Where do I even start. I'm fed up of life, everyday has become a struggle. I'm a complete failure to my familys eyes. I can't even face my parents, my brothers have done well so far and I feel I'm held at the back. Whenever something good turns out for me, it gets thrown back in my face. I make dua/pray to Allah(SWT) everyday even crying to him. However everyday keeps getting worse.. I'm even contemplating suicide but whenever I come round to it I don't even think what my family would think, I think about what would Allah think and what he would do if I do this. My friends have achieved much more than me while I'm walking in their shadow.
I really can't cope anymore, my imaan has just crumbled into pieces. I failed most of my life so far so what's the point of living? Sometimes I say to Allah take my life away. I can't sleep, my skin has gone pale, and I've lost my appetite. Even my father thinks I'm a failure, whenever I want to prove I'm not it never works for me.
Please help someone..
Bro/Sis, I cant count how many times I've felt like that, you just feel that death is the easy way out.
If you have failed in dunya terms, then think nothing of it, you've completely forgotten your purpose in this dunya, you aren't here to compete with friends or family in wordly success. I know how bad it can feel when you're left behind and everyone is succeeding in dunya, but remember this your success in dunya means nothing in the akhira. Its all about your deeds, your imaan, closeness to Allah.
If you've failed in terms of deen, then remember Allah is merciful. This deen is all that matters in this dunya, you have to pass this trial. Do not fail this, you're still alive so fix it and make the most of the time you have. Don't worry about others, just focus on yourself.
Family pressure just tops everything up and makes everything much worser, you're gonna have to take it in until you can do something about it. I remember how my mum used to make me feel like a burden upon her because I couldn't get a part-time job and support myself let alone her, but now I have one she doesn't say a word.
If you're doing good in deen and everything, than dont think you're unsuccessful because of failure in dunya, because Allah has his reasons for making some people successful in dunya and others not whether or not theyre pious. Those friends you see may be hopeless in the akhira, so dont come to conclusions.
Dont give up on doing dua to Allah, because he is your only hope, everything is coming from Allah
Remember you don't have a choice, you cant commit suicide or you're screwed in the akhira which is infinite times worse.
