Anxiety+ depression help :(

[anonymous]

Assalaamu-Alaykum,

Please can somebody offer me advice. Since many months now I have been going downhill with regards to my mental health. I suffer from anxiety, and therefore I display many of the symptoms associated with this. I am currently having therapy for it, though I find it difficult to discuss some things with the therapist, because they are not Muslim. Also, I know that this anxiety has led me to depression. Since late, I have been feeling depressed so regularly and frequently. I feel scared to even relax for a short while, because I know that my depression will come back. I cannot have any moments in peace, because I feel as though something is wierd, "why am I not worrying?", them sort of thoughts if you see. It's as if I am afraid to let go because I feel I have to be constantly on my guard, else something awful will happen.

I think I have a bad habit of looking out for trouble and deliberately reminding myself of thoughts I don't wish to know about, it's as though my mind automatically searches for these worrisome thoughts, because it has gotten so used to worrying now. Hence, this really interferes with me being able to have any peace and quiet in my life currently.

I just feel so depressed really, and that is what is bothering me the most. They say anxiety and depression feed off each other, well in my case I'm pretty sure they do. Recently, I've been yearning so much for my past, this time last year I was so happy and not depressed at all. The last time I had a good day was so so long ago, it's seems such a distant memory. I feel as though I will never get back to that state, for some reason I feel as though I deserve this, this is my test in life. Then other times, I try to be easy on myself.

Also, my parents are becoming tired of this too, they have helped me a lot but they perhaps think it's easier to resolve than I do. Therefore, I'm not truthfully discussing anything with them now, I don't know who to turn to. I'm going to see my therapist again and say all these things, in the hope that I have released some of the burden. But what else can I do? At times, I can successfully lift my mood, but then it comes down so easily again.

Also, I am becoming so forgetful these days and I know for sure I was never this forgetful. I forget things so much, even if I had just seen it a short while ago, and I think it's because of all this stress, anxiety and depression.

Also, I worry a lot about the future, and what might happen. I anticipate bad things, and then try to figure out how to solve them, prepare plans to get around them in advance etc. I have read a saying of Umar(RA) something similar to "..... and what is destined for you can never escape you, and what is not destined for you will never reach you" something like that I think. Does this essentially mean that we should NOT WORRY AT ALL, about the future and everything in it? Sometimes I think to myself however, that " no I should do some preparation and anticipation", and eventually it gets to the point where it causes me so much stress and anxiety etc. Hence why I feel I should leave the future as it is and not worry about it, rather I should fully engage in the present moment, because that is all I have right now.

I would appreciate all of your advice and help, JazakAllah

Wasalaam

 

[Snowflake]

Assalamu alaykum,


How are you? I hope you're feeling better since, insha Allah. Do you know what brought on the anxiety? Did something happen to make you feel this way? I suffer from anxiety too. So I understand how you feel to an extent. I pray Allah grants you relief from your condition and removes the calamities from your life. Ameen.

 

[Flame of Hope]

I have read a saying of Umar(RA) something similar to "..... and what is destined for you can never escape you, and what is not destined for you will never reach you" something like that I think. Does this essentially mean that we should NOT WORRY AT ALL, about the future and everything in it?

I think there are things we should worry about..... and things we shouldn't worry about.

Some things we should worry about are:

1. Are we worshipping Allah the way we should?
2. Are we doing enough?
3. Will our deeds be accepted by Allah?
4. Is our death going to be that of a Muslim?
5. Are we wasting precious time engaging in things that will not benefit us in the Hereafter?

The things that we should not worry about are:

Things that are not within our control. For example, the future.... and the past, which is gone and which we cannot bring back.

It might help to remember that a Muslim is obligated to believe in Allah's Qadar. Whatever is going to happen will happen..... and what is not going to happen, will never happen.

The cure is to put your trust in Allah. And to have the knowledge.... that whatever Allah has written down for His servants is all good.

How wonderful is the case of a believer! There is good for him in everything, and this is not the case with anyone except a believer. If prosperity attends him, he expresses gratitude to Allah and that is good for him; and if adversity befalls him, he endures it patiently and that is better for him. (Muslim) ​

 

[Dagless]

If the therapy is not helping it maybe worth having your therapist refer you to a psychiatrist (that word seems to carry a lot of stigma even though it shouldn't). The reason I say this is that a therapist can't look deeper or offer you any forms of medication whereas a psychiatrist is actually a doctor and so not only can they offer medication (which may make things easier), but also notice other things/give advice which only doctors can.

