Being single forever

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Maleki

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Assalam Walaykum. I am 35 years old male who does not want to get married. Let me tell you the reasoning why. When I was 20 years old , I fell in love with this girl and I wanted to get married to her. She felt the same about me , we spoke to our parents and we planned to get married after our studies. We haven't done anything, we didn't kiss or even hug each other .

I was so in love with her , that I took multiple Kassams that I'll always love her and I'll only marry her, and if I don't end up with her I'll remain single forever.

After campus , when she was 24 , she forcefully got married to someone else . The man she married also liked someone else but he got forced to marry her . I have remained single ever since then and I never ever broke my Kassams I made for her . She has forced me to find someone else , but each time I try with another girl , I end up in pain and I am heartbroken

So for that reason I have remained single and I plan to do so forever. To get distracted of the pain , I now focus only on the pleasure of Allah SWT and on myself. I read all my namaaz, donate to charity and I even performed Hajj. I still love the girl , and yes I know love before marriage is haraam. She still loves me , and her husband and her have never had intercourse because they don't love each other . He still loves the other girl . They're just living together but they don't love each other.

My question is , due to my patience and sabr , if the girl I like and I get placed in Jannah Inshallah. Will I be able to ask for her Jannah? Since everything is possible in Jannah

Jazakallah
 
:sl:

What a bizzare siuation you are in! And there's certain things about it that makes me think you and your ex are destined to be together

Hasn't she consummated her marraige at all? If this is the case then I think she can just walk away from that marraige and the marraige can be annulled by a sharia council of ulema

Tell her's and your story to some elders, maybe to some of your relatives and to hers, I'm sure if they know the truth of the situation they will think that her marraige has been a mismatch and you 2 should be married together and maybe they can arrange it...

If this is not possible, then you need to break your vow, do compensatory 3 fasts and follow the great sunnah of getting married. Why do you want to suffer being single all your life when it's against the sunnah too?

And what words did you utter when you made the promise not to marry again? If it was 'I promise to...' then it's not a sin to break a promise and a promise is not an oath or a vow,, if you have said 'by Allah I shall not...' or 'I swear by Allah ...' only then it's a vow and you can break it and do as explained above as that will be the lesser harm

To go against sunnah and not marry will be the greater harm...
 
Last edited:
Ahmed. said:
:sl:
To go against sunnah and not marry will be the greater harm...
Click to expand...

:wa:
Are you saying it's a great harm to go against this specific sunnah of getting married, or are you talking about going against any sunnah?
 
keiv said:
:wa:
Are you saying it's a great harm to go against this specific sunnah of getting married, or are you talking about going against any sunnah?
Click to expand...

:sl:

If we weigh harm of breaking an oath against omitting a sunnah then breaking the oath will be a far greater harm no doubt, so it's only against this marraige sunnah, and because the oath itself was improper to do, so best is to break this
 
Oh ok I see what you're saying.

In regards to the topic, if they've been married for the last ~10 years or so and have not been intimate with each other, I wonder how their parents feel about forcing the marriage upon them.
 

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