21st Marriage

[xboxisdead]

what do you expect to give up like the red pillers? Muslims dont do that - we carry on and try to hold up with the Quran and sunnah even when things are tough and going astray.

hehe! That is what I said We need to follow the Quran and Sunnah ;D.

Wait a minute!? You are saying sponsoring a child to live under your roof and you taking care of him and raising him well and sacrificing your own desires is not a hero? I am missing something ^o)

P.S "Brother, you erm...made a typo :embarrass. You typed "warship" instead of "worship"."

 

[AbuAsiyah]

"Allah does not like the public mention of evil except by one who has been wronged. And ever is Allah Hearing and Knowing." (an-Nisa: 148)

As far as the evil tendencies of men and women are concerned, then I remember a statement of the Prophet :saws1: where he said something along the lines of beware of the oppression of men and the beguilement of women. I can't seem to find the hadith anywhere. If someone could find the hadith for me and post it I would be very appreciative.


​

 

[eesa the kiwi]

Asalamu alaikum rahmatulah wa barakatu


It was narrated from Aishah that:
the Messenger of Allah said: “Marriage is part of my sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to do with me. Get married, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him get married, and whoever does not, then he should fast for it will diminish his desire.”
حَدَّثَنَا أَحْمَدُ بْنُ الأَزْهَرِ، حَدَّثَنَا آدَمُ، حَدَّثَنَا عِيسَى بْنُ مَيْمُونٍ، عَنِ الْقَاسِمِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ ‏ "‏ النِّكَاحُ مِنْ سُنَّتِي فَمَنْ لَمْ يَعْمَلْ بِسُنَّتِي فَلَيْسَ مِنِّي وَتَزَوَّجُوا فَإِنِّي مُكَاثِرٌ بِكُمُ الأُمَمَ وَمَنْ كَانَ ذَا طَوْلٍ فَلْيَنْكِحْ وَمَنْ لَمْ يَجِدْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصِّيَامِ فَإِنَّ الصَّوْمَ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ ‏"‏ ‏.‏
Grade : Hasan (Darussalam)

 

[xboxisdead]

Asalamu alaikum rahmatulah wa barakatu


It was narrated from Aishah that:
the Messenger of Allah said: “Marriage is part of my sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to do with me. Get married, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him get married, and whoever does not, then he should fast for it will diminish his desire.”
حَدَّثَنَا أَحْمَدُ بْنُ الأَزْهَرِ، حَدَّثَنَا آدَمُ، حَدَّثَنَا عِيسَى بْنُ مَيْمُونٍ، عَنِ الْقَاسِمِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ ‏ "‏ النِّكَاحُ مِنْ سُنَّتِي فَمَنْ لَمْ يَعْمَلْ بِسُنَّتِي فَلَيْسَ مِنِّي وَتَزَوَّجُوا فَإِنِّي مُكَاثِرٌ بِكُمُ الأُمَمَ وَمَنْ كَانَ ذَا طَوْلٍ فَلْيَنْكِحْ وَمَنْ لَمْ يَجِدْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصِّيَامِ فَإِنَّ الصَّوْمَ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ ‏"‏ ‏.‏
Grade : Hasan (Darussalam)

Look at these stats my friend obtain from the comment posted under this youtube video:

"As per National Crime Records Bureau, 90% or more Domestic Violence cases/complaints in India are turning out to be false. Same is the case of Rape/Molestation/Harassment cases. Few examples of women misusing the law for their own benefit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rohtak_sisters_viral_video_controversy https://www.firstpost.com/india/tim...ll-media-houses-should-take-note-2677810.html

The laws are so biased that misuse of the same has become a trend. Men suffer a lot - they are disowned by friends and relatives, lose their livelihood, are humiliated, etc. There has been cases where the man turned out to be innocent after 20 years of suffering. And the problem is, there is no provision to give any kind of compensation to the man and the woman who has misused laws, walks away scotfree.

