[AnonymousPoster]

please brothers and sisters do not judge me when reading this as if the first time i am talking about this, for the past three months i have been feeling very conscious about my weight i am not overweight but i just feel i am not at the correct weight. so i realised that instead of feeling sorry fo myself i should do something about it and thats when i started restricting to 500 calories a day or less i made myself sick three times but i felt so horrible, this past week school is closed so i been eating so much junk food and now i am tempted to fast( not for islamic reasons) or go back to rescticting again.

not eating well made me feel soo weak but the result were worth it, now i do pray and cover up and practise the deen and if u saw me you would never think i have this problem, but nobody is perfect and this is my problem i cant talk to sisters because May allah swt help us we have all become very judgemental so if i talk to anyone they will just look down at me unfortunatly so i cant talk to anyone. I go to pro ana website i know is not great but it gives me that kick to starve. i dont know what to do now is a vicious cycle u eat then u starve then u eat again, i am not going to lie i have lost a stone and i am what people call *slim* but i dont feel it i want to loose 2 more stones but i know deep down is wrong, please help a sister in need In`sha`Allah.

 

[glo]

Dear anonymous

Recognising that you have an issue with your eating is a very big step forward.

You need to talk to somebody you can trust, and you need to seek medical advice.
I urge you to see your doctor. He can make the appropriate referrals to specialist services.
There may also be support groups and counselling groups where you live.

Please stay away from pro ana websites!!!! They will only push you deeper into your eating problems.

Come back her if you need to talk, or PM me.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Thanaa]

Wa Aleikum Salaam.
Sis, I think you need to see a counsellor, or a nurse or doctor.
I dont know if you are american ('cause you have to pay over there for medical care dont you?), but If you're in the uk, just go and see someone.
I understand a little how you feel.
I am, at the moment, about 70lbs overweight, and I vary between bingeing, and every so often restricting my intake severely.
It is true that starving, and that feeling of control can give you a high. You feel so accomplished, and so awake, that it can easily encourage you to continue, even if it hurts.
I also occasionally visit pro-ana websites, and yes, I can understand that "kick" you mentioned. They either inspire you, or cause you to feel so fat by comparison to everyone else there, that you immediately feel guilty about having eaten half a sandwich for lunch.
My Friend was bulimic and anorexic in school. Even after she recovered, she could still stick her fingers up under her ribcage. I guess it was her "party trick".

Sis, the results are not worth it at all... If you continue the way you are, your body will not be able to cope.

Health Risks/Consequences:

*Abnormally low heart rate and blood pressure indicating that the heart muscle has been affected by the self-starvation. Risk of heart failure increases as the heart rate and blood pressure continue to drop.
*Reduced bone density (osteoporosis) resulting in brittle bones, and in younger women (age 12-17), can affect bone growth and height.
*Muscle loss and weakness
*Severe dehydration which can result in kidney failure
*Fatigue, dizzy spells, fainting, poor concentration
*Dry, scaly skin and hair loss is common
*Growth of a downy layer of hair called lanugo all over the body, including the face, as the body attempts to compensate for the loss of insulating fat tissue
*Electrolyte imbalance
*Sudden death due to heart failure

The list above came from http://www.utoronto.ca/health/healthtips/eatdisorder/eatdisorder.htm

 

[Snowflake]

Sister, may Allah heal you. Ameen. It's sad you feel you can't talk to sisters because of the reason you gave. Of course no one should judge you, but forgive the ones who do so. Sometimes, it is beyond people's reach to understand somethings. Like you said, no one is perfect.

It's great you have started praying and observing hijab. That's two of your obligations you are fulfilling as a muslimah mashaAllah. There are also other we need to do as muslims. One is to have sabr and put our trust in Allah. The other is not to cause destruction to yourself.

In case your weight fluctuates again, there are sensible ways of losing weight and in that you need patience and ask Allah to give to strength to persevere. If you do not have the patience, you will again resort to drastic solutions and therefore harm your body and health, hence bringing destruction upon yourself. Looking after yourself is also one obligation a muslim must fulfil. Islam is more than just praying and wearing hijab hun.


As muslims we must should also follow the Prophet's (PBUH) sunnah. The Prophet has advised us in all matters including the best way to eat to keep our bodies healthy. If you don't know, I can post you the relevant information inshaAllah.

Lastly, don't let the shaytaan put waswaas in your head. You know deep down you don't need to lose more weight. But the shaytaan is coaxing you into bringing destruction upon yourself. Don't let him do this dear sis.

Ask Allah swt, to protect you against his evil wispers. Keep up praying salah and recite the Holy Quran.



