A Few Questions

[serenechaos]

In all humility, I come to ask for thoughts/counsel..

I took Shahadah about two years ago. I felt quite good, happy and going along. Since there was not a local masjid for some miles, I was for all intents on my own. I struggled with learning arabic on my own and with no other muslims face to face, it only seemed to get worse.

Since then, I have strayed..I have put on the mantle of three religions so far, all in the striving to hunger after God.. to truly find the path that was "it". I realize, it was quite intellectually arrogant, yet too, it has now in hindsight only made me appreciate Islam all the more now from having strayed and looked to others.

Now, I fear, I may have commited Shirk in praying to other things/deities besides Allah. Surely Allah is most merciful, yet can I be forgiven for leaving the Ummah, however briefly over the last year?

My main two problems were thus: learning arabic as a requirement. As a native english speaker, it is quite unlike my own language and has been quite the challenge, yet I feel I could overcome that. secondly, with the Salat in arabic..I always felt like I was just mindlessly lipping off lines. I did not feel like I was worshipping/honoring Allah in this. My times when I feel closest to Allah is in little times during the day, I just thank Allah for his many blessings and how thankful I am to be able to serve him and fellow humans. I was told, "it will come in time" yet after some 13 months or so from Shahadah, it never did. I know it is my fault, surely, yet I still have issues with it even now.

Two fold question then:

1) Despite my waywardness, truest sense of partnering things with Allah in a polytheistic religion if only for a few months, can the slate be made clean once more?

2) Can I not just try to learn Arabic more, over time, and at the prescribed times, pray to Allah in english in true fellowship and love with some basic one or two lines of arabic that I could add to over time perhaps?

All aide in this, is greatly appreciated.

 

['Abd al-Baari]

Assalamu Alaykum and Welcome to the Forums serenechaos,

Despite my waywardness, truest sense of partnering things with Allah in a polytheistic religion if only for a few months, can the slate be made clean once more?

Yes.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Say: O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful” [al-Zumar 39:53]

Allaah says, stating that He forgives the greatest of sins (Shirk-Worshipping other than Allah) (interpretation of the meaning):

“And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.

69. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace;

70. Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful” [al-Furqaan 25:68-70]

As the Ayaah states, do not despair of the mercy of Allaah, be true in your repenting, and Insha'Allah, you will be forgiven, and again as stated in the Ayaah, Allah will change the sins into good deeds.

Can I not just try to learn Arabic more, over time, and at the prescribed times, pray to Allah in english in true fellowship and love with some basic one or two lines of arabic that I could add to over time perhaps?

I'm going to research a bit into this, to make sure what i say is correct but i hope that these are some good links for you.

http://www.islamicboard.com/new-muslims/134266343-step-step-guide-prayer.html

http://www.islamicboard.com/new-muslims/134266343-step-step-guide-prayer.html#post952506

eace:

 

[TrueStranger]

"A man said: By Allah, Allah will not forgive So-and-so. At this Allah the Almighty said: Who is he who swears by Me that I will not forgive So-and-so? Verily I have forgiven So-and-so and have nullified your own good deeds (or as he said it)."


Tawbah, repenting to Allah is the first step, and insha'allah this will only increase your faith.

Tawbah, it is the second lecture on the page.

Sheikh Safi Khan of Dar-Us-Salam Presents the Benefits of Tawbah. Scholars interpret tawbah (repentance) to mean all of the following: (i) immediate renunciation of the sin, (ii) firm intention and determination to not return to the sin ever again, (iii) regret over having committed a sin, and, if the sin was against the rights of another human being, then one mast also, (iv) compensate for it.

http://kalamullah.com/lectures.html

I too am not an Arabic speaker, but at times I get emotional just listening to the Quran or praying, even thou i don't understand Arabic. It comes from the heart, and Allah does know what is in your heart.

When it comes to Salaat, the most important thing to remember is that you are standing in front of Allah, be true to Allah and Allah will be true to you. And it is a daily struggle that will only increase your faith and make it more firm. Insha'allah there will be a day when you will learn very step of prayer, but don't see the struggle you are going through now as something that isn't beneficial. But your trust in Allah.

I wish you all the best.