Confused and Lost

[Lexs]

I was in a relationship with a man for over a year during that time I decided to convert.Im proud of this but now im stuck we made a mistake and im having a baby which I know is not a mistake or the babies fault. Before we found out my BF said he needed to go home France but he would be back. He also told me that he told his family all about the baby.Well I have not heard from him since he left but once its been three weeks and I also found out he lied never told anyone about the baby.Now I feel like the last year was a lie im having a baby and im so filled with anger I pray that I can move on and do the best for my baby but im so new to Islam im afraid I cant teach him right and im afraid that my hate about what has happened with his father will interfere with how I feel. Please im so lost and hurt does anyone have advice?

 

[Ramadhan]

First, I congratulate you on reverting back to Islam. This is the most important thing in the whole world. Allah SWT has given you hidaya and it is by His will that you found strength and conviction to choose the straight path. And May Allah ease all your affairs and give you goodness in this life and after. Amiin.

and what is past is the past, and InshaAllah all your past mistakes will be turned into good deeds if you sincerely repent. It seems from the post that you wrote, you are a strong person.

Now about your bf, judging by your ex bf irresponsible reaction, maybe it's for the best that he won't be around to raise your child anyway. Is he a muslim?
if he's not, you cannot marry to him anyway before he revert to Islam, and if he's a muslim you will also have to wait until you give birth before you can marry him.

Do you live with family who will help you when you give birth or to take care of the baby? Or do you know any sisters in your community who can help you and be friends with you?

I can't offer much advice but I will make du'a that Allah will give you solutions to all your problems that will bring you happiness in this world and hereafter. Amiin.

Please continue praying and make du'a to Allah SWT and ask him for help, but also do not abandon your obligations as a muslim.

I find that reciting and reading the Qur'an ease whatever pain and troubles I have. If you can't recite the qur'an yet, you can always listen to the Qur'an while reading the translations.

 

[tigerkhan]

feeling sad by reading these lines. anyway i blv there is always some lesson behind every accident. so what is gone, forgot it (i know its not that easy but u can try) and try to learn the best from it. also thanks and pray to GOD that he has given u the worth of eman and islam. HE is our real caretaker and Rub. Islam is His great nihmat/favour for us to save our lives from pbm in both this world and hereafter. so try to learn it more and as much u practice it, ur life will be peaceful and u will be safe and protected from all such types of mishap. bcz ALLAH SWT cares us and He didn't allow these relation is islam.

 

[جوري]

I am sorry for your difficulties sister..
I believe God has given you a new chance to start fresh without this guy, he is a bad influence, and you don't want your child to grow up without morals that it is OK to bed women and leave them pregnant.. I am sorry but he sounds just awful. .. it is amazing in the midst of this that Allah swt has guided you to know that this guy doesn't represent the religion of Islam. I'd try to get in touch with an Islamic center, see if they can hook you up with the right people and classes and start life anew with a fresh page..

A baby is a blessing though, may Allah swt make your affairs easy for you insha'Allah..

if you have any questions meanwhile post them on the forum, we are all brothers and sisters here..

 

[Lexs]

Thank you all. Im still very new I only converted a few months ago he was the only person I knew to help me. I dont live close to my family and they have not accepted my change. I will look for a Islamic center near me I think that will help.Although im still very hurt and scared I know what ever reason my BF had for leaving I believe they were good for him and I forgive him. I know Allah will guide me through this it wont be easy but thats ok.

 

[جوري]

Thank you all. Im still very new I only converted a few months ago he was the only person I knew to help me. I dont live close to my family and they have not accepted my change. I will look for a Islamic center near me I think that will help.Although im still very hurt and scared I know what ever reason my BF had for leaving I believe they were good for him and I forgive him. I know Allah will guide me through this it wont be easy but thats ok.

we only fear things we don't know, death, the ocean, space a new situation in completely new unfamiliar territory... but learning decreases fears and making friends also does the same thing..It is kind of you to forgive this guy, I can't think of any reason why the mother of his child and unborn infant ought not to come first, but put your full faith in God and surely he'll not neglect you, he'll pave for you roads of bliss surely in this life and the next.

If you have any questions at all as pertains to centers, or Islamic matters or whatever else, please just feel free to ask here..

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

congratulations on your comversion.

about your child, imo you could
1) wait first until you feel more comfortable and a more stronger practicing Muslim...when you feel you have reached this level, get married to a good pious Muslim man (he could be a revert aswell) so that he can support you in raising your child. or 2) hit 2 birds with one stone by marrying a Muslim man who will help you become a better Muslim and will be example to your child/help you raise him/her.