1. Break-up from live-in relation - The woman may accuse the man of rape.
2. Break-up from live-in relation - Legally and technically, your partner is your wife.
3. The man files for divorce - He is accused of mental harassment
4. The man finds his wife cheating - There is no law to punish her. Instead she files a domestic violence complaint
5. You fire your maid - She files, rape complaint
6. You give feedback to your employee for underperformance - She files a sexual harassment complaint
7. Marry rich man, get him murdered. Take his money, property and insurance money. These are just a few scenarios, there are tons more. Advise - Be very careful and smart while dealing with women. And Indian women are the worst."

 

[eesa the kiwi]

Look at these stats my friend obtain from the comment posted under this youtube video:

"As per National Crime Records Bureau, 90% or more Domestic Violence cases/complaints in India are turning out to be false. Same is the case of Rape/Molestation/Harassment cases. Few examples of women misusing the law for their own benefit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rohtak_sisters_viral_video_controversy https://www.firstpost.com/india/tim...ll-media-houses-should-take-note-2677810.html

The laws are so biased that misuse of the same has become a trend. Men suffer a lot - they are disowned by friends and relatives, lose their livelihood, are humiliated, etc. There has been cases where the man turned out to be innocent after 20 years of suffering. And the problem is, there is no provision to give any kind of compensation to the man and the woman who has misused laws, walks away scotfree.

1. Break-up from live-in relation - The woman may accuse the man of rape.
2. Break-up from live-in relation - Legally and technically, your partner is your wife.
3. The man files for divorce - He is accused of mental harassment
4. The man finds his wife cheating - There is no law to punish her. Instead she files a domestic violence complaint
5. You fire your maid - She files, rape complaint
6. You give feedback to your employee for underperformance - She files a sexual harassment complaint
7. Marry rich man, get him murdered. Take his money, property and insurance money. These are just a few scenarios, there are tons more. Advise - Be very careful and smart while dealing with women. And Indian women are the worst."

I give you a hadith from rasulullah sallaho wa sallam and you give me this nonsense

What is wrong with you?

 

[xboxisdead]

I give you a hadith from rasulullah sallaho wa sallam and you give me this nonsense

What is wrong with you?

I read the ahadeth and I believe in it and it is beautiful, no question about it. But I want us men to be smart when entering marriage and know it is not unicorn or ramboe. When you see video like these I am hoping we don't jump into marriage under the name of love, nor under she is pretty and diffidently not under through hormones. Nowadays marriage is infested with Fitna way worse than what it was in the day of the prophets. Nowadays the evil and fitna is worse and laws here are different than how it was in the day of prophets. So men have to becareful when entering marriage and make sure he can protect himself 100% just in case it goes haywire. However, I believe 100% in that ahadeth and I do want to complete half my deen but it is hard for me to do it when there is so much fitnah and my sanity is at risk. I love my sanity and I am emotional guy...these two combinations goes against me if I live in such laws like this where it gives ammunition for any evil woman to use the law against me. I get defensive fast and I get emotional and raise my voice when I talk defensive...all of these are weakness and ammunition for any wife to say, "My husband is verbally abusing to me.". A risk I am terrified to be at.

However, isn't there an aheedth that says if there is fitna in marriage do not get married? I am just curious. I am only asking because I want closure on this and not die thinking that there is such ahadeeth.

 

[AbuAsiyah]

I read the ahadeth and I believe in it and it is beautiful, no question about it. But I want us men to be smart when entering marriage and know it is not unicorn or ramboe. When you see video like these I am hoping we don't jump into marriage under the name of love, nor under she is pretty and diffidently not under through hormones. Nowadays marriage is infested with Fitna way worse than what it was in the day of the prophets. Nowadays the evil and fitna is worse and laws here are different than how it was in the day of prophets. So men have to becareful when entering marriage and make sure he can protect himself 100% just in case it goes haywire. However, I believe 100% in that ahadeth and I do want to complete half my deen but it is hard for me to do it when there is so much fitnah and my sanity is at risk. I love my sanity and I am emotional guy...these two combinations goes against me if I live in such laws like this where it gives ammunition for any evil woman to use the law against me. I get defensive fast and I get emotional and raise my voice when I talk defensive...all of these are weakness and ammunition for any wife to say, "My husband is verbally abusing to me.". A risk I am terrified to be at.