 

[Alpha Dude]

I cannot have any moments in peace, because I feel as though something is wierd, "why am I not worrying?", them sort of thoughts if you see. It's as if I am afraid to let go because I feel I have to be constantly on my guard, else something awful will happen.

I think I have a bad habit of looking out for trouble and deliberately reminding myself of thoughts I don't wish to know about, it's as though my mind automatically searches for these worrisome thoughts, because it has gotten so used to worrying now. Hence, this really interferes with me being able to have any peace and quiet in my life currently.

This is exactly describing how I used to feel about 7 years and more ago.

If your state is severe such that you feel you need to go to a psyhiatrist, go for it but I would say alongside that, try to establish a firm connection with Allah. An actual bond where you talk to him and ask him for help, guidance and protection from all harm. The more you do this throughout your day, the more you pour your heart out to him, the less stress and worried you're likely to feel inshaAllah.

Think of it like this: you lock the door of your house and you feel just that little bit more secure in knowing there is some level of protection from theives. In the same way, with any and every issue that is on your mind, you make a long dua each morning and each night that Allah protects you from them. So, in that way, you have that psychological sense of reassurance and confidence that Allah has your back. Of course, you should have utmost confidence that Allah will answer you requests.

Helps me, anyway.

 

[Ghazalah]

try to establish a firm connection with Allah.

This. So much this.

Having worked with a lot of people with depression, I give them the normal dose of therapy and they take medication, but I will always always try and make them re-connect with Allah swt. Forget what these Psychiatrists say, yes therapy can work to an extent aswell as medication, but who decides that? Allah swt. Re-connect with Him and I will guarantee a change in the way you feel and a positive change in your life inshAllah.

 

[anonymous]

I think there are things we should worry about..... and things we shouldn't worry about.

Some things we should worry about are:

1. Are we worshipping Allah the way we should?
2. Are we doing enough?
3. Will our deeds be accepted by Allah?
4. Is our death going to be that of a Muslim?
5. Are we wasting precious time engaging in things that will not benefit us in the Hereafter?

The things that we should not worry about are:

Things that are not within our control. For example, the future.... and the past, which is gone and which we cannot bring back.

It might help to remember that a Muslim is obligated to believe in Allah's Qadar. Whatever is going to happen will happen..... and what is not going to happen, will never happen.

The cure is to put your trust in Allah. And to have the knowledge.... that whatever Allah has written down for His servants is all good.

How wonderful is the case of a believer! There is good for him in everything, and this is not the case with anyone except a believer. If prosperity attends him, he expresses gratitude to Allah and that is good for him; and if adversity befalls him, he endures it patiently and that is better for him. (Muslim)
​

Wa'alaikumus-salaam, JazakAllah for your reply. I agree with your answer completely, yet often I become confused as to how much 'worrying' I should do. Sometimes I think a little bit of worrying is normal with regards to worldly matters( which I am ashamed to say, form most of the focus of my current worries). But according to you we should not worry about the past or the future. The future in particular is something I constantly worry about and perhaps many of us do!!

I understand what you mean when you say everything has already been determined by the will of Allah SWT, yet for some reason I still keep worrying. My worries come and go, but when they return, it is always back to the same old worries, one thing after another. I think what's most important for me to solve this problem is being able to accept exactly what you have written here i.e. everything is destined for you by the will of Allah SWT.

On that note, I also sometimes 'add' things in myself e.g. " yes, everything is destined already, but I think that I should make a reasonable effort to remove my worries". Only problem is, this 'reasonable effort' always results in me feeling worse than I was before I started the worrying/ruminating and it never is a 'reasonable effort'! Rather, it becomes torturous for me and as much as I dislike thinking and ruminating, I still continue to see if there are any different outcomes from it. What is your opinion on this, do you feel that we should make a 'reasonable effort' to remove our worries, or leave everything entirely as it is going to happen without attempting to plan ahead yourself?

Tbh, this confusion is pretty significant for me at the moment, because I can pinpoint this confusion as being the source of my continous worrying to this day. Of course, I want to let go of these worries, but I would really appreciate some clarification in this matter, as I've described in the above paragraph.

