I am a 19 years old female Muslim born and rise in a muslim family in central asia..1 in half back i met a 29 years Egyptian male...fell inlove with this person we had a relation for 6 month bu then time came to separate...he had other girls and cheated on me and lied to me...h hurted me very badly with his lie about him going to die soon and him seeing other girls....i left him he didnt resist...now after a year he wrote me and wants me back he says he realize his mistake and all the wrong he did and cannot be happy with anyone except with me...tells me he thought it was for sometime love we would forget each other we had culture an ae difeence didnt think it as reall...after breaking up and aftr lossing me he realise that he did wrong and all the other girls couldnt make him as happy as he was with me...now i still love him just like before ....i cried over him a lot...but am lost i dont know wht to do wht to think...can anyone help me...if there are any other details i will answer plz ask...our relation for 6 month wasnt seeing each other only through internet bcs i left to study ...he come to visit me,,,i need advice shell i get married to him or no...is he really changed ...am gonna risk a lot in life but dont want to regret of wht i do...plz help brothers and sisters...InshAllah
Am planing to get married but need sm advice...
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Italianguy
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Don't mess with him. Forget him. Isn't it wrong to engage in any sort of relationship outside of marriage.
God be with you.
God be with you.
he is a muslim i am a muslim...i pray and have a strong beliefe in Allah...InshAllah,,,am just afraid to take a step in this marriage...but i know that everything that comes ...it comes from Allah....
cat eyes
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this is between you and Allah and nobody else never take guidance from anybody even though people care and everything but only Allah knows whats in this guys heart at the end of the day. maybe he is changed, who knows. do istikharah and then see how your heart feels then but don't rush in to anything to serious because relations outside of marriage is haraam.
Cabdullahi
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Isn't getting heartbroken one time enough how many times will you get heart broken until you come back to your senses and realize things?
just leave him sister its not worth it
just leave him sister its not worth it
Alpha Dude
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Sister, having a relationship before marriage is forbidden. The correct way to get married is for a man to approach your wali for permission to marry you. Then you can meet in the presence of your wali and see whether you are compatible. You should not seek to be alone with a guy without the presence of your wali. Unfortunately, by not following these rules, situations like yours develop.However, what's done is done. Move on, repent and when you get any more proposals in future, adopt the method specified above inshaAllah.
In the case of this particular guy, you have two options.
1. You refuse him outright cos of his past behaviour. Frankly, I think this would be the best option.
2. You tell him to approach your wali if you are willing to give him a second chance. Don't let him come up with excuses as to why he cannot. If it is serious, get family involved else if he hesitates on this even one bit, move on without giving him a second thought.
Don't forget Istikarah salah.
Dear brother or sister
I did istikharah 3 times the 1 two was feeling very comfortable,,,and calm...but the last one was a past memory that had happened...when i pray i feel calm and i feel like getting married to only him and that this will be the best way for me....i just need sm prayers sm dua if u plz can...i love this person a lot maybe the reason i lost him once was because i saw nothing except him...but now i pray to Allah to make my iman stronger to always love and remember Allah first and main in life...am just afraid to make a mistake
'Abd-al Latif
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:salamext:
Ahh, Ahh my girlfriend!
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sH3U0q6PQxs[/media]
Ahh, Ahh my girlfriend!
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sH3U0q6PQxs[/media]
AlbanianMuslim
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Dont do it. He hurt you once, he will hurt you again. He probably exhausted all other possibilities and you are his "safety net." I have seen it happen to other girls, dont let it happen to you.
Dagless
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I think you need to see if he really has changed. How is he different now? How can you confirm he won't cheat again? Look at other parts of his life (is he serious about his work? is he good to family? does he tell the truth (even in small matters)?). I don't believe in cutting people off without giving them a chance.
btw when I first read the thread title I thought it said "am planning to get married but need s&m advice". Not that this thread isn't interesting, but I can't help but feel let down.
btw when I first read the thread title I thought it said "am planning to get married but need s&m advice". Not that this thread isn't interesting, but I can't help but feel let down.
