Difficult situation with oldest son

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Silas

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My oldest son (17 years) is a bit Autistic (high-functioning--basically Asperger's Syndrome) and socially awkward. He is very intelligent, but is also somewhat narrow-minded and cynical about things, and while he has been introduced to religion, he maintains that he is "not religious". He is "scientifically-minded" in these sense that he doesn't think about God, metaphysics, the purpose of the universe, etc.

He has been introduced to both Christianity and Islam (we have a Masjid a mile from the house, and the people there are very welcoming with information, seminars, outreach, etc.). When he was younger, my wife brought him to her church. When that didn't move him, he was introduced to Islam.

Lately, he has been depressed, and has even mentioned suicide (sending my wife into a panic). He sees a therapist for anxiety and depression.

Obviously, this is a tricky situation. The thought of him going through life believing in nothing, and falling into some abyss of despair makes me shudder. He doesn't seem to have purpose or direction.

All his needs have been met, and we are a relatively wealthy family. I've tried to advise him and give him a choice in things such as religion, but perhaps I didn't push enough?

My own situation is complex: my friends joke I am a "closet Muslim" lol, because I always speak highly of the faith, and know, perhaps intuitively, that it is the correct path. But what I can confess to myself is easier than that which I confess to others (living in a western country, surrounded by Christians, and not being an Arabic speaker).

I seem to be coming to some kind of crossroads ...
 
Silas said:
My oldest son (17 years) is a bit Autistic (high-functioning--basically Asperger's Syndrome) and socially awkward. He is very intelligent, but is also somewhat narrow-minded and cynical about things, and while he has been introduced to religion, he maintains that he is "not religious". He is "scientifically-minded" in these sense that he doesn't think about God, metaphysics, the purpose of the universe, etc.

He has been introduced to both Christianity and Islam (we have a Masjid a mile from the house, and the people there are very welcoming with information, seminars, outreach, etc.). When he was younger, my wife brought him to her church. When that didn't move him, he was introduced to Islam.

Lately, he has been depressed, and has even mentioned suicide (sending my wife into a panic). He sees a therapist for anxiety and depression.

Obviously, this is a tricky situation. The thought of him going through life believing in nothing, and falling into some abyss of despair makes me shudder. He doesn't seem to have purpose or direction.

All his needs have been met, and we are a relatively wealthy family. I've tried to advise him and give him a choice in things such as religion, but perhaps I didn't push enough?

My own situation is complex: my friends joke I am a "closet Muslim" lol, because I always speak highly of the faith, and know, perhaps intuitively, that it is the correct path. But what I can confess to myself is easier than that which I confess to others (living in a western country, surrounded by Christians, and not being an Arabic speaker).

I seem to be coming to some kind of crossroads ...
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Hello my friend,

As you pointed out, your son lacks a purpose in life. You may have introduced him to Islam but probably not in a way which may appeal him. Many of us when talk about religion, we try to keep religion and science as separate as possible. My advise will be to look into Islam from a scientific point of view since your son is interested in science. Few months ago I put together a thread which kind of address this topic, feel free to look into that or the links provided in that thread. Link for the thread is below:

https://www.islamicboard.com/compar...quran-proof-islam-true-religion-new-post.html


Has your son tried to listen to Quran? The recitation of Quran is amazing in itself and moves many even if one does not understand it. Try to listen to Quranic translation when one is depressed or ready to sleep.

I also advise you to look into Islam more seriously. May be the situation you are going through is in fact a means for you to get closer to Allah and get back on the right path? We can help you if there are any doubts in your mind.

May Allah guide you and your family to the right path and make it easy for you to accept Islam. Ameen!
 
Do you know where his depression is stemming from? Maybe he feels he doesn't have an outlet to express his emotions. Many teenagers at this age kind of go through this. They feel "misunderstood" and think they know everything. Even though you're not Muslim, perhaps praying together at home or even meditating would be helpful, like if you made it a regular thing instead of a weekly church visit? Also perhaps doing more charity work or giving him a feeling of purpose by encouraging him to come up with ideas to solve issues in the community. It might help him make friends and give him positive social experiences. If he is scientifically minded, maybe you could challenge him to study islam with that kind of mindset, for example, the way that the quran presents details about human conception from over 1400 years ago, or the barriers between salt and fresh water which were only recently discovered. May Allah guide him to the correct path and place piety in his heart ameen. I understand how worried you and your wife must feel, inshallah he gets better and Allah heals whatever pain he is feeling and grants him understanding.
 
[MENTION=40988]Silas[/MENTION] my dear brother, it does indeed seem you are coming to a crossroad and I'll reccomend you read the translation of Quran, it is full of signs that it is Divine

If you intuitively know that Islam is probably the truth, then you need to become absolutely certain of this and become Muslim, for not only is your salvation important here but your sons too, salvation in both this life and in the next.

Once you become Muslim then you can guide your son with the confidence and light you will carry and Islam will save your son in both worlds.

People with autism or an internal disability tend to accept God's truth more intuitively rather than being too intellectual about it as their relatively intact innate nature is more in tune with reality and Truth so all your son needs is a dad teaching him this truth from a position of firm faith and conviction and InshAllah I have a feeling Allah will choose both you and your son to bless with this ultimate blessing.

My prayers are with you both :)
 
I know we agreed to keep science and religion separate but the quran actually shows true facts that science shows. Science is an observation of reality as we know it and a bunch of theories. However there are true facts that can not be disapproved. The quran states these things. So maybe take a look at them both you and your son and perhaps you may be inclined to it? Reason I confirmed and chose to be muslim is the scientific FACTS and the prophecy that the prophet Muhammad saw told. Religion will fulfill your sons gap and give him that purpose and help him alot better. In our holy book, it says whomever doesnt remember god he will become depressed and not live a happy life. Even celebrities despite having everything complain of being depressed...I have my own problems but my religion islam has most definitely helped lighten the load
 

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