It's kind of similar to having the belief that " my health is in the hands of Allah SWT, therefore why should I make any effort to maintain good health". But would you really act on such a thought and not show any attention towards your physical health, and allow it to deteriorate? This is an example of where my confusion arises from, you see in some contexts it seems appropriate to put in reasonable effort yourself, and in other situations it seems counterproductive( like the other situation I've described). Insha Allah, when I stop worrying about things which have not occurred yet and ignore this 'reasonable effort' confusion( and slippery slope towards gloom!), then my problems will be resolved.

Looking forward to your reply, JazakAllah. Wasalaam

 

[Flame of Hope]

On that note, I also sometimes 'add' things in myself e.g. " yes, everything is destined already, but I think that I should make a reasonable effort to remove my worries". Only problem is, this 'reasonable effort' always results in me feeling worse than I was before I started the worrying/ruminating and it never is a 'reasonable effort'! Rather, it becomes torturous for me and as much as I dislike thinking and ruminating, I still continue to see if there are any different outcomes from it. What is your opinion on this, do you feel that we should make a 'reasonable effort' to remove our worries, or leave everything entirely as it is going to happen without attempting to plan ahead yourself?

Tbh, this confusion is pretty significant for me at the moment, because I can pinpoint this confusion as being the source of my continous worrying to this day. Of course, I want to let go of these worries, but I would really appreciate some clarification in this matter, as I've described in the above paragraph.

It's kind of similar to having the belief that " my health is in the hands of Allah SWT, therefore why should I make any effort to maintain good health". But would you really act on such a thought and not show any attention towards your physical health, and allow it to deteriorate? This is an example of where my confusion arises from, you see in some contexts it seems appropriate to put in reasonable effort yourself, and in other situations it seems counterproductive( like the other situation I've described). Insha Allah, when I stop worrying about things which have not occurred yet and ignore this 'reasonable effort' confusion( and slippery slope towards gloom!), then my problems will be resolved.

Looking forward to your reply, JazakAllah. Wasalaam

I understand what you mean. These worries about the future..... I think it's perfectly normal to have these worries, even though we know fully well that everything has already been decreed by Allah.

What I meant to say regarding Allah's Qadar is that a believer is able to handle whatever comes his way.... whether they are blessings or calamities, it doesn't matter. That's because as believers we KNOW that whatever Allah writes down for His believing servants is all good. You know there's a hadith that states that Allah is cares more about His servants than a mother does for her child. So that ought to give you an indication that Allah wishes only what is good for you.

Calamities strengthen us. They teach us many things. Blessings on the other hand can prove to be more harmful to people.... causing them to go astray... become ungrateful and arrogant.

So whatever comes your way..... you mustn't worry about it.

But you must do something about your situation.... if it is in your control. If something is within your control, you must certainly do it. For example, your health. Isn't that in your control? Of course it is! So you can plan your meals and diet, chalk out an exercise program to stay fit.

It's okay to worry about the future though. You are not committing any sin. It's but natural for us to worry. So don't be too stressed out about it. Just accept it.... that worrying is part of life. And worrying isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's becoming indifferent that I'd be worried about.

I worry too. Just can't help it. I'm human. You're human. There will be trials and tests.... and we will worry even though we might try not to.

Just don't let worry take control of you. Think about Allah's greatness and His mercy and all the blessings you currently enjoy, be thankful for all that you have and divert your attention to what matters more: The Hereafter.

You can get through anything in life. Prayer will certainly help.

I hope that you will find some some measure of peace in the knowledge that Allah is ever near to us... nearer to us than our jugular vein..... and that the trials and difficulties of this world are temporary. They will pass....

All you need is patience.

May Allah help you and guide you. Ameen.

 

[Al-Mufarridun]

There are reasons, a wisdom as to why Allah(swt) has given us emotions and feelings. They serve a very vital point and that is - Emotions are alarms for action. What does that mean, it means we feel certain emotions/feelings at certain times - and those emotions are telling us to take a certain action.

Here is an example; The feeling of Fear. When we Fear something, our feelings are telling us - "This might/will happen to harm you - you are not prepared for it, so you better take immediate action."

Let us look at the feelings of Worry; what it means and how to overcome it when it goes over the limit.

The feelings of worry are signals that bring to our attention the negative things that 'could' happen. They serve to balance the equation with the positive. For example, if your child gets a fever, you can not be all positive and say it is just nothing, you must also be concerned and take the necessary steps.

