Be Easy with The Lovers!

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Ibn Abi Ahmed

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:sl:

On the authority of al-Asma‘ī, that he said, “I was once walking in the village when I came across a stone. Someone had written on it:

أيا معشر العشاق بالله خبروا **** إذا حل عشق بالفتى كيف يصنع​
O lovers! By Allah, tell me!
If a young man is overcome by love, what should he do?​

So I wrote underneath it:

يداوي هواه ثم يكتم سره **** ويخشع في كل الأمور ويخضع​
Let him treat his desire, then conceal his secret
And humble himself in every matter and submit (before his Lord)​

I returned the next day and I found written underneath it:

فكيف يداوي والهوى قاتل الفتى **** وفي كل يوم قلبه يتقطع​
But how can it be treated when that desire fights the man
And every day his heart is torn to pieces?!​

So I wrote underneath it:

إذا لم يجد صبراً لكتمان سره **** فليس له شيء سوى الموت أنفع​
If he is unable to be patient with concealing his secret
Then there is nothing for him except death that will benefit!​

I then returned on the third day to find a young man lying dead at the stone. I said, ‘Lā hawla wa lā quwwata illā billāhil-‘Alī’l-‘Adhīm!’ and found that he had written before his death:

سمعنا , أطعنا , ثم متنا فبلغوا **** سلامي إلى من كان للوصل يمنع​
We have heard and we have obeyed; now we have died so tell everyone
My salām to the one who prevented me from attaining her.​

(Narrated by al-Abshīhī in al-Mustatrif, 1/410)


So dear brothers and sisters, next time we give advice to such people, just remember you’re dealing with hearts full of love not vessels full of stone.

Now a little about al-Imam, al-Hafidh: Al-Asma‘ī.

Al-Asma‘ī was one of the early Imams and leading scholars of Arabic, Grammar and Poetry. He narrated from some of the greatest scholars in Islam such as Imām Mālik, Imām al-Shāfi‘ī, Ibn ‘Awn, Ibn Abi’l-Zinād, ‘Atā b. Abi Rabāh, Hammād b. Salamah, Shu‘bah and many others.

He was praised by the major Imams of the Salaf, including Imām Ahmed, Imām al-Shāfi‘ī and Ibn Ma‘īn who said about him, “Asma‘ī is the most knowledgeable of all in his field.”

Read completely here.
 
:muddlehea subhanallah *shows us to be more cautious when giving advice
 
Jazakallah khayr...

i should remind myself...next time if i meet any teenagers or youth who is falling in love... i should be easy on them :)
 
:sl:

Jazakallah for this,

yes love can be a good and a bad thing unfortunately. Just shows when we give advice, we should know what we are giving advice up on. Better to keep silent though.
 
syilla said:
Jazakallah khayr...

i should remind myself...next time if i meet any teenagers or youth who is falling in love... i should be easy on them :)
Click to expand...

I think "love" in the story is love of Allah not ones loving a human being
 
True...be easy with the lover.

When teenagers say there in love ppl make fun of them and think that there just playing around.
Seriously think before u hurt them or even better just leave the alone.
 
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when it says be easy with them....surely it doesnt mean leave them alone, because unless they are married or to be married, shaytaan is taking advantage of their weak state, so you should admonish them, but nicely i guess.

but how shhould parents go about calmly admonishing their love struck teens? , its usually a forced marriage or an honour killing if its a girl.

life is not as simple as the title of this thread :)
 
Sahabiyaat said:
when it says be easy with them....surely it doesnt mean leave them alone, because unless they are married or to be married, shaytaan is taking advantage of their weak state, so you should admonish them, but nicely i guess.
Click to expand...

Yeah..it's just being able to understand them and their feelings and give advise accordingly. When a person is in love, their mental state is very different, I can't even explain it in words. A person shouldn't turn around all shocked and be condescending, unfeeling or extremely rational.

but how shhould parents go about calmly admonishing their love struck teens? , its usually a forced marriage or an honour killing if its a girl.

life is not as simple as the title of this thread :)
Click to expand...
That's the reason most teenagers don't tell their parents about how they feel..and would rather tell their friends. If they have good friends then the situation will move towards the better...but, as is the case a lot of the time, if they have bad friends then there's a lot of harm that can come about.

You're right, it isn't easy to get teens to talk to their parents..especially when the kids are raised here and their parents were raised back home and there is great discrepancy between both of them in terms of understanding, perspectives, and outlook. It's rare that the parents raise their kids in a way where the kid can talk to their parents about anything even being in love..it's a long process to be able to build a relationship with your kids like that and the foundation for it needs to be put right from when the kids are still very young. Unfortunately, most parents that were raised back home will try to raise their kids the way they were raised without taking into account the environment or the times and this obviously backfires when the child ends up flying in the wrong direction..
 
very true akhee,good summary of my thoughts.

so i guess life is a bunch of lemony snickets, a series of unfortunate events :) lol. and Allah is testing us, so you just have to put up with what you dont have, for example, parents who are your good friends.
 
Well, couldn't he just have said " Make it Halal and thank Allah for this" ?

I mean, he made it look like it was something very,very wrong :s No wonder the guy killed himself.
 

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