However, isn't there an aheedth that says if there is fitna in marriage do not get married? I am just curious. I am only asking because I want closure on this and not die thinking that there is such ahadeeth.

“A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Seek the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust. (Bukhari & Muslim)

Bro, my sincere, humble and firm advice for you or for any other Brother or Sister on this forum or anywhere in the world is to make a firm and determined intention that you will either marry someone whose deen is firm and sound or you do not marry at all.

I have seen enough failed marriages personally (I don't need statistics) and heard enough cases of people I know of personally of men who treat good women like garbage and crazy psycho women who are nothing but an overburdening misery for good men. I swear by Allah, it is better to be single and endure the hardship of celibacy and loneliness for a thousand years than to endure the constant company of some of these creatures who are nothing but a burden on their mates.

This is a rule of Dunya that we should all follow so that we can have both this world and the next:

Zaid ibn Thabit reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever makes the world his greatest concern, Allah will confound his affairs and make poverty appear before his eyes and he will not get anything from the world except what has been decreed for him. Whoever makes the Hereafter his most important matter, Allah will settle his affairs and make him content in his heart and the world will come to him although he does not want it.” (Ibn Mājah)

InshaAllah, if you take this attitude, Allah ('Azza wa Jal) Will Give you a good wife who will be a comfort for you, not a painful, tormenting burden.

Of course, it goes without saying, that you yourself, should work on being a good man so as to be a good catch for a good sister. But this is all part of making the Akhirah your main concern anyway.
Also, even in good women, you will find flaws, and there will be issues. And this is to be expected. Even the Prophet :saws1: had issues with his wives. But with a good woman it's manageable.

Allahu 'Alim

 

[xboxisdead]

“A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Seek the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust. (Bukhari & Muslim)

Bro, my sincere, humble and firm advice for you or for any other Brother or Sister on this forum or anywhere in the world is to make a firm and determined intention that you will either marry someone whose deen is firm and sound or you do not marry at all.

I have seen enough failed marriages personally (I don't need statistics) and heard enough cases of people I know of personally of men who treat good women like garbage and crazy psycho women who are nothing but an overburdening misery for good men. I swear by Allah, it is better to be single and endure the hardship of celibacy and loneliness for a thousand years than to endure the constant company of some of these creatures who are nothing but a burden on their mates.

This is a rule of Dunya that we should all follow so that we can have both this world and the next:

Zaid ibn Thabit reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever makes the world his greatest concern, Allah will confound his affairs and make poverty appear before his eyes and he will not get anything from the world except what has been decreed for him. Whoever makes the Hereafter his most important matter, Allah will settle his affairs and make him content in his heart and the world will come to him although he does not want it.” (Ibn Mājah)

InshaAllah, if you take this attitude, Allah ('Azza wa Jal) Will Give you a good wife who will be a comfort for you, not a painful, tormenting burden.

Of course, it goes without saying, that you yourself, should work on being a good man so as to be a good catch for a good sister. But this is all part of making the Akhirah your main concern anyway.
Also, even in good women, you will find flaws, and there will be issues. And this is to be expected. Even the Prophet :saws1: had issues with his wives. But with a good woman it's manageable.

Allahu 'Alim

THANK YOU!! Besides I do want a woman to have flaws....I do not want a perfect person :facepalm::facepalm: I really do not!! (Al-hamdolillah there is no such thing as a perfect person). Flawed person means human and this gives me a relief to allow me to be human (i.e, express my flaws). Mmmaaan that is the problem with marriages too! That someone is working hard to be perfect...(vomits on a bag) Noooo thanks!