Now excessive WORRY is the horror channel of the mind, that broadcasts only negative thoughts. It shows us false, filtered, one-sided images of reality. This is the killer of the mind, of energy, passion, dreams.

How should a Muslim over come Worry?

As was already mentioned i would advice first and foremost, have a firm connection with Allah(swt). Pursue the knowledge that will help you establish that firm connection and increase in your Iman. Knowledge is the key. Divine knowledge, that is the Qur'an and Sunnah. Learn the Names and Attributes of Allah(swt), really reflect on them and use them in Du'a.

The Solution: The solution to Worry in islam is Tawakal, putting your trust in Allah(swt).

What does Tawakal mean? here is hadith that best describes it;

One day Allah's Messenger, sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, noticed a Bedouin leaving his camel without tying it.
He asked the Bedouin, "Why don't you tie down your camel?"
The Bedouin answered, "I placed my trust in Allah."
At that, the Prophet, sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, said, "Tie your camel and place your trust in Allah" - Tirmidhi

Meaning - Doing what you can - then put your trust in Allah(swt).

If there is something that you are concerned about, sit-down, get a pen and a paper, write down exactly what you are feeling. Getting it out of the head and putting on paper, that alone will create some space between you and the problem. Once you wrote it down, ask your self, "is this truly the reality of the situation? or just one side of it?" Once you get the true picture of the situation, ask yourself, "what part of this do i have influence over? what part can I do something about?" Once you separated what you can influence and what you can't - here is where you begin;

That which you can influence and do something about - no matter how little or small it might be, DO WHAT YOU CAN DO, i.e. Tie your camel!
And the part you can not influence and change - LEAVE THAT TO ALLAH(swt), i.e. Tawakal 'put your trust in Allah'!


Do you know what the remote-control to your mind is, what you can use to change the channel in an instant? It is questions!

The questions you ask yourself inside your head, or out loud control what you focus on at any particular moment. Develop better questions, questions that empower you, motivate you, uplift you. Powerful Questions like; What can I be grateful for right now? What positive thing can i focus on? How can i use this experience to better myself? How can i learn from this? How can i use this to grow? to become stronger? wiser?

Our minds sometimes work like search engines when we ask questions they will give us answer, the difference is that sometimes search engines don't give us answer, while our mind always give us answer, sometimes wrong, distorted ones. for example if you constantly ask; "Why am I always worried?" "how come this always happens to me?" "Why am i always sad?" you brain will give you a list of evidence that will reinforce those questions. "Why" questions are specially damaging when you are in a negative mental state because they are endless.

On the other hand if you were to ask; "Why am I always Lucky?", "Why am i so blessed?" your brain will also give you a list of evidence that support why you are those things. So you see, questions open different windows in our minds and the wisdom is to ask the right empowering questions that open the windows we want to open, and lock those that weaken us.

May Allah(swt) assist us in remembering Him, thanking Him, and in worshiping Him in the best of manners. Ameen.

Here is a very Amazing Hadith to leave you with; THINK POSITIVE:

The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “Allah the Most High said, ‘I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am. I am with him when he mentions Me. If he mentions Me to himself, I mention him to Myself; and if he mentions Me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly greater than it. If he draws near to Me a hand’s length, I draw near to him an arm’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.’” [Sahih Al-Bukhari]

Commentary:
Imam Nawawi (may Allah have Mercy upon him) said:
“The scholars say that expecting the best of Allah is to expect that He will have Mercy on him and relieve him of hardship.”
[Sharh Sahih Muslim]

‘Abdullah bin Mas’ud (radi Allahu anhu) said: “By the One besides Who none is worthy of worship, the believer is not given anything good better than his good expectations of ALLAH, and by the One besides Who none is worthy of worship, no servant of ALLAH expects good of Him except that ALLAH gives him what he expected, since all good is in His Hand.” [Husn adh-Dhann bi ALLAH]
​

 

[gladTidings]

Allah swt will not change the condition of a person until a person changes what is within himself. We are encouraged to help ourselves, to better ourselves and to actively try for ourselves before the help of Allah swt is with us. Watching our life take the turns of our destiny will lead to nowhere and nothing, and that nothing, will become our destiny. Why do we have the ability to become what we are when we could just sit and watch it all happen to us? We can't. We make an intention of our destination and put hard work and effort into it, if and how we get there (the journey itself), is the decree of Allah swt.

p.s. the same journey can be a worrisome one or it can be an enjoyable one... that is in your frame of mind. Be positive =)

 

[anonymous]

Assalaamu-alaikum,

I don't know whether I am being pedantic here but nowadays I keep becoming confused as to how much is 'too much' and when have you 'done what you can'? I keep thinking that I am able to do more and more to resolve worries over time, but I find that it seems to be never ending and I never really find long-term relief.

