Advice please :(

[AnonymousPoster]

salaams

ok heres the thing, I kinda liked this guy, but we never really acted on anything lwe knew each other but to prevent something really haraam from happening we kept in touch via the phone and the net, which was convenient, i mean he lived in another city anyhow.This went on for nearly 2 years. We met up a few times, but that was it. Enough to decide that we really liked each other.



He eventually told his parents that he wanted to marry me. However, they wouldn't have any of it because i'm Pakistani and hes Indian. His mom was emotionally blackmailing him etc and crying, saying stuff like 'how could u do this to us etc etc' and 'if u choose her u cant live here anymore...'

WTH im still muslim ..wth was she on..:raging:

Anyhow we eventually ended 'it' after much much heart ache.
But the thing is after that month long break, we got in contact again and now hes telling me his family cant find him a decent girl...

well its probably because they're too picky anyways. But the reason why i'm posting this is that I feel so much anger towards them. I don't know if its normal to feel this..:s

i just totally hate them for screwing me over like that and refusing me on the nationality of my parents. Everything else was a tick in the box, except nationality.

They really upset me for doing that and now i almost feel they're paying for their words and actions, by being stuck in a rut with the whole proposal thing.

Is it wrong of me to hate them so much?

We were two compatible young ppl trying to move on with life and live in the halaal way and they stopped that for a stupid reason. Will Allah swt take my side on this?

How do I get over this. I get extremely vexed just thinking about them :s

 

[Kittygyal]

Assalamualikum

Swiftly move on. Love does hurt, it aint easy to find a good couple these days... May Allaah guide us all amin

Ma'assalama

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

u like the dude yeah? then try understand that he was under pressure, if he made a mistake forgive him.

if your strong you can get over this, strength is holding back anger...


assalamu alaikum

 

[Talib_Rayhan]

My heart goes out to you Sister

I have a friend who is a British Muslim convert who wants to marry a Sister who's parents are from Bangladesh, To cut a long story short, He has had the same response you had, and has also had to 'call it off'...

Personally, I dont think its fair, Life isnt fair though, The only advice I can give you is to either move on and understand that life will not always go the way that we want, or (and I dont mean this as any disrepsect to parents involved), Become independant, Then decisions are made between a couple rather than who that couple rely on.

I dont know much about marriage in Islam, I do know we have to respect parents, but i also know we have to make our own way in life, If you and your chosen partner can find a way to marry without causing too much disruption in both your families, Id tell you to go for it... But thats just my opinion, Insha'Allah you will get through your trial and come out the other side happy with your decisions...

Peace and blessings

Talib

 

[Umm Hurairah]

Asalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu,

This makes me so mad! Just because of your culture! Goodness! Seriously man!


Be patient Insha Allah. Have you offered istikhara prayer? If not, then you should do it A.S.A.P.!

If the istikhara is positive then Insha Allah make tons of duaa and tell the dude to offer istikhara prayer as well.

If it's negative then you will both have to move on. There is a better person for you out there and Insha Allah you will find him soon.

"Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere." (2:155)


"What is with you passes away and what is with Allah is enduring; and We will most certainly give to those who are patient their reward for the best of what they did." (16:96)

Allah's Apostle (SA) said, "No calamity befalls a Muslim but that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it, even though it were the prick he receives from a thorn." (Al-Bukhari)
​