troubldbywaswas
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I have been having serious waswas about other religions. Initially I was having waswas about Christianity and the Shaytan was asking me questions about their faith and I was able to counter his questions. For the last few days I've had questions from Shaytaan about Hindu faith and it is so disgusting but I was hopeless when I was not able to counter his questions in my mind. Then I was able to counter it back one day later. However I then again started having very bad thoughts in my mind. I felt disgusted with myself and I've been questioning myself if I'm even Muslim. I'm taking the Shahada again and again. I spend my entire day fighting these waswas and then I decided to read this post http://www.islamreligion.com/articles/559/muhammed-umar-rao-ex-hindu-brahmin/ and I just felt very guilty because I read what was already written in the Quran and I still chose to look at that post. I really don't wish to indulge in arguments against other faiths because I simply know Islam is the truth and I just want to preserve my faith without thinking of other unncessary things. I pray five times a day and engage in a lot of dhikr when I face these waswas and I do not indulge in any major sins but I have these waswas a lot and they bring me great stress, sometimes I have headaches. Lately, I feel hopeless and I'm questioning if I'm Muslim or not? I still do pray five times a day. I just feel very disgusted and I feel like a hypocrite sometimes. I always fear of ever doing shirk and I make supplications to preserve my imaan and make me steadfast and firm on Islam. I do not even know anymore where these waswas are from anymore? the shaytaan or my own nafs? Am I Muslim? Please ask me anything for more clarity. Please respond as soon as possible! Have I committed shirk? will all my previous good deeds I deed in the name of Allah be accepted or be washed away? Please help