I read on several sites that after reading salat i nariyah 313 times Allah aza wa jal will do something miraculous to open a secret from the ghayb.
I also read in numerous Islamic sources that Prophet Khidr (as) may still be alive, and my mother said she may have once had an encounter with him, when a random stranger mysteriously went up to her and cryptically talked about the importance of being patient with one's children after seeing her lose her temper with me and my brother when we were little, and the man suddenly disappeared, and from that day forward she felt an eerie feeling about the encounter, and has always tried to be patient.
I was in my room sobbing, having argued with my mother about the right to have female guests over, after she promised that after watching a video on external motivation with ADHD adults and kids she promised that if I got all A's on my exams I could invite whoever I wanted. I apologized to my mother, and she didn't forgive me. Unfortunately, before reciting salat i nariyah about 100-150 times that day, i sinned (wont say what i did, against sunnah), which threw off my imaan, and i tried repenting, but it felt so good, i felt heedless. that's what led to the reemergence of my obsession with women. despite my lengthy period of high imaan. but as i was in bed, shaken by my experiences, i tried to comfort myself by fantasizing about cuddling with an imaginary daughter, not girlfriend......i had that same old fantasy where her mother is dead, and i am comforting her, but i myself began to sob.....suddenly, i felt a strange presence, and i thought due to my lack of knowledge on angels it to be Mikhail (who i thought to be the deliverer of news), but then i found myself talking to what I thought to be Khidr (as) They (or just he) told me that even when I had high imaan, i had many deficiencies in my behavior, and akhlaq, and imaan, and had deviant beliefs and hypocrisy, and that even before my major sin had i continued along my major path i would have ended up in the heights or in hell God forbid, and that I must repent and seriously committ to becoming a proper Muslim, and turn to my Lord in sincere repenetance and stay away from women and honor my mother. he also said i would get married at the age of 21 (I would finish college early and major in english, then go to graduate school and become a grant writer like i dreamed of at times), and then go on to law school later due to my desire for justice in the world. he also said i would marry an ahiska turk in my cemaat/jamaat.
was this a hallucination, fanciful imagination, or divine inspiration?
I also read in numerous Islamic sources that Prophet Khidr (as) may still be alive, and my mother said she may have once had an encounter with him, when a random stranger mysteriously went up to her and cryptically talked about the importance of being patient with one's children after seeing her lose her temper with me and my brother when we were little, and the man suddenly disappeared, and from that day forward she felt an eerie feeling about the encounter, and has always tried to be patient.
I was in my room sobbing, having argued with my mother about the right to have female guests over, after she promised that after watching a video on external motivation with ADHD adults and kids she promised that if I got all A's on my exams I could invite whoever I wanted. I apologized to my mother, and she didn't forgive me. Unfortunately, before reciting salat i nariyah about 100-150 times that day, i sinned (wont say what i did, against sunnah), which threw off my imaan, and i tried repenting, but it felt so good, i felt heedless. that's what led to the reemergence of my obsession with women. despite my lengthy period of high imaan. but as i was in bed, shaken by my experiences, i tried to comfort myself by fantasizing about cuddling with an imaginary daughter, not girlfriend......i had that same old fantasy where her mother is dead, and i am comforting her, but i myself began to sob.....suddenly, i felt a strange presence, and i thought due to my lack of knowledge on angels it to be Mikhail (who i thought to be the deliverer of news), but then i found myself talking to what I thought to be Khidr (as) They (or just he) told me that even when I had high imaan, i had many deficiencies in my behavior, and akhlaq, and imaan, and had deviant beliefs and hypocrisy, and that even before my major sin had i continued along my major path i would have ended up in the heights or in hell God forbid, and that I must repent and seriously committ to becoming a proper Muslim, and turn to my Lord in sincere repenetance and stay away from women and honor my mother. he also said i would get married at the age of 21 (I would finish college early and major in english, then go to graduate school and become a grant writer like i dreamed of at times), and then go on to law school later due to my desire for justice in the world. he also said i would marry an ahiska turk in my cemaat/jamaat.
was this a hallucination, fanciful imagination, or divine inspiration?
