Detached Heart

[Miss khan]

Asalaam alekom

I have been living a life without zikr Salah and not fulfilling anyone’s rights. I had in mind soon i will do thoba n will live a pious life. I had feelings i am too close to ALLAH. I considered myself very pious though i had no amal. I recently by the will of ALLAH did thohba. I had addiction of movies, and songs. i started Salah and zikr.... but i am in a shock.
I used to think i am near ALLAH all these years, but i dont have now any feelings, i feel like mu heart is empty. I look at my parents with empty eyes i feel like i am looking at them after ages. They ask me what happened? Above this i feel myself derached off myself. I feel i am
no one now. I have became weak, got dark circles, i have no intrest in life.

Along side i am getting whispers to the extent that am not able to say here. Ribillious kind of. I dont want to lose Islam. I never wanted so, i just had in mind i will start i never disobeyed with sin intention. I have been taking love of my family all these years n deprived them of their share. I feel like my heart is stone it can never be soft or it can never be attaced to anyone.

My questions are now
1- can my heart be changed how it was long ago?
2-can i go closer to ALLAH
3-can i love others? I feel like I can never love anyone
4-how will i get closer to myself? I feel empty my whole personality has shattered.
5: is this Azaab from ALLAH? God forbid as all these years i would listen to lectures n Ayat of Quran but i would fall deaf over them. When azab comes they dont move back. Will it go back?

I read in Quran
Like this: they forgot Allah and Allah made them forget themselves. They are the disobedient. Allah knows best

P.s. sorry if my post is too long but i really need answers for these. Plz givr me in detail . Thanks

 

[Zzz_]

Asalaam alekom

My questions are now
1- can my heart be changed how it was long ago?

wa'alaikum as'salaam

Anything is possible before death catches you. Here are some heart softeners to start with inshallah:

http://sunnahonline.com/library/purification-of-the-soul/614-hardening-of-the-heart

My Heart Has Become So Hardened - Dr Muhammad Salah
http://viewpure.com/52-p-WA6y9A?start=0&end=0

2-can i go closer to ALLAH

Yes, it all depends on your intentions and actions. This ramadan is a great time to start. Going to the masjid for taraweeh will help also.

way to get closer to Allah - https://islamqa.info/en/104771

3-can i love others? I feel like I can never love anyone

You can love others, it's about developing empathy and understanding of others. Spending more time with them and trying to get to know them and reflecting how others feel/behave/act/live/etc is a good start.

how to treat others - https://islamqa.info/en/178639

4-how will i get closer to myself? I feel empty my whole personality has shattered.

You basically came to a realization of the kind of life you lived and how it wasn't what you thought it was. First step is the awakening from that slumber, second is doing something about it. See where you want to go and then write up a plan on how to get there.

want to be xyz type of a person - research and read up on requirements and practice that

ex: want humility - read : https://islamqa.info/en/30864
ex: build confidence - read : https://islamqa.info/en/115129

5: is this Azaab from ALLAH? God forbid as all these years i would listen to lectures n Ayat of Quran but i would fall deaf over them. When azab comes they dont move back. Will it go back?

I don't think this is azab, more like a wake up call and opportunity to do change and do something about it.

 

[Umm♥Layth]

Asalaam Aleikum,

What you are describing sounds mostly like depression. Perhaps you need to find interests that will inspire you. Often times, when we give up habits or behaviors, we are left empty with nothing to take their place. It could lead a person to a state of depression for sure.

I don't think your heart is hardened. You just need to find a way to reconnect with Allah and Ramadan is the perfect time for that. If you feel nothing when you pray, then ask to feel. Nothing is too much for Allah and he is most forgiving and most loving.

