[tresbien]

i let you take the floor to express u opinion on this topic.
wa salam alaikum

 

[Muslim Woman]

i let you take the floor to express u opinion on this topic
wa salam alaikum

You want to discuss about all matters or any specific one like inheritance law , divorce etc ?

 

[tresbien]

What are the main issues that muslim women face nowadays.Whose to blame islam or customs made by the patriarchal society.Should men and women put on eqaul footing in all fields.Why good muslim women who turn to 40 or less are still single.Whose fault is and what are the causes .Does the rate of divorce which is on the increase put them off , Is it the lack of righteous men or merly the materialistic view that is the costly life that makes women afarid of marriage.Do you thaink that women have more opportunity to work rather than men?

 

[Muhaba]

One thing is not being able to find work while wearing hijab/niqab, not being allowed to work in women-only offices, etc. Like there are men even in women's schools even in muslim countries and a lot of time they want women to not wear niqab. Some even prefer hijabless women to work in their offices. One of my friends lost her job because she wore hijab, one couldn't get work in a primary school because of niqab even though the principal and most staff were women, because she insisted on wearing niqab infront of men in PTA meetings. Another school had male administration and preferred staff who didn't wear niqab, even though the female teachers taught only females. These issues need to be addressed. Why can't girls' schools/colleges have female administration? Why can't there be separate hospitals/clinics for women? If some Islamic banks in muslim countries can have women-only area where female clients go, why can't all do the same? What's strange is that men have to work with women, like institutes will have female staff so male teachers will have to work with females even if most of the students are males.

 

[kawaiigardiner]

What are the main issues that muslim women face nowadays.Whose to blame islam or customs made by the patriarchal society.Should men and women put on eqaul footing in all fields.Why good muslim women who turn to 40 or less are still single.Whose fault is and what are the causes .Does the rate of divorce which is on the increase put them off , Is it the lack of righteous men or merly the materialistic view that is the costly life that makes women afarid of marriage.Do you thaink that women have more opportunity to work rather than men?

You raised the very issue through your position regarding women and marriage:

Why good muslim women who turn to 40 or less are still single. Whose fault is and what are the causes.

Why is it negative if a women is single at 40? why is there a view that a women is only 'complete' if they are married? it sounds as though you're pushing your culture into Islam and making claim that your cultural outlook equals Islam.

 

[Salihah]

Why is it negative if a women is single at 40? why is there a view that a women is only 'complete' if they are married? it sounds as though you're pushing your culture into Islam and making claim that your cultural outlook equals Islam.

Salam.
I am also interested in some opinions concerning this topic.
Maybe kawaiigardiner understood something in a different way. Of course everyone has the right to stay alone, but I think it is human nature to be with someone and rise a family. Especially woman around 30 are thinking of giving birth to a child. At 40 the body is getting old. It is not that you aren't full human if you haven't married at 40. But most of the time you want to get married as a woman then it would be sad if you are still alone.

 

[kawaiigardiner]

Salam.
I am also interested in some opinions concerning this topic.
Maybe kawaiigardiner understood something in a different way. Of course everyone has the right to stay alone, but I think it is human nature to be with someone and rise a family. Especially woman around 30 are thinking of giving birth to a child. At 40 the body is getting old. It is not that you aren't full human if you haven't married at 40. But most of the time you want to get married as a woman then it would be sad if you are still alone.

I know of two female friends who never have had any desire of having kids of their own - each person is an individual so gross generalisations neither help the individual nor the community because of a perceived 'correct' path to which a person 'should' follow.

If you are living a life where the only 'true meaning of life' can be derived from having a family and children then too me that indicates a reliance on external factors for self identification - rather than addressing insecurities of the individual there is a desire to wipe away them by conforming to some ideal in lieu of confronting them.

Within the context of the Tanakh and Qur'an, the first purpose of a relationship is of personal development with children being merely a byproduct but not the purpose of a relationship.

To enter into a relationship for the sake of conformity is as equally as bad as having children for the sake of conformity.

 

[kawaiigardiner]

Within the context of the Tanakh and Qur'an, the first purpose of a relationship is of personal development with children being merely a byproduct but not the primary purpose of a relationship.

Just a small correction - to correct any misunderstanding.

 

[جوري]

Salam.
I am also interested in some opinions concerning this topic.
Maybe kawaiigardiner understood something in a different way. Of course everyone has the right to stay alone, but I think it is human nature to be with someone and rise a family. Especially woman around 30 are thinking of giving birth to a child. At 40 the body is getting old. It is not that you aren't full human if you haven't married at 40. But most of the time you want to get married as a woman then it would be sad if you are still alone.

I agree with your post (and I am a single woman 'not looking')
but no one wants to be alone really we are social beings. If you are still single and forty it can be for any number of reasons, if you haven't had children it can also be for any number of reasons, failed engagements, marriages, miscarriages, just not finding the one, potentials dying and/or breaking your heart in any number of ways etc. .. but I truly seldom find someone who is completely at peace not having a friend/champion/ significant other to go home to.. I think having a family unit is one of the meta and very significant needs that we'd like to have fulfilled in our lifetime

I knew one oriental lady who in her teens into twenties really wanted to undergo a sterilizing procedure as she was adamant not to have children, and she had to shop around for doctors quite a bit to find someone to perform a would be irreversible procedure.. people change their minds all the time.. seldom do people go with their teenage attitudes and ideals into their adult life.

Nothing is wrong with being single and unmarried at forty, ideally people would like to be.. and nothing wrong with having babies at any stage in life, so long as one is aware of their chances of conception and complications/defects etc.

I think the issues that face Muslim women really from my perspective are balancing religion/culture/family/career/friends and manage it without living in woefully compartmentalized world never being able to fully espouse and reconcile any of them. I think depression is also quite prevalent amongst Muslim women and I think many of them feel that it is a religious failing on their part, when in fact it is a chemical imbalance that can be compounded by bad living conditions and inability to adjust to their circumstances ...

my two cents..

 

[tresbien]

Why is it negative if a women is single at 40? why is there a view that a women is only 'complete' if they are married? it sounds as though you're pushing your culture into Islam and making claim that your cultural outlook equals Islam.My sisters
Conjuctre is a sin.My model is our prophet may peace be upon him.Moreover,one should be proud of having such a great man and Quran as a guide that enlighten our lives and bring us from insecurity to security and from instability and fear to peace of thought.I assure you that i studied Engish Literature at the university but it has not impact on me nor inflence on me.Many feminists and novelists if u read their writings or works u will notice that they are against customs that dictate the role of two sexes and place women in subordinate position ,on the other hand, Islam has raised the status of women and ensured their rights.I am filled with bitterness when i see good muslim women getting married with someone who is not committed to the teaching of islam because only he is rich or has the means.Some say athough he drinks or smoke or even does not pray i will marry him to guide him. she ends up ,however in unhappy life .She suffers from his indecencies and illtreatment .Other women say we will study ,which is good ,achieve self dependence and later we will get married.But after they achieve their ambitions they realise it is late to stipulate.Had we followed our prophet advices , we would not have had gone through that sitation or that phenomenon.