Recite daily:
"My Lord! I seek refuge with You from the whisperings (suggestions) of Satan (devils). And I seek refuge with You, my Lord, lest they may attend (or come near) me.’” (Quran 23:97-98)
Reciting Al-Kursi verse in Arabic (Quran 2:255) provides also a strong protection against the Jinn.

Also the Prophet Muhammad said: “Do not make your houses like graves, for Satan runs away from a house in which al-Baqarah chapter [chapter 2] is recited.” (Narrated by Saheeh Muslim)

The Prophet (PBUH) used to seek protection against the Jinn and the evil eye till surahs al-Falaq and an-Nas were revealed. After they were revealed he stuck to them and discarded everything beside them. Recite these two Surahs & Ayahtul Kursi before going sleep, blow on your hands and wipe over your entire body.

Recite 'Bismillah...' before you begin to eat and before entering your home.

Recite [By the Name of Allah]. Oh Allah, I seek protection in You from unclean spirits, male and female before entering bathroom/toilet. [Abu Dawud 4/264, Ahmad 2/389]

InshaAllah following these recommendations will guard you against the evil of shaytaan(s) in all forms including waswaas that are making you behave irresponsibly.

May Allah grant you His help and blessings. Ameen.

 

[Ahmed.]

Salaam sister,

If your not too overweight or too thin so as to put your self in danger health wise, then there is no need to go on extreme diets other than just choosing a balanced diet where you eat healthy food and not stuff that will make you overweight or make you too thin.

Eating disorders usually result from psycological and emotional disorders [one thinks there not the right size, or one is not happy with her size, to the extent where they go to extremes in their diets] and one cure for this is to train one's mind and emotions to make them more in accordance with Islam; in Islam, Allah's pleasure should be paramount for us, for we shuold be happy with the way of life whcih Allah is happy with, thus once a person can be content and stable with this perspective of life, then one will be content with any aspect of life [incluiding eating, diets, etc] which is acceptable in Islam.

Try to avoid junk food [so you dont get overweight again] and just stick to a balanced healthy diet sister, and then there will be no need to starve yourself anymore; just think to yourself that this is the type of diet Allah is happy with, thus you couldn't care less what other people may think or what the shaytaan [satan] could influence you to think, and you yourself will be content and happy with this diet.

Hope that helps

Salaam.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Please stay away from pro ana websites!!!! They will only push you deeper into your eating problems.

thank you, thaana i can relate to you thank you for posting your story.
muslimah sis thank you sis for those beautiful words, bhai your right is a vicious cycle i need to snap out of it.
its difficult because i have low self esteem and when i loose weight everyone tells me how amazing i look, i have a natural round face my friend always go on about my cheeks and weight as a joke and even though she is joking it makes me want to not eat and loose weight and show everyone that i am strong.

 

[Snowflake]

awww sis, you sound like a beautiful person to me inside & out. I assure you lots of people like a round face. In fact if you've ever heard punjabi songs, their description of feminine beauty is a round-faced female.. gol gol gallan.. lalalala lol translation: round round cheeks

If despite being the right weight your cheeks are still chubby, then don't lose more weight simply to shrink your cheeks. You'll end up with some awful health problems if your weight drops too low. Your periods can stop which can bring its own problems.

Here's the good news. It's a treatment to dissolve fat from a certain part of the body. It consists of massaging an oil that's been treated with coloured rays of light into the problem area (Colour Therapy). I will post an address/tel no and you can order it from there inshaAllah.

You also need to work on your self-esteem. I will be back with some tips as well the contact add/tel I mentioned.

 

[Snowflake]

edit:

 

[Snowflake]

sis, here are some tips on boosting self-esteem inshaAllah.


8 Way To Boost Self-Esteem



If you are struggling with low self esteem you can boost self esteem and improve self confidence.

I like to share how to apply my personal experiences to your daily life. There are many things you can start doing to boost self esteem and improve your confidence. Here are some tips you can start applying to your daily life:

1. @}->--- Honor and love yourself . It is impossible to love and honor yourself if you are constantly blaming . Blaming means that you don't take responsability for your life. When this happens you are powerless and engange in negative thinking. How do I get out of this trap? I stop and change my negative inner talk. Changing your inner talk is a great boost .


2. @}->--- Do not judge other people. If I find myself judging I immediately change my attention . When you judge others usually you are think that you are better than them or you use this jugment to feel better.


3. @}->--- Stop feeling guilty. If want to eat chocolate or a piece of cake, etc. I eat it without guilt. The same if I need a nap , play or just relax and do nothing.