So do you think you have done 'what you can' once you feel exhausted from worrying about something over and over, and you have made attempts to resolve an issue but now you feel like giving up on it and leaving it alone? Because that's how I often feel, yet as I mentioned I keep coming back to it over time. Mainly because I feel I have more energy to start worrying again with the passage of time, though this has not been beneficial for me.

I hope someone can relate to what I'm saying. And can someone tell me whether I am overthinking or irrationally thinking here? Because I know this depression has really messed up my thought processes. Very often, my thinking seems so far away from how it used to be when I was healthy, and now I just can't seem to find a way to get back that happy and positive old thinking. But Insha Allah, with the help of Allah SWT and by placing my trust in Him, I can get back to how I used to be.

JazakAllah for your replies, wasalaam.

 

[Flame of Hope]

So do you think you have done 'what you can' once you feel exhausted from worrying about something over and over, and you have made attempts to resolve an issue but now you feel like giving up on it and leaving it alone? Because that's how I often feel, yet as I mentioned I keep coming back to it over time. Mainly because I feel I have more energy to start worrying again with the passage of time, though this has not been beneficial for me.

I hope someone can relate to what I'm saying. And can someone tell me whether I am overthinking or irrationally thinking here? Because I know this depression has really messed up my thought processes. Very often, my thinking seems so far away from how it used to be when I was healthy, and now I just can't seem to find a way to get back that happy and positive old thinking. But Insha Allah, with the help of Allah SWT and by placing my trust in Him, I can get back to how I used to be.

I understand what you are saying. Because I've gone through these phases myself. These bouts of depression can really bring a person down so much so that one begins to give in to despair. You get that feeling of just giving up.

I'll share with you how I learned to deal with this sort of thing. It's just one word. ACCEPTANCE.

I stopped worrying and said to myself.... "Whatever comes my way, I'll ACCEPT it. I'll face it head on. If Allah has written that a calamity must befall me, then there is nothing I can do to avert it. So what is the point in being worried about something that Allah has decreed for me? Perhaps there is much good in this calamity that might befall me. I have no knowledge. Allah knows better than I do. And in Him I put my trust."

And I always remind myself of this duaa made by the Prophet (saws):

‘O Ever Living, O Self-Subsisting and Supporter of all, by Your mercy I seek assistance, rectify for me all of my affairs and do not leave me to myself, even for the blink of an eye.’

So if we were to put our affairs in the Hands of Allah and not try to solve them ourselves through our limited knowledge and abilities, I believe that we would find much peace..... and worries would go away.

This is what works for me. I hope it might work for you too.

May Allah help you and guide you. Ameen.

 

[anonymous]

I understand what you are saying. Because I've gone through these phases myself. These bouts of depression can really bring a person down so much so that one begins to give in to despair. You get that feeling of just giving up.

I'll share with you how I learned to deal with this sort of thing. It's just one word. ACCEPTANCE.

I stopped worrying and said to myself.... "Whatever comes my way, I'll ACCEPT it. I'll face it head on. If Allah has written that a calamity must befall me, then there is nothing I can do to avert it. So what is the point in being worried about something that Allah has decreed for me? Perhaps there is much good in this calamity that might befall me. I have no knowledge. Allah knows better than I do. And in Him I put my trust."

And I always remind myself of this duaa made by the Prophet (saws):

‘O Ever Living, O Self-Subsisting and Supporter of all, by Your mercy I seek assistance, rectify for me all of my affairs and do not leave me to myself, even for the blink of an eye.’

So if we were to put our affairs in the Hands of Allah and not try to solve them ourselves through our limited knowledge and abilities, I believe that we would find much peace..... and worries would go away.

This is what works for me. I hope it might work for you too.

May Allah help you and guide you. Ameen.

JazakAllah, that was a very good post for me. It can be difficult to make other people understand sometimes, especially if they haven't been through what you're going through. I did come across the concept of acceptance a while ago, but at the time I didn't pay much attention to it and so it waned away from my memory. I agree with you however, I am so tired of always coming back to the same old worries again and again, and it does make you so exhausted you don't feel like taking any more action to try to remove the worry. So now I should just accept this worry, and leave it to Allah SWT. Like you said, if everything has already been written down for us, then there is no point of worrying about things in the future, especially if they make you feel depressed, exhausted and generally in a poorer state.

