Criteria for Spouse Selection

[Lightingshine]

As salamu Alaikum members, I have observed many different methods of selecting marriage partner.Ironically where I live and majority of family structure base no importance to daughters choice in seeking a life partner.Either she is pressurised by family members to accept her proposal so that patents are fulfilling their responsibility of her marriage or she is blackmailed cursed for not accepting proposal that doesent match her own criteria.Sadly this is a harsh truth she faces which contrasts with teachings of Islam.Muslim lady has a choice to choose her spouse which she feels content and safe with.My question to all of you is what is the proper method of a muslim lady seeking spouse specifically a divorced lady who went through a failed marriage before,how can she find partner for life when her family are not being cooperative in this regard?What is the proper way for her?I hope my answer is in light of a divorced lady who remarries and the Islamic way for it?Kindly give your opinions here thankyou

 

[Umm Abed]

Wa alaikum salam sister, welcome and thanks for your post.

This is a sad case where the family's actions are highly unislamic. Islam allows freedom to choose who you want to marry. But some parents choose to disappoint their daughters for selfish reasons which is why many such mismatched marriages break down.

So now to your question, how would she make the right choices? Firstly, if she has any family member who will support her in her search that would help greatly, and if she doesnt have family to support her the next step would be to approach the Imam of the masjid who can support and speak for her on her behalf

If she's still trying to find a partner word should be spread about it, and her friends should support her in this, and then she can make istikhara if in doubt about the right man and take it from there.

Hope this answer helped.