Arranged marriage

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Pinky

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I was having a tweeting about arranged marriage to a white man, who first of all is extremely sexist and woman abusive.
But I'd just like to ask on views on arranged marriage. I defended it saying if both the to be bride and husband are personally happy with it themselves and the families have taken time to know each other, then arranged marriage is ok.
I said If the decision was taken and the woman or man is unhappy, then it is wrong and forced marriage is wrong.
So what are your opinions?
Thanks.
 
Forced marriage where either of the two are unhappy = bad.

Arranged marriage where they are introduced and have mutually agreed to continue = good.

I don't think any sane person will disagree with you.
 
Alpha Dude said:
Forced marriage where either of the two are unhappy = bad.

Arranged marriage where they are introduced and have mutually agreed to continue = good.

I don't think any sane person will disagree with you.
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Sane people will not disagree with you. Unfortunately, there are many out there who would simply because you describing a way to do things that is different than what they are used to.



There are also many people who will confuse an arranged marriage with a forced one. In their mind, they think "how can anyone agree to an arranged marriage? Surely the bride must be forced". The truth is, most are not forced.

This is yet another non sense of the modern western society. Total liberty is pushed to the extreme (including encouraging divorce for trivial issues) and the idea of love is idealized and seen as the ultimate objective. There are even multiple dating services where you have to pay money to let a stranger make a match that will not work anyway. Yet, trusting close family members who truly have their children's best interests at heart make those arrangements is seen as bad by some people.

Maybe the problem is deeper and it is simply that many westerners simply no longer believe parents want the best for their children. After all, how could they since children do not pay parents to take care of them!



It is saddening how much some people seem to be unhappy in their life.
 
forced marriage is againat islam. Both parties have a choice. People in cultural worlds either don't know this or purposely ignore this. However it is sinful to marry someone of your choice then later back out claiming being forced. That is messed up and extremely sinful.
 
Unfortunately I know a case of this happening. The girl married of her own volation then later backed out. They don't realise people lives can be destroyed
 
Personally I would feel like a monster, ogre, troll, zombie whatever you name it to indicate negativity if I knew my wife was forced to marry me and her heart was on someone else. I would divorce her like that and come in range to the parent for deceiving me and for forcing their daughter on me.

:-X concept of forcing someone in marriage make me close my eyes in cringe ......... and what is worse to me are those men who know their wives are forced to marry them and do not carry...selfishly want her for themselves even if she asked for divorced. If my wife says to me I was forced to marry you, divorce me I will say yes ma'am. You are talaaq. Go! Free! Run like a bird I do not want to be the cage for your freedom.
 
xboxisdead said:
Personally I would feel like a monster, ogre, troll, zombie whatever you name it to indicate negativity if I knew my wife was forced to marry me and her heart was on someone else. I would divorce her like that and come in range to the parent for deceiving me and for forcing their daughter on me.

:-X concept of forcing someone in marriage make me close my eyes in cringe ......... and what is worse to me are those men who know their wives are forced to marry them and do not carry...selfishly want her for themselves even if she asked for divorced. If my wife says to me I was forced to marry you, divorce me I will say yes ma'am. You are talaaq. Go! Free! Run like a bird I do not want to be the cage for your freedom.
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I don't think it's that simple. Sometimes people can be confused at the time of marriage. Especially if they've married a stranger. They might not be sure of what they feel. For sure, one should never divorce without careful consideration.
 
Another way It can easier is nonmuslims don't make a fuss like muslims do over money, race, tribe, nationalism. In this aspect they are better because they be with someone they like rather than be petty like us. We can marriage so hard and put a stigma on the most silliest things. This is a part where we lack but inshallah a good muslim man will not care about these silly things
 
Studentofdeed said:
Another way It can easier is nonmuslims don't make a fuss like muslims do over money, race, tribe, nationalism. In this aspect they are better because they be with someone they like rather than be petty like us. We can marriage so hard and put a stigma on the most silliest things. This is a part where we lack but inshallah a good muslim man will not care about these silly things
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In sha Allah.
 
HowManyMore said:
I don't think it's that simple. Sometimes people can be confused at the time of marriage. Especially if they've married a stranger. They might not be sure of what they feel. For sure, one should never divorce without careful consideration.
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Sorry, but I vomit at a thought that a woman is forced on me or she is forced to marry me. I feel dirty. Robbing my body with soap wouldn't do it. I cannot stay one second with a person who told me they are forced on me. I cannot. I would not touch them. I would not sleep with them. I would not be in the same house with me.

Forcing someone in anything revulsive me. Especially if it came to marrying someone. I cannot do it. Sorry. Can't. So if I do get married and she feel she is forced but in fact she is confused at the beginning she BETTER NOT UTTER the word forced. The second she put forced in her sentence followed by marriage in another...like a sneeze about to come out you cannot control or stop...word "talaaq" comes out of my lips even if after I said she cleared her mind and in fact she wants me willingly. Sorry. You started the sentence forced and you uttered it. We are done. No return.
 

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