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Thread: departing from the one you love...
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...when they were never really yours. you loved them SO MUCH... but u know you cannot be together... everytime you think of them your heart hurts...you see them every weekend because they are related to you...there isn't a hope in hell you can get together...

how to calm the heart down? how to stop it from hurting? practical advice please...
 
never look at the face again


i cant give more practical advice then that



never EVER look at the face! next time he comes just look down, look away, stay away as much as you can.



now whatever excuse the shaytaan gives you for saying you cant do this , THROW IT OUT! because NO ONE will force you to look at him... take this advice inshaAllaah


may Allaah ease your burdens
 
Assalamu Alaikum

Theres no way to calm the heart down, theres no way to stop it from hurting, whats simply happening is your facing the consequence of your actions. If you didnt want to do the time you shouldnt have done the crime any? im not saying your a criminal its just an example but no of course you will recover it wont last forever just give it time and focus on your deen because that will help alot InshaAllah.

Salam
 
...when they were never really yours...you loved them SO MUCH... but u know you cannot be together... everytime you think of them your heart hurts...you see them every weekend because they are related to you...there isn't a hope in hell you can get together...

how to calm the heart down? how to stop it from hurting? practical advice please...
Click to expand...

AssalamuAlaykum

'There isnt a hope in hell you can be together'.... That struck me. We all know we're heading for one of the two - heaven or hell. Just wanted to remind you of that. Lets make sure our impatience and despair doesnt get us thrown into the pits of hell.

It'll hurt, I can guarantee you that. To let go of somebody can scar the heart in the worst possible way...but only if you let it. But the sad fact is, it has to be done. Know that pain in this Dunya is worth it....every single prick you feel in this Prison is worth it just to get Jannah in the aakhirah.

Know that you're not the only one to have felt this way, know that only a week ago there was somebody else in your place, and with patience and perseverance you CAN get through this. You KNOW that Allah does not overburden any soul. You KNOW that in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest, So immerse yourself in His Dhikr, keep your heart and mind occupied in the remembrance of the one you KNOW loves you. Rather than in the remebrance of the one you know can never be yours.

You say he/she is related to you and that you see them often. Lower your gaze and keep outta their way, thats all I can say about that. I'm sorry.

May Allah give you strength and sabr. May He strengthen your Imaan. Thats all you need. No Fish in you life can beat the bond you have with Allah.

WassalamuAlaykum
 
:sl:

^ They all stink?

I don't think there is any practical advice to make the heart stop hurting and crying for it wants so bad... Your heart does as it wants, no matter how much your mind tries to guide it away. You gotta keep fighting though, but the pain won't go away overnight. Several months down the line tho you will feel complete freedom inshaAllah.

Even though you're related, isn't there any way for you to just completely avoid? When he's around, don't be in the same room, just walk away. Don't try to be nice, don't try to talk, just become completely cold towards him... If you try to open the doors when he's closed it, you're just gonna suffer more. Don't bring more pain on yourself, you don't need that.

And occupy your mind with other stuff. Read some Islamic books, go to the library, spend more time with friends and family...just don't let him enter your thoughts for as long as possible. You will end up thinking of him for a while, but still...fight it... You can overcome this sis... <3
 
How to calm the heart down from hurting, is to take the source of the pain away. Block all connections with him and don't even give him a glance, even if it's MSN, delete or block him. Insha'Allah things will be solved then.
 
Assalam walaikum
i lived the same situaution about one years ago, and however hard i tried, i still love that one person... it doesn't help saying you sinned or other people preaching it to you, i profited from that heartbreak to get close to Allah but please beware, with time, shaitaan tempts me about this, and i don't know about you, but i do blindly get into shaitaan's alluring plans... so i think the only way is to seek refuge and help with Allah...
 
JσℓιєFℓєυя;975472 said:
No Offensh.
Click to expand...

none taken



although some advice can hurt



trust me



just trust me

it can hurt in the sense that it leads to no good, but only drags the person further into their problems
so sometimes no advice is better
 
IbnAbdulHakim said:
none taken



although some advice can hurt



trust me



just trust me

it can hurt in the sense that it leads to no good, but only drags the person further into their problems
so sometimes no advice is better
Click to expand...

Depends on the person then innay.

But sometimes it works.

Trust me

Just trust me

tried it before

Worked

So what if it hurts

Learn to deal with it
 
Keep yourself busy. If you will have the entire day what to do, you will not have time to think at love affairs. :-[
 
JσℓιєFℓєυя;975533 said:
Depends on the person then innay.

But sometimes it works.

Trust me

Just trust me

tried it before

Worked

So what if it hurts

Learn to deal with it
Click to expand...


ya dont getsh it do ya?


basically imagine ur hearts achin and bakin and someone comes up to you givin advice which reminds u more o dis person talkin about all the emotional stuff and u start reminiscin and things get heated inside where instead u can jus tell teh person " DO THIS" wivout getting into all the emotional rapture and ensure the person has a nice and healthy ache free heart !



gets it?
 
Tania that's pretty good advice mashaAllah.

the easiest I think and the most practical is to distract yourself, that way you won't hurt thinking about trying to stop connections etc it'll happen automatically...

get into some sort of deen classes, thats what you need. they'll distract you and deen is the sort of thing that you can't just leave behind you at the class- you take it with you wherever you go. back home.


the other thing is you need to talk to some sort of psychotherapist to deal with your feelings in a healthy and positive way inshaAllah. this way you can get it out cos obviously you can't exactly talk to your family about it.
 
IbnAbdulHakim said:
ya dont getsh it do ya?


basically imagine ur hearts achin and bakin and someone comes up to you givin advice which reminds u more o dis person talkin about all the emotional stuff and u start reminiscin and things get heated inside where instead u can jus tell teh person " DO THIS" wivout getting into all the emotional rapture and ensure the person has a nice and healthy ache free heart !



gets it?
Click to expand...

My heart isnt like your heart, niether is hers like anybody else's.

Different types of advice works for different people.

And a 'DO THIS' doesnt work.

Well not for me,

You know what, forget it. I'll edit out my posts if it makes u happy
 
^ no need to edit i get what you mean



everyones different





but i thought everyone feels the same heartache...





im out of this thread, assalamu alaikum
 
IbnAbdulHakim said:
^ no need to edit i get what you mean



everyones different





but i thought everyone feels the same heartache...





im out of this thread, assalamu alaikum
Click to expand...

watever

like everybody feels the same pain when they fall?

No....how flawed

some ppl are stronger and feel less pain. others arent.

blah. waste of time