 

[Miss khan]

wa'alaikum as'salaam

Anything is possible before death catches you. Here are some heart softeners to start with inshallah:

http://sunnahonline.com/library/purification-of-the-soul/614-hardening-of-the-heart

My Heart Has Become So Hardened - Dr Muhammad Salah
http://viewpure.com/52-p-WA6y9A?start=0&end=0



Yes, it all depends on your intentions and actions. This ramadan is a great time to start. Going to the masjid for taraweeh will help also.

way to get closer to Allah - https://islamqa.info/en/104771




You can love others, it's about developing empathy and understanding of others. Spending more time with them and trying to get to know them and reflecting how others feel/behave/act/live/etc is a good start.

how to treat others - https://islamqa.info/en/178639


You basically came to a realization of the kind of life you lived and how it wasn't what you thought it was. First step is the awakening from that slumber, second is doing something about it. See where you want to go and then write up a plan on how to get there.

want to be xyz type of a person - research and read up on requirements and practice that

ex: want humility - read : https://islamqa.info/en/30864
ex: build confidence - read : https://islamqa.info/en/115129




I don't think this is azab, more like a wake up call and opportunity to do change and do something about it.

JazakAllah khair dear sister for your positivity feed back. I felt comfort while reading thanks a lot ????????????

 

[Miss khan]

Asalaam Aleikum,

What you are describing sounds mostly like depression. Perhaps you need to find interests that will inspire you. Often times, when we give up habits or behaviors, we are left empty with nothing to take their place. It could lead a person to a state of depression for sure.

I don't think your heart is hardened. You just need to find a way to reconnect with Allah and Ramadan is the perfect time for that. If you feel nothing when you pray, then ask to feel. Nothing is too much for Allah and he is most forgiving and most loving.

JazakAllah khair dear sister

could u tell me further if its depression, how to deal with it?

- - - Updated - - -

Asalaam Aleikum,

What you are describing sounds mostly like depression. Perhaps you need to find interests that will inspire you. Often times, when we give up habits or behaviors, we are left empty with nothing to take their place. It could lead a person to a state of depression for sure.

I don't think your heart is hardened. You just need to find a way to reconnect with Allah and Ramadan is the perfect time for that. If you feel nothing when you pray, then ask to feel. Nothing is too much for Allah and he is most forgiving and most loving.

JazakAllah khair dear sister

could u tell me further if its depression, how to deal with it?

 

[Miss khan]

Sister if i go to the GP he will never believe i have depression since he would have no idea about the spiritual journey etc what shall i do now? Plz reply me

 

[Nashita]

Asalaam alekom

I have been living a life without zikr Salah and not fulfilling anyone’s rights. I had in mind soon i will do thoba n will live a pious life. I had feelings i am too close to ALLAH. I considered myself very pious though i had no amal. I recently by the will of ALLAH did thohba. I had addiction of movies, and songs. i started Salah and zikr.... but i am in a shock.
I used to think i am near ALLAH all these years, but i dont have now any feelings, i feel like mu heart is empty. I look at my parents with empty eyes i feel like i am looking at them after ages. They ask me what happened? Above this i feel myself derached off myself. I feel i am
no one now. I have became weak, got dark circles, i have no intrest in life.

Along side i am getting whispers to the extent that am not able to say here. Ribillious kind of. I dont want to lose Islam. I never wanted so, i just had in mind i will start i never disobeyed with sin intention. I have been taking love of my family all these years n deprived them of their share. I feel like my heart is stone it can never be soft or it can never be attaced to anyone.

My questions are now
1- can my heart be changed how it was long ago?
2-can i go closer to ALLAH
3-can i love others? I feel like I can never love anyone
4-how will i get closer to myself? I feel empty my whole personality has shattered.
5: is this Azaab from ALLAH? God forbid as all these years i would listen to lectures n Ayat of Quran but i would fall deaf over them. When azab comes they dont move back. Will it go back?

I read in Quran
Like this: they forgot Allah and Allah made them forget themselves. They are the disobedient. Allah knows best

P.s. sorry if my post is too long but i really need answers for these. Plz givr me in detail . Thanks

Walaikum assalam

You need to calm yourself first . We all feel empty and lost at times . There's always a way out . Just have faith in Allah and yourself. It's important to be hopeful and trust that Allah will help you through every struggle in your life .

You might struggle right now to follow the right path but one day you'll overcome it and feel the righteousness in your heart.
Allah knows the best .

