Him passages that you liked, use those passages when you speak to him to ask for stuff and thank Him.#
Am so glad you have come to this forum, you've made me love God even more, its so amazing
The path is long but I hope we meet,
After the grave and the Day, in paradise in bliss upon a reclined seat.
A traveler traveling - travelled from shirk to tawheed,
If I'm remembered for anything - let it be the Mercy I seek.
Thats so true brother IsaAbdullah - so true. all im saying to myself is one step at a time , slowly slowly - just as islam has reached me - i can reach them. I honestly dont see them reverting though - which will be hard to deal with - how do u deal with it brother?
Thats so true brother IsaAbdullah - so true. all im saying to myself is one step at a time , slowly slowly - just as islam has reached me - i can reach them. I honestly dont see them reverting though - which will be hard to deal with - how do u deal with it brother?
Erm, well as I said, Im pretty distant from my family, I've never kinda fitted in with them, so maybe that makes things easier on me.
I dont know what you mean by deal with it, deal with praying and so on or deal with them possibly going to hell?
The path is long but I hope we meet,
After the grave and the Day, in paradise in bliss upon a reclined seat.
A traveler traveling - travelled from shirk to tawheed,
If I'm remembered for anything - let it be the Mercy I seek.
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and it doesn't stop, question after question, tear after tear, people say 'Muslim converts got it easy, when a Muslim tries to leave Islaam to Christianity they get stoned and so on' But trust me, there are times when the words of Mary, "Oh, would that I had died before this, and had been a thing quite forgotten!" ring so much truth, where seeing the pain of those you love, I wish I had become Muslim and died, because it hurts to know that the woman that carried me is now being caused pain because of me.
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