Do you have any other good advice to share on this issue of depression and anxiety? Another significant problem I have is everytime I become temporarily firm in my resolve to not allow these issues to bother me again, I am successful for a very short period following which I relapse and then go through the vicious cycle again. How can I maintain my resolve in the long-term, such that I can permanently remove all these issues?

I look forward to any advice, if you have more. JazakAllah, thanks a lot. Wasalaam

 

[Flame of Hope]

JazakAllah, that was a very good post for me. It can be difficult to make other people understand sometimes, especially if they haven't been through what you're going through. I did come across the concept of acceptance a while ago, but at the time I didn't pay much attention to it and so it waned away from my memory. I agree with you however, I am so tired of always coming back to the same old worries again and again, and it does make you so exhausted you don't feel like taking any more action to try to remove the worry. So now I should just accept this worry, and leave it to Allah SWT. Like you said, if everything has already been written down for us, then there is no point of worrying about things in the future, especially if they make you feel depressed, exhausted and generally in a poorer state.

Do you have any other good advice to share on this issue of depression and anxiety? Another significant problem I have is everytime I become temporarily firm in my resolve to not allow these issues to bother me again, I am successful for a very short period following which I relapse and then go through the vicious cycle again. How can I maintain my resolve in the long-term, such that I can permanently remove all these issues?

I look forward to any advice, if you have more. JazakAllah, thanks a lot. Wasalaam

Alhamdulillah! Wallahu akbar!! You have no idea how pleased I am that you found my advice helpful. It's a matter of great happiness to me that I was able to help you in some way, in your time of need. And I am happy that Allah placed me in a position to help. Alhamdulillahir rabbil al ameen!

I am also glad that your intent is to find long-term peace. It's great to know that you have the awareness that things last for a very short time.

I'm afraid there isn't a permanent solution to the problem of worry. It's a battle that we have to fight till the day we die. It's part of our struggle.... our toil and striving. To be on the journey and to be striving and fighting is by itself your reward.

Can you imagine how dull and dreary things would be if there were no obstacles and no challenges in our way? Obstacles, hardships and difficulties are stepping stones to success. The better you get at handling them, the better person you will become in the end. These things build your character... and hence, we must look at them as supremely good.

Being patient is not easy. It is one of the hardest things we are ever called upon to do. And because of its difficulty, the reward for patience is also magnificent. Allah has reserved the best reward for the saabiroon.

The greater the trial and test, the greater will be your reward if you were to be patient in enduring it. It is by virtue of calamities, hardships and difficulties that Allah sorts us out. The Day of Judgment does have another name. It's the Day of Sorting Out.

Eliminating worry from our life is a constant process and a process that requires you to be engaged in thought, reflection and contemplation. In other words, you would have to be constantly MOTIVATING yourself to stay positive.

Here are some really nice quotes which might be helpful in keeping you motivated for life:

1. You have freedom when you're easy in your harness. - Robert Frost.

note: remember the hadith of the Prophet (saws) where he made it clear that if he was given two choices, he would choose what was easiest for him to do. So do things according to your abilities and be easy on yourself.


2. The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities. - Stephen Covey.



3. The ability to focus attention on important things is a definining characteristic of intelligence. - Robert J. Shiller.

note: It's very important to know what your priorities are. You must have them in the right order for your life to be in the order it should be.



3. Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment. - Barry LePatner.

note: Doesn't this mean that everything is good?



4. To be mature means to face, and not evade, every fresh crisis that comes. - Fritz Kunkel.

note: I think a lot of people try to evade problems rather than face them. One has to have the guts to face any crisis that might come his way. And think about the worst case scenario. Whatever it may be... there will ALWAYS be people worse off than you. The Prophet (saws) advised to look at people who are worse off than we are, not better off than we are.

5. To try to be better is to be better. - Charlotte Cushman.



6. If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. - Tallulah Bankhead.



7. When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?" - Sydney J. Harris.



8. It is said an eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him with the words, "And this too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!" - Abraham Lincoln.

note: Whatever the hardship or difficulty, it won't last forever. It too will pass. What a consolation that is! Alhamdulillahir rabbil al ameen! In the Qur'an Allah informs us this.... with every hardship there is relief. So wait for it.

