Compromising to fit in??

[anonymous]

Salam

As Muslims how do we maintain any sort of social life without compromising our faith.

I know it sounds extreme but every aspect of society seems to intoxicated with fitnah to some extent. How do we maintain a medium between fulfilling our role as Muslims and also interacting on a social level with friends and family.

I know strictly speaking we shouldn't compromise with our faith but we all know
That's not realistically possible especially'in the West.

As an example the wedding season is upon us yet the trend seems to be to hold a lavish event with no regard for segregation etc.

Do we simply not attend such gatherings which could harm familial relations. If we do go where do we draw a line in compromising our values. This is a real issue and ideally simply not attending would be simple solution but failure to attend can have implications in terms of weakening family ties.

How do we deal with such scenarios??

 

[Zzz_]

Salaam,

It depends on what is your definition of social life. There will always be fitna in the society, regardless of what society you are in. Which is why most hated of places to Allah is the marketplace.

We shouldn't compromise our deen and realistically that is possible, the question is how much are you willing to stick to it.

I have been to mixed weddings and islamic ones. I haven't been to wild mixed weddings, only mixed in the sense that the whole families sat together one one table rather then have separate men/women sections. And i have been to strictly islamic weddings like that of the east, where men and women section is different. They go in and sit down and a small talk is given by the groom's family and maybe the imam too and then each side is free to get up and get food. They eat and socialize and then go home at end of the time reserved for the event.

So it is definitely possible, the question is how strong is your convictions of that of your family to stick to the deen. A friend of mine wanted to do it strictly islamic way but his in-laws had other ideas, so it turned out to be a cultural wedding. Another friend and his in-laws both were islamic so it was done islamically.

Regarding other occasions. That too will depend on your convictions. All of my relatives used do birthday parties and we stopped after going to college. They would invite us and we would tell them no, and why not. At first they called us extreme and all, and i'm sure they kept backbiting us for years but they did stop inviting us to those occasions and invites us to other normal family gatherings.

So how you deal with such scenarios depends entirely on your convictions and the type of support available to you by your family.

 

[piXie]

:wasalamex

That's not realistically possible especially'in the West.

Why live there then?

 

[anonymous]

It's bit hard to migrate especially when all your family is living here. I think it is possible to integrate just a case of making a few compromises that's all. I'd love to have migrated to the middle East especially with the growing economy and it being so much better for kids to grow up in a more Islamic environment. There's so much peer pressure in the West to fit in be it at college or work and this is where the clash in values occurs.

 

[M.I.A.]

The question is not about compromising..

Its about being able to maintain your morality while compromising.

The quran goes some way into saying how early adopters of islam were perceived..

I have no idea how to put that into context.

if you can keep your clothes clean all day.. your doing ok.

Because many of us are already held by cumpulsion.

:wasalamex


Why live there then?

Its not over until you consider yourself a second class citizen.

 

[anonymous]

Maintaining your morality is easier said than done with respect. For example in the West it's become the norm for women to study and pursue a career. Obviously they have to observe the hijab and many do May Allah keep them steadfast upon this. However once they enter the place of study etc there are often situations where one has to make a decision between their morality and fitting in which isn't Very easy. as an example say the college organise a trip and male
Students also travel the majority will all take part whereas we know this is not correct but in not taking part it creates a negative image if you get my point.

 

[M.I.A.]

College's have an authoritative body.

Any infringements on a persons rights have proper channels for approaching them.


..say no to drugs.

 

[azc]

SalamAs Muslims how do we maintain any sort of social life without compromising our faith. I know it sounds extreme but every aspect of society seems to intoxicated with fitnah to some extent. How do we maintain a medium between fulfilling our role as Muslims and also interacting on a social level with friends and family. I know strictly speaking we shouldn't compromise with our faith but we all knowThat's not realistically possible especially'in the West.As an example the wedding season is upon us yet the trend seems to be to hold a lavish event with no regard for segregation etc.Do we simply not attend such gatherings which could harm familial relations. If we do go where do we draw a line in compromising our values. This is a real issue and ideally simply not attending would be simple solution but failure to attend can have implications in terms of weakening family ties.How do we deal with such scenarios??