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Muslim Woman
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dont allow it, it's haram . talk to ur parent . If they agree , then tell him to send proposal through his parents.
In the meantime , as already suggested , try to know more about his present lifestyle. Does he go to bar , disco club , does he have girlfriends , does he offer salat regularly etc.
If you are not sure about istekhara , tell him to do it or ur parent can do it also. May Allah bless u with a pious husband , Ameen.
dont allow it, it's haram . talk to ur parent . If they agree , then tell him to send proposal through his parents.
In the meantime , as already suggested , try to know more about his present lifestyle. Does he go to bar , disco club , does he have girlfriends , does he offer salat regularly etc.
If you are not sure about istekhara , tell him to do it or ur parent can do it also. May Allah bless u with a pious husband , Ameen.
Thank you brothers and sisters....
about the issue of his life ...he prays and fasts and stop going to clubs and bars for long...he stop contacting with any of his girlsfriends from the past...he tells me he changed a lot bcs he woke up now..he didnt see a lot which he sees right now...i know personally that ppl change once they regret or be aware of smth....am not planing to do any haram thats why and i dont want him to do it again with others aswell...he wants to get married this summer wants me to meet his parents and he meets my...i live in turkey he lives in dubai...he tells me a lot of him chaning but since am here i dont see it...and by the time we broke up in this whole 1 year i became more close to Allah this way....its shame to say but whenever we ppl feel bad and worn out or anything thats the time we are getting close to Allah....
Muslim Woman
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Don't u have relative or friend there ? Anyway , talk to ur parents first before promise him anything.
If you see he's a potential spouse (you're pleased with his character and religious commitment) and he truly has repented then as the other members have adviced you approch your walis.
:wa:
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From the above posts, i could understand, you are acting as his lawyer and you have already decided what you are going to do. As many of brothers and sisters suggested you the way opposite you are trying some one you to suggest. Now it is your own decesion.
All what you are explaining in above trails is what he said you. You are just 19, and many other good boys are there in the world for you, why don't you trust in Allah.
All what you are explaining in above trails is what he said you. You are just 19, and many other good boys are there in the world for you, why don't you trust in Allah.
Ummu Sufyaan
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so if he cared about you so much, why didnt he contact your wali instead of you? has he even inquired about your wali? when the cat's away, the mice come out to play.
maybe its because every other girls left him that he has come to mend his ego because he knows you are waiting for him
Dear brother
am just trying to understand of wht he said how much can it be true..as a man you ...if u be in his situation wht would u do ? am 19 but am enough mature in my age i live and study away from family and country...i always take my decisions myself thats true but smtimes 1 brain is good 2 are better...when i look at him i see one thing but sm smone else looks they might see more ....thats wht am trying to figure out...
so if he cared about you so much, why didnt he contact your wali instead of you? has he even inquired about your wali? when the cat's away, the mice come out to play.
maybe its because every other girls left him that he has come to mend his ego because he knows you are waiting for him
he contacted me as he says to see weather i can fogive and forget wht was in the past and strting living a better future...after my desicion he will take action on wali and parents and everything...or maybe as u said they left him he came back....but as i know him he can find anyone else if he wills but wants me...but i dont know how much true it wil be...
cat eyes
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so thats why you should do istikhara and see how your heart feels then sister
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb25hi3xEYE&feature=related
if you don't know how to do. this will get you started.
Life_Is_Short
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Ask your parents for advice. Simple! Nowadays, the word “love” has got other connotations and refers to other types of relationships. One of which resembles a game of chess, just to enjoy a few hours and then farewell.
P.s, The same story repeats over and over again. I have read 3 similar stories (during the last week) on IB. This is why the set Islamic guidelines should be followed to avoid such problems.
P.s, The same story repeats over and over again. I have read 3 similar stories (during the last week) on IB. This is why the set Islamic guidelines should be followed to avoid such problems.
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