And this is the last quote....

9. Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson.

note: Think about what is within your ability to do and then do it. If you don't plant your seeds today, there will be no crops tomorrow. It's the law of cause and effect. Another name for Allah's Qadar: A man gets what he strives for. A man reaps what he sows.



I sincerely hope that these quotes and sayings of wisdom will help you get motivated and stay motivated....

May Allah make things easier for you and aid you. Ameen.

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Assalaamu-Alaykum,

Please can somebody offer me advice. Since many months now I have been going downhill with regards to my mental health. I suffer from anxiety, and therefore I display many of the symptoms associated with this. I am currently having therapy for it, though I find it difficult to discuss some things with the therapist, because they are not Muslim. Also, I know that this anxiety has led me to depression. Since late, I have been feeling depressed so regularly and frequently. I feel scared to even relax for a short while, because I know that my depression will come back. I cannot have any moments in peace, because I feel as though something is wierd, "why am I not worrying?", them sort of thoughts if you see. It's as if I am afraid to let go because I feel I have to be constantly on my guard, else something awful will happen.

I think I have a bad habit of looking out for trouble and deliberately reminding myself of thoughts I don't wish to know about, it's as though my mind automatically searches for these worrisome thoughts, because it has gotten so used to worrying now. Hence, this really interferes with me being able to have any peace and quiet in my life currently.

I just feel so depressed really, and that is what is bothering me the most. They say anxiety and depression feed off each other, well in my case I'm pretty sure they do. Recently, I've been yearning so much for my past, this time last year I was so happy and not depressed at all. The last time I had a good day was so so long ago, it's seems such a distant memory. I feel as though I will never get back to that state, for some reason I feel as though I deserve this, this is my test in life. Then other times, I try to be easy on myself.

Also, my parents are becoming tired of this too, they have helped me a lot but they perhaps think it's easier to resolve than I do. Therefore, I'm not truthfully discussing anything with them now, I don't know who to turn to. I'm going to see my therapist again and say all these things, in the hope that I have released some of the burden. But what else can I do? At times, I can successfully lift my mood, but then it comes down so easily again.

Also, I am becoming so forgetful these days and I know for sure I was never this forgetful. I forget things so much, even if I had just seen it a short while ago, and I think it's because of all this stress, anxiety and depression.

Also, I worry a lot about the future, and what might happen. I anticipate bad things, and then try to figure out how to solve them, prepare plans to get around them in advance etc. I have read a saying of Umar(RA) something similar to "..... and what is destined for you can never escape you, and what is not destined for you will never reach you" something like that I think. Does this essentially mean that we should NOT WORRY AT ALL, about the future and everything in it? Sometimes I think to myself however, that " no I should do some preparation and anticipation", and eventually it gets to the point where it causes me so much stress and anxiety etc. Hence why I feel I should leave the future as it is and not worry about it, rather I should fully engage in the present moment, because that is all I have right now.

I would appreciate all of your advice and help, JazakAllah

Wasalaam

Asalaamu Alaikum, Consider the following:

10 Ways To Overcome Sadness & Depression



1. Live for each new day:



Know that whatever you have gone through in your past ass gone and will never come back: So everyday is a new and fresh day. Yesterday is a distance memory and today is what matters.

Therefore live for today and live for each new and fresh day and do not think about yesterday as it is gone and you cannot do anything about it now. Do not think too much about tomorrow for it may never come. But copncentrate on NOW for that is what matters the most. Make the best of now and your future will be bright inshallah.


2. Each second that goes by we will never get back again:



Know that each second is a true blessing and every second that ticks by can never again be regained so why should we waste our precious time being sad when our sadness will not change anything and will not benefit us in anyway but that which will benefit us in this world and the next is our good deeds.

So Think to yourself: "Why am i wasting my precious seconds being down when i will NEVER get back these seconds again. I cannot change what has happened in the past and i do not know if i will be alive tomorrow. So there is NOpoint and NO time to for me to be down for my time is so little and it may end at any second. So let me concetrate on and make the best of NOW!"



3. Know that our life is pre-destined:


Whatever will happen will happen so there is no point being down about it. Ouur sadness will not affect the outcome of our destiny but our good actions and dua will. So let us do as much good as possible and make sincere dua so that Allah may make our future a brighter one. If we are given tests then surely tests are a blessing in disguise.

