confused??

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ASALM U ALIKUM
what islam says about keeping girlfreinds.

i dont have one and i didnt had one in my past life. but since all my frinds have girl friends and most of the time the topic in boys is this particular topic i consider myself to be ...like an unadjusted person...i am not fitting here...

should i start keeping girlfriends ...? which i dont want , i dont the exact reason but i had some psyco probelm with girls i felt more attracted to them than normal since child hood since i didnt had access to them and i couldnt fulfil my desires i started acted abnormaly and i stayed away from women .

now im 22 and i am sorrounded by females here and Alhamdulliah i am alright now and i dont have any complexities now .......but this question is confusing me???
what should i do.
 
[FONT=Helvetica, Arial]Asalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu,

GET MARRIED A.S.A.P.!!!
[/FONT]
Al-Tirmidhi 3118, Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab , Tirmidhi transmitted it
The Prophet (SA) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third."

Narrated 'Abdullah:

We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty, and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."


~Al-Bukhari~

​
You want to have a girlfriend/s just 'cuz your friends have them correct? So if all of them start drinking and doing all other things prohibited in Islam, then you would do so as well, just so you can "fit in"?



Choose your friends wisely:
​

Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said: "A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look at whom you befriend."

~Abu Dawood and At-Tirmidhi~


"And (remember) the Day when the wrong-doer will bite his hands and say: Woe to me! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger. Woe to me! If only I had not taken so- and-so as a friend! He has led me astray from this Reminder (the Qur'an) after it had come to me. And Satan is ever a deserter to man in the hour of need."

[25:27-29] ​


"Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another, except al-Muttaqoon (i.e. those who have Taqwah)."

[43:67]


May Allah guide us all. Ameen.
​
 
Girfriends and boyfriends are a headache. Its so childish the things they go through. I knw this because all my friends are with someone. They go for about a couple of weeks happily then they start fighting for stupid reasons, like the guy innocently took one picture with another girl.

Actually the other day a girl came into my sociology class crying. I though maybe somehting happned to her family or somehting. turned out, she broke up with her "beloved" boyfriend.

Why would you want such a distraction in your life? Isnt there more important stuff to worry about.

Anyway, if you think ur ready, get married.
 
Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatallahi wa baraktuh

sinner?? said:
ASALM U ALIKUM
what islam says about keeping girlfreinds.

i dont have one and i didnt had one in my past life. but since all my frinds have girl friends and most of the time the topic in boys is this particular topic i consider myself to be ...like an unadjusted person...i am not fitting here...

should i start keeping girlfriends ...? which i dont want , i dont the exact reason but i had some psyco probelm with girls i felt more attracted to them than normal since child hood since i didnt had access to them and i couldnt fulfil my desires i started acted abnormaly and i stayed away from women .

now im 22 and i am sorrounded by females here and Alhamdulliah i am alright now and i dont have any complexities now .......but this question is confusing me???
what should i do.
Click to expand...

Try to stay away from people that weaken your iman. If they can't help you strengthen your iman and supress your desires, then they are not beneficial to hang out with. It will only make it harder on you.

As for having a girlfriend, its haram. Don't even try to overthink it. Get married, try to fast, lower your gaze, or do anything else to keep your feelings under control.

I can get all logical with it, but there's no reason to. Just obey Allah subhana wa ta'ala and you will be set for life inshallah. Nothing is better than keeping yourself pure.


fi aman Allah
w'salaam
 
asalam u alaikum

thanks all for ur concern.

i have felt alot better now. thanks.

one another thing that teases me is that ( it may seem worthless as it is) a question keeps coming in my mind that ... you dont keep girl freinds because u cant..??

this thing just ...depresses me and i dont feel well at all. and i think for justifications for not keeping gfs ......on and on.... untill ii just become .... u know...my fore head seems being squeezed. (i think its tension and depression).

Allahmdulliah i dont any complexities now,(as ialready had told that i had some inferior complex earlier.) i am an educated handsome man , and well behaved.

i know its the right path but some one in my mind says that many things in ur life are not good (gunahs)let keeping gfs be one of them and one extra gunah would make no differnce.

and on ther other hand i have become totally obstiante that whether it be religious , ethics or what ever thing that stops me .. i will do every thing else buti will just not do this particular thing....

plz help me....its becoming pyso probelm.

wasaaam.
 
Tell them you don't keep girlfriends because its HARAAM, and pleasing Allah is more important to you then pleasing friends whose world evolves around their girlfriends.

Ruling on taking boyfriends or girlfriends


Just remember,

Rasulullah S.A.W. said, "It is better for a man that a steel nail be driven through the center of his head rather than if he touches the palm of a strange women."

Prophet S.A.W. said, "The one who touches the hand of a woman without having a lawful relationship with her, will have an ember placed on his palm on the Day of Judgment." (Takmalah, Fath alQadir)
 
sinner?? said:
ASALM U ALIKUM
what islam says about keeping girlfreinds.

i dont have one and i didnt had one in my past life. but since all my frinds have girl friends and most of the time the topic in boys is this particular topic i consider myself to be ...like an unadjusted person...i am not fitting here...

should i start keeping girlfriends ...? which i dont want , i dont the exact reason but i had some psyco probelm with girls i felt more attracted to them than normal since child hood since i didnt had access to them and i couldnt fulfil my desires i started acted abnormaly and i stayed away from women .

now im 22 and i am sorrounded by females here and Alhamdulliah i am alright now and i dont have any complexities now .......but this question is confusing me???
what should i do.
Click to expand...

hola,

there are these kinds of challenges everywhere... i was one of only a few of my friends in high school and college that did not engage in premarital sex, and i did (at first) feel a great deal of pressure and sometimes a little bit out. but this is different for girls since virginity is considered (even in the West) a good trait, whereas virginity in boys is considered by western standards weakness.

i learned that these constructs were in my own head. once i just accepted that i am a certain kind of person and the people around me were different kinds of people, and it did not matter to them i became more comfortable. besides: sex, relationships, money, and other private matters are private... they are not to be shared with the world. people (and girls) will appreciate and respect you for keeping your private matters to yourself, it is gentlemanly and makes you interesting because it adds a degree of mystery to you.

when you are ready you should pursue marriage in a manner befitting the customs of your religion and culture. do not act like something you are not, there are very few things worse than being untrue to yourself.

que Dios te bendiga
 
:salamext:

i know its the right path but some one in my mind says that many things in ur life are not good (gunahs)let keeping gfs be one of them and one extra gunah would make no differnce.
Click to expand...

That's the shaytaan brother.

Try and change your friends and keep in better company...
 
Assalamu Alaikum,

Should you keep a girlfriend? it depends on alot of things but a suitable response would be according to your age and if your old enough then you should get married but come on bro your asking people wheather you should keep a girlfriend or not? you might aswell ask them what colour socks to wear or what kind of toothpaste to use. Im sure you know the basic rights and wrongs in islam, islam does not allow girlfriends or boyfriends but if you cant get married for some reason and not having a girlfriend will make you commit more major sins that Allah will not forgive then i think it would be better for you to have a girlfriend, wheather or not your able to get one is another matter. If everyone tells you to get a girlfriend what will you do then? go to the city and say "wa go on babes?" to every glamerous girl you see? or will you look for love on the internet?

We are all weak at the end of the day but if we submit ourselves to Allah and His commands then we will have nothing to worry about.
 

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