From Islamic point of view we're not allowed to attend such gathering as has unislamic milieu.

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Salam

As Muslims how do we maintain any sort of social life without compromising our faith.

I know it sounds extreme but every aspect of society seems to intoxicated with fitnah to some extent. How do we maintain a medium between fulfilling our role as Muslims and also interacting on a social level with friends and family.

I know strictly speaking we shouldn't compromise with our faith but we all know
That's not realistically possible especially'in the West.

As an example the wedding season is upon us yet the trend seems to be to hold a lavish event with no regard for segregation etc.

Do we simply not attend such gatherings which could harm familial relations. If we do go where do we draw a line in compromising our values. This is a real issue and ideally simply not attending would be simple solution but failure to attend can have implications in terms of weakening family ties.

How do we deal with such scenarios??

:wa:

It is absolutely possible to maintain a social life, integrate within society in terms of benefiting the communities we live in whilst at the same time not comprising our faith. It comes down to simply choosing between right and wrong, choosing the right company and putting the pleasure of Allah before anyone or anything else. For example we are who our friends are. Islam encourages us to choose our company wisely as we will get influenced if they are partaking in evil or have a bad character etc.

Therefore we must be very careful with whom we befriend because if they are partaking in good works and have a good character and morals and live their lives within the boundaries of Islam then surely this will also positively impact upon us. It is also said that the bad friends will be our enemies in the day of Judgement and will backstab us in the court of Allah.

In the western societies today we have this new concept of "integration" and that Muslims in particular (as we are the target for most hate) do not integrate into society. When asked to define what they mean by integration then they have failed to this day to provide a proper definition. Essentially it is as Allah says in the Qur'an that the disbelievers will never be happy with us until we abandon our religion and live how they do. This is part of a bigger agenda. Therefore we must never abandon any aspect of our deen to appease the disbelievers. If we live in accordance with Islamic values and teachings then Muslims are amongst the most helpful, hospitable, charitable and kind people. We should be the best towards our neighbors and help them as much as we can, be of a benefit to our communities and give some of our time volunteering to help the poor and needy. This is true integration.

With regards to work situations then only to converse to the opposite gender to what is necessary and for women to observe the full Hijaab. When it comes to work outings and parties then again choose wisely. If it involves going to a restaurant which serves alcohol or going to a bar then there is no compulsion for anyone to attend such places just to "appease" our colleagues.

Who is the sustainer? Them or Allah? Who are we trying to please? Will pleasing our colleagues earn us success in this world and the next? These are questions we must ask ourselves when we are out in such situations. When it comes to family gatherings and events then again we must judge the situation in accordance with what will benefit us in this world and the next and whether it will please or displease Allah. So if the gathering or even involves free mixing and music then without a doubt we know what is right or wrong in our hearts. Free mixing gatherings and event are the places shaythan loves the most and these are the places Allah loves the most. Even if it involves our close family then who do we love more? Them or Allah? Who do we want to please more? Them or Allah? There is no obedience to parents or family when it comes to being disobedient to Allah.

The Prophet (Sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “He who displeased Allah for seeking the pleasure of people, Allah is displeased with him and those people are also displeased, for pleasing whom he had earned Allah’s displeasure. And he who pleases Allah, although by it he displeased people, Allah is pleased with him, and also those people whom he had displeased for pleasing Allah become pleased with him. Allah makes him splendid and his speech and acts in the eyes of others beautiful.” [Tibrani]

So we should kindly explain this to family members involved and advise them also to not partake in such events and gatherings. If they condemn us for wanting to please Allah then the loss is not ours. Alternatively we can invite those family involved to a segregated meal either in our homes or out or send a nice gift to soften their hearts but if they have any imaan then they would understand that we are not attending based on our desires but that we do not want to displease, anger or disobey Allah.