guiding-noor
New member
- Messages
- 8
- Reaction score
- 0

I've had a very unpleasing past and am doing my best to forget about it. I just wish Allah(SWT) guides me the right way. I always look down upon myself that i am a very bad Muslim. I am born Muslim but what bothers me the most is that i WAS not educated enough to be fully committed to my religion. Recently, my brother is following Islam very strictly and doing as much as he can to please Allah(SWT) which i am very proud of. He always shows me the right way but i still feel discouraged..like i am not good enough. Lately, he will look at the way i dress(which i personally think is not bad but i would not say it is PERFECT either) and say Astakhfurallh under his breath...this really hurts me because he should be thankful that he is a man and allowed to go outside and meet with his friends and within that learn Islam the RIGHT way but i have no Muslim friends that i can ask for advice and help..the school i go to have no Muslim sisters that i can be friends with...there is not a close by masjid....so i always feel like i am all alone. He tells me to wear the hijab...and even when i want to soooo bad..i just cant do it..i hope Allah(SWT) forgives me for this and gives me some time. Subhanallah i love my religion and only Allah(SWT) knows what goes through my heart for not fulfilling his commands but...i kind of dont blame myself because i was a little girl..and never taught on a regular basis. Now, i really want to commit myself to every aspect of my religion. I would say that what my weakest point is my dress code..hijab...and pretty much it. I pray as much as i can although i should boost it up which i am working on shukr.
Any help or advice will be very appreciated. I just wish i had a Muslim friend to talk to about these things..like someone who practices Islam the right way and fulfills every command themselves. Don't get me wrong i am very grateful but i just wish some things were different.