Confused about Istikhara; please help

[mary_islam09]

A few months ago, the person I was going to marry and I broke up. A week after we broke up I was praying and asked god for a sign that we will get back together and get married, whether it was straight through me or a friend. That same day he bumped into my friend at a restaurant and they talked about me for an hour and told her he will contact me soon. A few weeks ago my aunt did Istikhara prayer for us and that day I had a very strong positive feeling it was going to be ok, I just needed to be patient. I went to bed that night and had a dream we were both in all white back together. A week later she repeats the Istikhara and I did not know. I felt the same feeling that night, fell asleep and had a dream he came to my work and was in a light shirt and gave me an engagement ring, and four days later bumped into his brother at a restaurant and the first thing he said is "I never come here, its funny that I run into you." I called her and she said she wants to do it three times for optimal results. She then repeats it again and once again I do not know. I was crying in bed and then suddenly stopped and said to myself, you have prayed for things in the past and it took five years for you to get the results you wanted so be patient and it will be fine. The next day my aunt called and told me she did the prayer the night before. Although I felt positive all three times, all three times I told myself I need to be patient, it'll happen in time. However the third time, I got injured and my friend called him and instead of contacting me he sent his friend to make sure I was ok. I wasn't sure if this is considered an obstacle or because he sent someone he is just still upset. The results of the Istikhara had confused me so I began to cry one night after prayer and picked up a photo of my grandfather who has passed away. I cried to the photo, kissed it, and said "gido please bring him back to me, I need your help." The next day I woke up and my mother called me and said "I had a dream of your grandfather, he asked me what was wrong and I told him I miss you. He said I miss you all too, but I know you're sad because your daughter is sad, please tell her she's going to be ok, she just needs to be patient."

How would you interpret this istkhara? Are my positive "be patient" feelings, dreams, and message from my grandpa sufficient enough to consider this a positive Istikhara or should I give up and move on?

 

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

Why are you not praying istikhara for yourself? Also what is the istikhara for?? I don't think you understand the concept of istikhara.

 

[mary_islam09]

Assalamu Alaikum

Why are you not praying istikhara for yourself? Also what is the istikhara for?? I don't think you understand the concept of istikhara.

I'm not well versed in it and my aunt is more religious and speaks arabic. The Istikhara was if he was good for me or not.

 

[Studentofdeed]

Sister you deserve better. No man is a real man if he plays with you and breaks up over some small reason. This is ridiculous. Do not wait and throw your life over this foolish person. Your life is not a game. Allah will give you someone better. I know it hurts but you will later thank Allah for it. Istikhara is asking Allah if it is good for you then Allah will make it easy, if it is bad then he will make it hard. There should not be so many obstacles if it was good for you. Allah is saving you and has something better for you. May Allah give you the best husband possible. And for istikhara you have to do it yourself. Not someone else but you

 

[*charisma*]

I'm not well versed in it and my aunt is more religious and speaks arabic. The Istikhara was if he was good for me or not.

Well, if you pray then you can perform istikhara. Very easy to do. No one can perform it on your behalf and her being religious or speaking arabic is really irrelevant. Secondly, istikhara is not connected with dreams. It's connected to events that happen either pushing you towards whatever you asked for, or removing it out of your life. Thirdly, "if he is good for me or not" is not really what istikhara is for. You guys already broke up so I don't understand what the intention to make the istikhara is for. If you were potentially going to marry him, then that is when istikhara should be made, but considering there's no plans put in place from either side to do that, then there's no point in wondering whether he is good for you if there's no intentions of marriage. I say just move on and don't take things literally. This is life. It's clear you'd like him back in your life, but he does not seem to want the same, so cut your losses and learn to pray istikhara for the next time.

Istikharah Prayer - (asking Allaah subhaanahu wa ta'aala for guidance.)

Sister you deserve better. No man is a real man if he plays with you and breaks up over some small reason. This is ridiculous. Do not wait and throw your life over this foolish person. Your life is not a game. Allah will give you someone better. I know it hurts but you will later thank Allah for it. Istikhara is asking Allah if it is good for you then Allah will make it easy, if it is bad then he will make it hard. There should not be so many obstacles if it was good for you. Allah is saving you and has something better for you. May Allah give you the best husband possible. And for istikhara you have to do it yourself. Not someone else but you

She never said he played with her heart or broke up with her. Let's not make any assumptions here. If it didn't work out then it didn't work out. No one has to be the bad guy. Worse for him to have stayed in something he didn't want to be in. It's impossible either way to not feel hurt or heartbroken, but better to be real about it.