So think to yourself: "Why am i wasting this precious time being upset when everything is pre-destined so whatever will happen will happen so there is NO point me being down about it".



4. Think of your death:


Surely death wakes us up into the true reality of our life that we are living to die. Each second that goes by is closer to our death. So why should we be sad when we know our purpose in this life and so we should do EVERYTHING to fulfill that purpose and that means not waste a second on that which will not benefit us in this life or the next.

Therefore there is NO point being sad and when we are sad then we should remind ourselves of death and that we will end up in the grave with nothing but our deeds so we should do everything to please Allah and prepare for our daths for sadness will just waste our time and hold us back from fulfilling the very purpose of our life and making the best of the life we have.


5. Think of the hereafter:


Think about the time when the sun will be SO close to the Earth. When When you will stand with every creation in the universe and be ready to face Allah with your deeds. This will encourage you to get up and snap out of your sadness and depression and realise that you have to prepare for that day when you will face Allah. That day it will be just you and your deeds! So what point is there being sad? Will it help us when we face Allah on the day of judgement? NO but doing good deeds will! Will being sad affect our future? NO. But again doing good deeds and making sincere dua will.


6. Look at those who have less than you:


When you are sad then just look at those who have less than you. Look at what you have been given in comparison to them. You have food on a plate 3 times a day whereas they struggle to get a crumb of flour.

You drink out of purified tap water when they drink from dirty contaminated water full of disease. Others do not even have a drop to drink for several days.

You have shelter and heated homes whereas they live in a tent and refuge camp. They have nothing to keep them sheltered whereas you have four walls with a roof.

You have wealth that you can buy all the luxuries in the world whereas they can only dream of what you have.

So look at those with less and those who have nothing. Then know how lucky you are so should you really be sad? Instead thank Allah and spend in his path that he may give you more in this world and the hereafter.



7. Appreciate that you have been given imaan(faith)out of so many people in this world:



You could have been born in any era and in any faith or religion. You could have been of those who were misguided. You could have been of those who were not favoured by Allah but you have been given the most special gift of ALL imaan!

Therefore appreciate it and thank Allah for it night and day. Why would you be sad when you have been favoured out of countless others?



8. Make dua to Allah:



Whenever you are down then make dua to Allah. Turn to him in the latter part of the night when he will attend to you quicker. Turn to him when others are deep in their sleep. Turn to him in humility, meekness and humbleness. Turn to him knowing that he is listening. Turn to him knowing he is the closest to you. Turn to him knowing he cares and he truly loves you.

Cry to him and beg of him to forgive you. Ask of him to fulfill your needs but at the same time trust in him that he will do what is best for you. If he wants you to be patient then be patient for you will get SO MUCH BETTER IN RETURN!

Turn to him knowing he WILL answer your prayer, if not now, then tomorrow. If not tomorrow then in the hereafter and that is when we will be rewarded most for our dua's and we would wish that NO dua was accepted so that we recieved EVERY reward for our dua in the hereafter.



9. Make pleasing Allah the source of your pleasure in this life:



If we make pleasing Allah the source of our pleasure in this life then HOW can we ever be sad? When we live each day to have a highflying career we will never be fully satisfied no matter where our career is because we always want to have a better career.

When we live for money then we will never be satisfied because we always want more and will always try new ventures and ways in order to get more and more.

When we live for other people then they will always let us down in one way or another.

But if we live to please Allah and do good deeds that will make us feel closer to him then what better pleasure is there in life.

So when you are feeling sad then think: "Let me get up and do good in order to please Allah for that is my source of true happiness in this life"

So make EVERYDAY a day when you will want to please Allah more than yesterday. When you are sad then turn to Allah and make him the source of your true happiness. Make the pleasure of pleasing him the means of you NEVER becoming sad again.

If we want something good from Allah then surely we should do that which is pleasing to Allah - Imam Ahmed


10. RELY ON ALLAH:


Most of all rely on Allah. Know that he is there for you and closer to you than your jugular vein. Know that he knows you better than you know yourself. Know that he loves you more than any soul ever could. Know that he is there for you when others arent. Know that he will never let you down when others will. Know that whatever you go through in life.

So put your FULL trust, faith and reliance in him and know that is is ALWAYS there so trust in him.


May Allah enable us to do everything to please him and to put our full trust in him. Ameen