4. @}->--- Don't take personally another person criticism. I know that if come across to somebody that criticizes me is not about me. Some people to think that are better than others by putting them down. Take criticism as a feedback, and see if you could learn and improve from it.


5. @}->--- Exercising helps to boost your self esteem ,your mood, body image and confidence. I have spent time with myself. My body is light, flexible and with a lot of energy. I exercise frequently, if cannot run outside, I go to the gym.



6. @}->--- Meditate. I meditate every day; being in silence I connect to myself. It doesn't matter what meditation you use, the important key here is to be in silence. Meditation will connect you with your source of self worth.


7. @}->--- Have sense of humor .I have a great sense of humor, that’s helps a lot because I won't dwell on self pity . Start feeling happy and expanded using constructive humor.



8. @}->--- Celebrate success. I celebrate success every day; even the small ones. I become conscious of it. ( I made dinner, I watered my plants, I was nice to an angry person, etc).
Practice any of the 8 tips in your daily life. Start living the life you deserve with happiness and joy. The key is to do something for you so that you feel good .

 

[Snowflake]

More inshaAllah....

Top thirty seven tips on self esteem​

Self esteem is having a good opinion of you. It is the source of mental health and should not be confused with arrogance. People with high self esteem are at peace, feel good, relaxed and are assertive.

They live a balance life nourishing their bodies and health and trying to improve their behavior constantly. People with high self esteem act independently, usually called self-actualized.

Sometimes during the day our self esteem can get knocked out. When our self esteem is low we become negative, aggressive, self-destructive and powerless. We all know that our levels of self esteem impact not only our happiness but our work and relationships.

I have written this self esteem tips to motivate you to prioritize your needs and develop your potential for happiness and success. It does not matter if your self esteem is too low or you are going through a bad moment in your life.

1) It is really important that you stop comparing with other people: this is a low self esteem Sign and a bad habit. Stop saying things like: I wish I could ride his car, you always look perfect and look at me, you are so thing, I will never lose weight, I am not good enough and so on.


2) Write a journal: every day write about how you feel, what you enjoyed. Ask questions: Have I take good care of myself? Have I been true to myself? Have I look for external approval? This good habit will make you to get in touch with you and build your self esteem.


3) Set goals and write your life dreams. You are important and deserve to have bright and wonderful future. Get clear about what you want and feel deserving of it.



4) Use affirmations: self esteem affirmations are positive statements you can say to empower you. They are important in the process for building your self esteem and a good habit to implement in your life.

5) Don’t confuse self esteem with arrogance.


6) Identify your fears and confront them. It is important that you can see yourself overcoming your fears because it will make you more confident and build your self esteem.


7) It is important that you are able to know your strengths and weakness and when is time to ask for help.


8) Optimism is important. Avoid telling all day everybody how bad is your life. Stay in a positive state. If things are not going the way you would like them to be, take action and do something about it. This is not denial, but the awareness that you are in the process to change your life and build your self esteem. During this process it is important that you remain as optimistic as you can.


10) Overcome jealousy . Low self esteem is the cause of persistent and exaggerated jealousy. Deal with your feelings and the person concerned. Take responsibility and express how you feel. This will help you to build self respect and earn respect from others.

10) Learn to say no when is necessary. Practice assertiveness , is one of the most important foundations for self esteem. You will preserve your self esteem with this good behavior. Stand up for yourself and be proud.


11) Accept compliments without justification. It is a sign of high self esteem.


12) Fit your body: you deserve and need to have a healthy body. Feel good. Run in the morning or go to the gym. If this difficult ask a friend to go with you. Look for a good exercise program.


13) Meditate: at least fifteen minutes once a day. Any meditation will do. Follow your breath, take a course, and learn a mantra. Meditation is good for your mental health that is the source of self esteem.


14) Sleep well: Avoid eating too much, or watch violence or news before you go to bed.


15) Have fun: This will help you to stay healthy and will boost your self esteem and your immune system.


16) Release negative emotions : As soon as they came out, if it is possible, release them. Use any technique you like or visit a professional or counselor. Remember if you find yourself angry, sad, and anxious or whatever negative emotion you feel, stop and take action. You will feel good.


17) Nourish your relationships. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Instead of saying something that you will regret , stop and come back to the conversation when your emotional turbulence is gone. If you have children, spend time with them, good quality of time. If you are married make your marriage work by avoiding routine. Go out with your husband/wife once a week for a good dinner or just to have a coffee. Join a hobby together. Never let your wife or husband be taken for granted. Send them a card, by a flower, a chocolate, a love note. Keep it alive. Self esteem is important to maintain good relationships .


18) Take good care of your body : exercise is not enough; you have to eat healthy foods, drink a lot of water, and have an annual check up with your doctor.


