Controlling Influences Around Me

[AnonymousPoster]

Salaam All. I have honestly had enough of everything. Whatever i do and where ever i go i get asked 'where do you go' and the usual questions which infuriate me. This has led to me not bothering going out at all. I feel like im controlled and not in control of myself.

I honestly do not know what to do. First 20 days of Ramadan, fantastic. The last 10 have not been going so good, its mainly due to people around me. They talk in such an aggressive manner its hard to not reply back in the same way albeit more ferociously. I get a sinking feeling even when im in the same room as the others. Its hard to hold the anger back and more often then not i just stay quiet but when i do go off on one... I explode and later on i feel guilty as hell

The most horrible thing about this is, I've had to put up with this for years on end. No one around me can speak like a normal human being should. No love, no affection no nothing. It angers me knowing this and many other issues have effectively ruined my whole life.

The confidence isn't there, nothing is there. I wish i could just walk out right now but i cant. I'm fully aware there are people all around the world far worse off then me and i cry for them so do not bring this up

The mess I am in is not my fault. I know im not strong enough to cope with what ive been through hence why i am and have totally lost it. I see other people happy, living their lives, working etc yet i have potential but i cannot unleash it due to the people around me. Its sickening as i have lost many years of my life due to this.

I apologize for this post and any advice would be appreciated. Thank You

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Can the mods delete this thread. Thanks

 

[zakirs]

Sorry bro/sis i cannot give any advice.But may Allah help you in your difficulties.

 

[cat eyes]

aww you poor thing and who are those people making you angry in the holy month? why would they have a problem with you going out? just be very careful how you treat you parents because they only care about you at the end of day if it is your parents who are nagging so just leave the room instead of getting angry. Allah was punishing those muslims who were losing there temper with there parents if they are telling them not to do such things and the child dose not listen.. Allah hates this so much so go out and get some air or have a smoke or anything if it cools your anger

 

[Eliphaz]

anonymousgender: sounds like life is pretty hard right now.

I know how it feels, being a prisoner in your own home, being interrogated 24/7. "I feel like I am not in control of myself". That is exactly how I felt. How do you deal with that kind of psychological pressure? :hmm:

Mash'Allah, I feel that although we live in a "developed" society where there is little poverty, few major diseases and no war going on over our heads, I would say conversely many of us have a war going on inside of our heads. Anxiety, depression and other psychological illnesses, as we try to live our life according to higher morals whilst the outer society tries to tear us away from these, trying to reduce distil us into blind consumers, selling us a false 'happiness' that is based on acceptance, pride and pretty much faking it until its true.

I'm not saying this is your situation, but rather the situation for a lot of people out there, Muslims and non-Muslims alike. I suffered from depression for 3 years without knowing it. And yes this is a genuine illness like heart disease, once you have it you have it for life, it may be hereditary and/or caused by experiences, but it's how you manage it that makes the difference. I blamed my family when their strictness was just their way of trying to counteract the morally bankrupt society we live in.

No-one is truly happy all the time. They say ignorance is bliss, and I would agree those who are constantly in bliss are ignorant as they have little or no fear of their Creator.

A lot of what you say I was once saying every day: 'the confidence is not there, nothing is there', and also 'i've lost so many years of my life'. You've lost no time - time is relative. Forget about the past. Just look to the future - it is yours to make of it what you will. If you feel you have depression as I did, I would suggest, as I did, to get counselling. It works, and it is not something to be ashamed of. And also reading the Qur'an to keep your imaan high - As Allah says in the Qur'an: "We reveal of the Qur’an that which is a healing and a mercy for believers".

May Allah help you to overcome all this, ameen.

 

[Rasema]

:wa:
For example, I walk into my bedroom and my sister has messed it up again after I've told her billions of times to not to. Before freaking out)), remember.... ALLAH PUT US ON THIS PLANET TO TEST US BETWEEN REMEMBERING HIM OR FORGETTING HIM. Would I remember, during that occasion, that Allah is testing me this way to see If I'll remember Him and accept bad and good from him. Or would I get out of control and act like a boss? Later feel bad. Trust me, it is easier to calm down(remembering Allah) and do the right thing rather than feel bad, feel that Allah is disappointed at you. One of the Ashaba,r.a., said that it’s easier to do the right thing than ask for forgiveness(my wording).

 

[Humbler_359]

:wa:
For example, I walk into my bedroom and my sister has messed it up again after I've told her billions of times to not to. Before getting pissed, remember.... ALLAH PUT US ON THIS PLANET TO TEST US BETWEEN REMEMBERING HIM OR FORGETTING HIM. Would I remember, during that occasion, that Allah is testing me this way to see If I'll remember Him and accept bad and good from him. Or would I get out of control and act like a boss? Later feel bad. Trust me it is easier to calm down and do the right thing rather than feel bad, feel that Allah is disappointed at you. One of the Ashaba,r.a. said that it’s easier to do the right thing than ask for forgiveness

Sister Rasema,

Well, let me explain regarding 'pissed off' or 'getting pissed', it is NOT appropriate words. It is just NOT right words. I know what you mean but pissed off should be eliminated. :hiding:

You can use another words instead pissed. Click here and more here

 

[syriana]

It is one of your tests in life, you must persevere through it and inshallah you'll have a great reward in the end. If these bad influences are friends, then you should slowly cut them off one by one. If they are cousins, then just be friendly with them and don't hang out with them, just socialize at family activities.