Whatever you do in life, you should know it's purpose or else you'll drift away from that someday or the other. So when you're praying, know the purpose behind it . Islam is a way of life . Try to know your religion better, I am sure you'll find great answers. Also, look for some YouTube videos on Islam and its way of life, the purpose of life in Islam , Salah and it's essence. I am sure you'll feel better and blessed .

 

[Miss khan]

Thanks dear sister for your kind reply.

Walaikum assalam


You might struggle right now to follow the right path but one day you'll overcome it and feel the righteousness in your heart.
Allah knows the best .

InshaALLAH you are too sweet JazakAllah khair I am waiting for that days inshaAllah . Many thanks

 

[ChosenTCO]

JazakAllah khair dear sister

could u tell me further if its depression, how to deal with it?

If you really do think it is depression, then your best move against it is to eliminate all thoughts of inadequacy and worthlessness. Because these two things are what fuels depression and amplifies it. And trust me when i tell you, you dont want to go down their cause its one hell of a pit thats hard to get out of (except with the help of Allah ofc).

But personally, i do not think these feelings stems from depression per say, and the only reason i say that is because i dont think it is possible for one to suffer from depression if they lacked empathy before. Usually, for someone to start getting depressed, they first must have feelings or urges to do good for others and be useful, then when they start feeling that they are not being that helpful they start thinking little of themselves and start having doubts about their self-worth. But then again, thats just one explanation and their could be many types of depression that i dont know of.

If i were to guess, id say you are most likely suffering waswasa. Basically what happens is, when a person tries to get closer and closer to Allah, the devils try their best to deter those people away from the straight path and make them feel that their efforts and all those prayers we do and ask Allah for are useless and a waste of time. This is contrary to what most people think, that the further you are from God the more evil things will happen to you from the jinn, when in reality, it is said that the devils focus their attention the most on pious people to turn them away from God. So dont be discourage by these false feelings. How can you be further from God when you are trying to get closer to him compared to before when you really didnt put any effort in to trying and get closer to Him? So keep going on that path and inshallah you will get closer eventually to your Lord and let those feelings be motives and signs of progress instead of reasons for despair.

Remind yourself of this hadith always:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Allah says: 'I am just as My slave thinks I am, (i.e. I am able to do for him what he thinks I can do for him) and I am with him if He remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than they; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer to Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.' "

​

Stay strong girl!:statisfie Never give up on Allah's mercy!

 

[Miss khan]

If you really do think it is depression, then your best move against it is to eliminate all thoughts of inadequacy and worthlessness. Because these two things are what fuels depression and amplifies it. And trust me when i tell you, you dont want to go down their cause its one hell of a pit thats hard to get out of (except with the help of Allah ofc).

But personally, i do not think these feelings stems from depression per say, and the only reason i say that is because i dont think it is possible for one to suffer from depression if they lacked empathy before. Usually, for someone to start getting depressed, they first must have feelings or urges to do good for others and be useful, then when they start feeling that they are not being that helpful they start thinking little of themselves and start having doubts about their self-worth. But then again, thats just one explanation and their could be many types of depression that i dont know of.

If i were to guess, id say you are most likely suffering waswasa. Basically what happens is, when a person tries to get closer and closer to Allah, the devils try their best to deter those people away from the straight path and make them feel that their efforts and all those prayers we do and ask Allah for are useless and a waste of time. This is contrary to what most people think, that the further you are from God the more evil things will happen to you from the jinn, when in reality, it is said that the devils focus their attention the most on pious people to turn them away from God. So dont be discourage by these false feelings. How can you be further from God when you are trying to get closer to him compared to before when you really didnt put any effort in to trying and get closer to Him? So keep going on that path and inshallah you will get closer eventually to your Lord and let those feelings be motives and signs of progress instead of reasons for despair.

Remind yourself of this hadith always:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Allah says: 'I am just as My slave thinks I am, (i.e. I am able to do for him what he thinks I can do for him) and I am with him if He remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than they; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer to Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.' "

​

Stay strong girl!:statisfie Never give up on Allah's mercy!

