Please forgive me if my question is not appropriate, against rules and regulations, or in the wrong location, I am new here.
I am just curious to know if there are any divorced Muslims/Islams on the forum?
1.) What are the Islamic laws regarding divorce (in today's society), I am only familiar with the bibles laws and even they are interpreted differently in today's society.
2.) How do the Islamic laws regarding divorce compare/contrast to the Bible's laws of divorce?
Greetings patientgrace,
The following should answer your question regarding the Islamic perspective of divorce:
Divorce is something that is permissible in Islam but used as a last resort. As such, a couple deciding to end a marriage must really think deep and hard before going ahead with the divorce.
In the brother's case, he should first sit down and discuss matters with his wife, other family members (from both sides) and a local scholar of knowledge and piety. Explain the problem to him and seek his advice. (Meaning everything should be tried before seeking divorce, thus divorce should be last option when everything else has been exhausted)
Allah Most High says:
"If you fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family and the other from hers; if they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation: For Allah has full knowledge, and is acquainted with all things." (Surah al-Nisa, V. 35)
If it is thought that there is no way in making the marriage work, then the brother should explain this to his parents in a gentle and polite manner, using allot of wisdom. The mediation of a local scholar, whom the parents also respect, may well make maters easy in explaining to the parents.
The parents may be explained that divorce is not something that is unlawful. At times, people don't get on well with one another, thus there is no option but divorce. Even some of the Prophets (Peace and blessings be upon them) divorced their wives. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) also contemplated divorcing all his wives, thus gave them an option to remain with him or otherwise.
Thus, despite being a last resort, divorce is not unlawful and should not bring about disrespect and humiliation to the family. Unfortunately, many Muslim societies regard divorce as an evil and sin, which is completely untrue.
The consequence of this is manifested in the fact that due to divorce being considered an evil and an act of sin, it is presumed that there has to be one guilty party, thus both parties start to point fingers at one another and become enemies for life.
The perception of Islam is quite the opposite. Divorce does not mean that there has to be one guilty party, rather it occurred because of the couple not being able to get on with another, which can be quite normal.
This is the reason why at times we see that two of the best people (in their piety, manners and characteristics) could not save their marriage. Many people start to wonder, how their marriage failed, but with the above explanation it becomes clear that, divorce does not mean that one of the spouses was evil or bad.
Islam commands the husband to give his wife a small gift (known as Mut'a) at the time of divorce, as to avoid any hard feelings.
Allah Most High says:
"For divorced women, maintenance (mut'a) (should be provided) on a reasonable (scale). This is a duty on the righteous." [/COLOR](Surah al-Baqarah, v. 241)
The meaning of maintenance (mut'a), according to the Hanafi jurists is a small gift consisting of cloths, blanket, etc. (See: al-Ikhtiyar li Ta'lil al-Mukhtar, 2/127)
Thus, Islam orders the husband to release his wife in a polite manner without having any grudges due to the failure of marriage. The same command is given to the woman, in that she should not blame her former husband on the breakdown of her marriage.
Despite this, the unfortunate situation in most Muslim societies is that when divorce takes place, not only do the man and woman have grudges with one another but the whole family and other relatives are involved and become lifelong enemies. The woman's family use the children as a means to make the man suffer. This, along with being a major sin, is totally inhumane and unacceptable.
Well, coming back to your questions, the brother concerned does not have to divorce his wife if she demands it, as divorcing is the exclusive right of the husband, for which there are many wisdoms that have been explained in an earlier post.
However, if there is allot of hatred between the spouses and there is no real life in the marriage, and all efforts in saving the marriage have failed, then the husband should divorce his wife.
In the situation where the brother does not divorce his wife, his responsibilities will be no different from any other husband. However, if he does decide to divorce his wife, he will have to maintain her financially throughout her waiting period (iddah), which is three menstrual cycles. His will have to support his male children until they reach puberty and female children until they marry.
Regarding the difference between khula and divorce:
The only difference between divorce and Khul' is that a divorce is given by the man without demanding a financial payment form the wife, where as in khul', the wife receives the divorce in return for a financial payment. This is usually in a situation where the husband in unwilling to give the divorce and the wife persuades him to issue the divorce in return of this payment.
It should be remembered that a Khul' can not come into effect without the consent and agreement of the husband. The wife can persuade him to enter into the agreement of Khul' but not enforce it upon him. For more details see the recent post on Khul' on the Hanafi forum.
With regards to stipulating a right of divorce for the wife in the case where the husband fails to fulfill a certain promise or condition, this is permissible and known in the fiqh terminology as Tafweed.
If this tafweed takes place at the time of contracting the marriage, meaning the wife stipulates the condition, and demands the right to divorce herself in the case of non-fulfillment, it will be valid, provided one condition is met, which is that the offer of marriage is initiated by the woman coupled with the demand for Tafweed, and the man accepts this. If the opposite takes place, it will be void.
(See: Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar, 2/285 & Bahr al-Ra'iq, 3/318).
So the statement of the woman would be as follows: "I give my self to you in wedlock on the condition that you do not marry again and if you do then I have a right to divorce my self" and the husband says: "I accept you in my marriage in agreement with the condition stipulated".
In this way, if the husband was to marry again, the wife would have the right to divorce herself. (For more details, see a previous post on 'placing conditions in a marriage contract'.
Referance: Sunnipath
Many other issues of divorce in Islam answered:
http://spa.qibla.com/browse.asp?ToDo=browse&id=12&catId=11
Regarding the differences between divorce in the Bible and in Islam then it rerally depends on which denomination you are referring to as many of the fundamental concepts of many matters pertaining to scripture vary within each denomination.