I love what you typed there...I will take that as a model for my life ;D

By the way...by the way...by the way....this line in youtube proofs 100% in legit and full certainty that Islam is the ONE AND ONLY TRUE RELIGION WITHOUT ANY DOUBT AT ALL!!


This a comment in youtube, "
nightstalker1124
1 week ago
theres never been a large successful civilization ran by women "

which goes side by side with the prophet peace be upon him who DOES NOT SPEAKS in desires or whims but actually wait for the angel to send him the message and he speaks the message to the people with what he said in his famous ahadeeth.

 

[AbuAsiyah]

Besides I do want a woman to have flaws....I do not want a perfect person :facepalm::facepalm: I really do not!! (Al-hamdolillah there is no such thing as a perfect person). Flawed person means human and this gives me a relief to allow me to be human

Well, if you worship Allah alone, and you die as a Muslim (may Allah Make it so) then too bad bro because for the lowest man in Paradise is two wives who say "Praise be to Allah who Created you for us and Created us for you" (Muslim & Ahmed)

 

[xboxisdead]

Well, if you worship Allah alone, and you die as a Muslim (may Allah Make it so) then too bad bro because for the lowest man in Paradise is two wives who say "Praise be to Allah who Created you for us and Created us for you" (Muslim & Ahmed)

When you read my quote what did you exactly think I typed? Weird. Because all I said in that quote in this world I am not looking for a perfect wife.

 

[AbuAsiyah]

When you read my quote what did you exactly think I typed? Weird. Because all I said in that quote in this world I am not looking for a perfect wife.​

Just glad tidings Bro. As long as you stay Muslim then Allah Will grant you a perfect wife whether you like it or not (you'll like it inshaAllah)

And of course, absolute perfection belongs only to Allah

 

[AbuAsiyah]

What is your opinion concerning the above video?​

Assalaam 'Alaykum

Bro, these guys are losers. His statement, "There is no benefit in a man marrying a woman, ever" is nonsense and one of the callers saying he wanted to leave his wife and take all of her money because "she'd do it to me" is retarded. These type of men are low lives. Of course they can't find any good women. The only women who are going to go for them are going to be selfish, low-life losers like them. Do you think that any respectable woman would ever even allow herself to look in the direction of these idiots, let alone marry them?

“Corrupt women are for corrupt men, and corrupt men are for corrupt women. And good women are for good men, and good men are for good women…” (an-Noor: 26)

‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “I heard the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saying: ‘Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.’” (Bukhari)

Honestly, Akhi, I have been married now for about 8 years. She is good al-Hamdullilah because I followed the advice that I gave you earlier. Of course we have gotten into many fights (this is to be expected) but if you were to ask me when I was the most angry whether it was better for me to be married or single I would have told you married every time.

Just follow the rule of Dunya: Focus on your Akhira, work on your Akhlaq for the sake of Allah ('Azza wa Jal) and if and when a Sister comes around make Istikharah, investigate her and her family and go for it.

The Prophet (Salalahu 'Alaihi wa Salaam)said “Indeed, this world is no more than temporary joys, and there is no temporary joy of this world that is better than a righteous wife.” (Ibn Majah)

Regarding Ayyub ('Alaihis Salaam) after he went through his trial, Abu Hurairah narrates from the Prophet (Salalahu 'Alaihi wa Salaam) "When Allah healed Ayyub, He sent upon him a shower of golden locusts, and he started to pick them up and gather them in his garment. It was said to him, "O Ayyub, have you not had enough'' He said, "O Lord, who can ever have enough of Your mercy". (Bukhari & Muslim)

So if Allah ('Azza wa Jal) Sends you a Golden Locust (InshaAllah she will not look like a locust ) then you should be eager to pick it up and go for it inshaAllah.

And Again, don't marry unless she is good. A corrupt woman is nothing but misery. I don't care what she looks like.

And the Deen is Naseeha

Wa Allahu 'Alim