Am I a true believer if I seek God's forgiveness every night even if I pray rarely?

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Nitro Zeus

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I have a problem with performing regulate prayers, that is because I was badly traumatized for life in grade 7 and now I'm disabled on performing the prayers regulate like every other Muslim does. But, even if I haven't prayed for long time, each night I recite shahada, Surat Al Ikhlass and Istakara(sometimes) for the hope of getting forgiveness for not performing the prayers. And whenever I try to perform the prayers in break time at high school, my bad memories started to reappear in mind and makes me feel shy to pray even if it takes 5 minutes and that is also because my Christian class mates do not stay in one place, they move and come quick, and my other problem is that I have this thought that I have problems with laziness and also lack of will, and another bigger than this is that I have a thought that when I want to pray, I start to have thoughts that I'll be humiliated like in past or it will happen even worse than that, and I'm tired of this of being humiliated.

Like this am I a weak Muslim, right? And man, even at home I feel shy to pray in front of my Christian mother, sister and grandmother, because they do not have my mentality, and my grandmother thinks about prostration as something not right and that makes me feel uncomfortable.
 
A Muslim who leaves prayer is not considered Muslim anymore, unless they repent and start praying again.

Know that Allah (SWT) understands what you went through and understands that you are struggling. Do not give yourself excuses not to perform your prayer, rather force yourself and say I want to be rewarded, I want heaven and I do not want to be punished. Allah (SWT) will be asking about our prayers. Your first prayer might not be perfect but at least you got up and prayed. Look into how you can focus in your prayer. (Check YouTube videos) It's a struggle (it's my every day struggle) but just do it. Pray to Allah that He makes you among those who never leave their prayers.

You mentioned class mates, does your school not offer a place to pray for Muslims? If not I'm sure you can find an empty place in school where you can pray.

As for family do not worry what they think or anyone as long as you are doing what Allah (SWT) is asking you. Would you rather have people be pleased with you? Or Allah?

If you want to know if you are a true believer check your heart and pray. We can not answer that as we do not know what is in your heart. But Allah (SWT) is the most merciful and forgiving , truly repent to Allah and ask Him to help you to be among those who pray.
 
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Of course I want to make God happy, but the problem is that I don't know how to be cured from big trauma and from laziness and lack of will so that I can perform regulate prayers. So, if I don't pray then also whatever supplication I make, will be invalidate? Man, I wished there would be a second type of prayer in which I can pray by just reciting in my mind without movements and ablution, like this it can be easily for me to pray regulate x5 a day. Why life has to be so hard and taugh!??? If I haven't prayed at school, it is ok to recover the lost prayers when I come home? Because, I have consulted this with my mother and she told me once that there is no vailable room for me in high school because it is a Christian high school, and I haven't seen an empty room that is not needed anymore in that school, they are all occupied. Is it ok if for example, when I come home from school I recover the lost prayers and then I start to ask God To Make me among those never left their prayers? Believe me that I tried to do this, but whenever I want to perform regulate prayers, my mind starts to remember the day I was humiliated and it could happen even worse any time, so it seems like I am only capable of doing this only at home. How can I ask God To not mind the deed I do? Is it even possible to do this? Because, I don't want to deal with His Punishment.
 
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