Thanks dear sister
yes you’re right i feel like these are the evil thoughts they are hitting my brain. And i get scared of them too much. But other sister is right too i feel like i am depressed at times, as i am new person now or like my way, routine of life has changed completely which are mostly the rights of others. Thats why i feel detached Sometime.

I am happy Alhamdulillah i have asked here as i got to know about my situation clearly. And i am hopeful too now..... Plz keep me in your duas sister

jazakAllah khair

 

[soulforAllah]

Asalaam alekom

I have been living a life without zikr Salah and not fulfilling anyone’s rights. I had in mind soon i will do thoba n will live a pious life. I had feelings i am too close to ALLAH. I considered myself very pious though i had no amal. I recently by the will of ALLAH did thohba. I had addiction of movies, and songs. i started Salah and zikr.... but i am in a shock.
I used to think i am near ALLAH all these years, but i dont have now any feelings, i feel like mu heart is empty. I look at my parents with empty eyes i feel like i am looking at them after ages. They ask me what happened? Above this i feel myself derached off myself. I feel i am
no one now. I have became weak, got dark circles, i have no intrest in life.

Along side i am getting whispers to the extent that am not able to say here. Ribillious kind of. I dont want to lose Islam. I never wanted so, i just had in mind i will start i never disobeyed with sin intention. I have been taking love of my family all these years n deprived them of their share. I feel like my heart is stone it can never be soft or it can never be attaced to anyone.

My questions are now
1- can my heart be changed how it was long ago?
2-can i go closer to ALLAH
3-can i love others? I feel like I can never love anyone
4-how will i get closer to myself? I feel empty my whole personality has shattered.
5: is this Azaab from ALLAH? God forbid as all these years i would listen to lectures n Ayat of Quran but i would fall deaf over them. When azab comes they dont move back. Will it go back?

I read in Quran
Like this: they forgot Allah and Allah made them forget themselves. They are the disobedient. Allah knows best

P.s. sorry if my post is too long but i really need answers for these. Plz givr me in detail . Thanks

Dear Sister in Islam Assalamu alaikum,
First of all I pray, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala eases the hardship that you are facing and fill your heart with peace.

I understand exactly what you are going through. Don't be too hard on yourself. I would suggest to consult a good psychologist or psychiatrist or both if possible and preferrably muslim. I had psychotic depression. I would prefer not to describe that phase in my life. But Alhamdulillah!! I am so much better now. Medications and therapy targetted specifically to your diagnosis can help you to get off the edge you are at right now, once you gain back the control you can simply quit the treatment (As I personally dint feel the necessity to continue with the treatments).

Of course it is possible to set things right in your life without professional help but recovery can be very challenging and temporary. The choice is yours. Please check out the following video:

https://youtu.be/OFp2mcnBKls

And Allah knows best.

 

[Miss khan]

Dear Sister in Islam Assalamu alaikum,
First of all I pray, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala eases the hardship that you are facing and fill your heart with peace.

I understand exactly what you are going through. Don't be too hard on yourself. I would suggest to consult a good psychologist or psychiatrist or both if possible and preferrably muslim. I had psychotic depression. I would prefer not to describe that phase in my life. But Alhamdulillah!! I am so much better now. Medications and therapy targetted specifically to your diagnosis can help you to get off the edge you are at right now, once you gain back the control you can simply quit the treatment (As I personally dint feel the necessity to continue with the treatments).

Of course it is possible to set things right in your life without professional help but recovery can be very challenging and temporary. The choice is yours. Please check out the following video:

https://youtu.be/OFp2mcnBKls

And Allah knows best.

Walekom asalaam
Thanks alot for your kind reply. I will try to speak to my family about professional help. I hope they listen to me.

Sister you had the same feelings that you were far away from ALLAH ? Now you feel you are close to Him like othe Muslims?

 

[soulforAllah]

Walekom asalaam
Thanks alot for your kind reply. I will try to speak to my family about professional help. I hope they listen to me.

Sister you had the same feelings that you were far away from ALLAH ? Now you feel you are close to Him like othe Muslims?

Not just far from Allah, my feelings and thoughts were structureless, abstract. Mostly I felt empty, creations, creator, life, everything seemed meaningless. I felt nothing.
You may feel things in a different way than I have felt but the despair is the same. I am still vulnerable in terms of my sensitivity and emotions but my faith is strong Alhamdulillah. I cry and feel helpless at times but I constantly speak with Allah alhamdulillah.

You know what I think about your situation dear sister? You love Allah so much and thats why you feel scared of being far away from Him, in truth you are not. Dont judge yourself too much, the reason you are still alive means Allah loves you and is giving you a chance to earn more rewards that He will bless you with if not in this life then of course in the hearafter. Keep faith. And yes, right now it is a difficult time for you, please talk to your parents and convince them that you need some help.

 

[Miss khan]

Not just far from Allah, my feelings and thoughts were structureless, abstract. Mostly I felt empty, creations, creator, life, everything seemed meaningless. I felt nothing.
You may feel things in a different way than I have felt but the despair is the same. I am still vulnerable in terms of my sensitivity and emotions but my faith is strong Alhamdulillah. I cry and feel helpless at times but I constantly speak with Allah alhamdulillah.

You know what I think about your situation dear sister? You love Allah so much and thats why you feel scared of being far away from Him, in truth you are not. Dont judge yourself too much, the reason you are still alive means Allah loves you and is giving you a chance to earn more rewards that He will bless you with if not in this life then of course in the hearafter. Keep faith. And yes, right now it is a difficult time for you, please talk to your parents and convince them that you need some help.

JazakAllah dear sister. I feel very relaxed after listening to something positive abt myself.
Thanks alot.
InshaAllah now i am very hopeful by the will of ALLAH Alhamdulillah.
I wont judge myself anymore InshaAllah. Plz need ur duas.

- - - Updated - - -

Not just far from Allah, my feelings and thoughts were structureless, abstract. Mostly I felt empty, creations, creator, life, everything seemed meaningless. I felt nothing.
You may feel things in a different way than I have felt but the despair is the same. I am still vulnerable in terms of my sensitivity and emotions but my faith is strong Alhamdulillah. I cry and feel helpless at times but I constantly speak with Allah alhamdulillah.

You know what I think about your situation dear sister? You love Allah so much and thats why you feel scared of being far away from Him, in truth you are not. Dont judge yourself too much, the reason you are still alive means Allah loves you and is giving you a chance to earn more rewards that He will bless you with if not in this life then of course in the hearafter. Keep faith. And yes, right now it is a difficult time for you, please talk to your parents and convince them that you need some help.

JazakAllah dear sister. I feel very relaxed after listening to something positive abt myself.
Thanks alot.
InshaAllah now i am very hopeful by the will of ALLAH Alhamdulillah.
I wont judge myself anymore InshaAllah. Plz need ur duas.

 

[soulforAllah]

JazakAllah dear sister. I feel very relaxed after listening to something positive abt myself.
Thanks alot.
InshaAllah now i am very hopeful by the will of ALLAH Alhamdulillah.
I wont judge myself anymore InshaAllah. Plz need ur duas.

- - - Updated - - -




JazakAllah dear sister. I feel very relaxed after listening to something positive abt myself.
Thanks alot.
InshaAllah now i am very hopeful by the will of ALLAH Alhamdulillah.
I wont judge myself anymore InshaAllah. Plz need ur duas.

I feel very happy knowing that you are feeling positive masha Allah. Many things in life can drag us down and make us feel sad but we must remind ourselves to always keep faith in Allah subahanua ta'ala.
I pray for you dear sister, please remember me in your prayers too [emoji173]

 

[Miss khan]

I feel very happy knowing that you are feeling positive masha Allah. Many things in life can drag us down and make us feel sad but we must remind ourselves to always keep faith in Allah subahanua ta'ala.
I pray for you dear sister, please remember me in your prayers too [emoji173]

InshaAllah sister i will remember u in my prayers