19) Surround with positive and supportive people.


20) Overcoming pefectionism is another good practice because is a sign of low self esteem.


21) Be in nature: go out for walk, watch the flowers, and walk on the grass without your shoes. Go to the beach, to a park. Plant a flower.


22) Praise yourself: write down what you are proud of and what you have done good.


23) Make treats a daily habit: read a book you enjoy, take a warm bath, by yourself a gift.


24) Forgive yourself: let go of guilt and regret. If you did something wrong don’t dwell on that. Learn from your mistakes. Use your regret and guilt to become a better person.


25) Overcome denial: sometimes there are behaviors or situations that are too painful and as a defense mechanism we have a tendency to go into denial. Talk to a friend about what you feel, look for help or a professional.


26) Stop self-criticism: learn to change your inner talk by answering back with a positive statement. Self-criticism lowers your self esteem.


27) Practice self-acceptance : Accept what you can’t change and also what you can change. Accept your imperfections and improve what is changeable.


28) Don’t be afraid to make mistakes


29) Value your successes: not matter if they are big or small. Excellent boost for self esteem.


30) Learn to be in solitude: You have to learn to be happy with your company. This is not an easy task but do it gradually. It is the best way to overcome loneliness.


31) Take holidays: specify what you need in a holiday. Have fun. Plan them ahead and make a list of the things you would like to live in your holiday. It does not matter if the holiday is two days or a month.


32) Let go of your emotional wounds: Sometimes past experiences left wounds inside ourselves. Be aware of what is triggering those wounds and release them. May be when you were a child somebody made fun of you in front of your friends. So now as an adult you feel shame and you are not sure were that shame comes from. Pay attention now in the present what triggers shame and go to the past to find wound and release it.



33) Be grateful for you life.


34) Stop reacting: if somebody has bad manners act with dignity, if you respond with aggressiveness to the insult you will hurt your self esteem. Remember practice assertiveness.


35) Worrying about the future will only create depression and sadness. The future is not here yet ; the only moment you have is now. With the now you are creating your future. It is important that you learn to live in the present moment.


36) Heal your personal history. Another good step for feeling good about you.
Take responsibility for your life and the events that are happening. It is an esscencial step for self esteem.


37) Read this self esteem tips often. Remember that self esteem is not something that you get in an hour. Is an internal process. You have to learn to trust yourself and know that you can cope with the challenges in your life. Also know that you are worthy of happiness success and fulfillment.

Each step you take everyday will help you to improve your self esteem. Be patient , good and kind with your life.


http://www.selfesteemawareness.com/self-esteem.htm

 

[AnonymousPoster]

wow sis may allahswt bless u i read each point outloud in my room lol but yep i liked thank u again sis w/salamz

 

[Snowflake]

you're most welcome my dear sis

Remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder... keep saying/thinking this to yourself

"I'm gorgeous! If other people don't think so, it's their problem. There's something wrong with their eyes (lol). I know I'm beautiful...... a beautiful princess, better than million others out there."

 

[glo]

Remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder... keep saying/thinking this to yourself

We are also beautiful in God's eyes - after all he created us!

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
(Psalm 139:13-14)

:statisfie

 

[Fishermans_eye]

I'm not telling you to continue this.

But you do know that fasting on and of like that will make your body gain weight easier?

 

[anonymous]

SIS WAT THE HELL U PLAYIN AT!?

Y u wna lose weight4 !?

heres me wantin 2 put weight ON n ders u losin i, am sure u have a gorj figure stop ruinin yaself!!

 

[AnonymousPoster]

fisherman i only fast a day or so when i binge to start all over, i usually just restrict to 300 cal /800 cal is the maximum. anyways this past few days i been eating `normally` but i dunno i guess i just got to make dua i feel i will relapse how can i get help? do i go to my GP? i am embaressed can i go straight to councellors? w/salam

 

[glo]

fisherman i only fast a day or so when i binge to start all over, i usually just restrict to 300 cal /800 cal is the maximum. anyways this past few days i been eating `normally` but i dunno i guess i just got to make dua i feel i will relapse how can i get help? do i go to my GP? i am embaressed can i go straight to councellors? w/salam

Are you in the UK?
There may be eating disorder services, which take self-referrals (I know they do in our area) ... although a GP referral may speed things up for you.

Don't be embarrassed. Eating disorders are not uncommon, and you are not alone. Your GP is not going to think any less of you because of your problem. S/he is there to help you!!

 

[glo]

Anon. I found some useful information in this article:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/mental_health/disorders_eating.shtml

If you are in the UK, here is some information on help available in the UK (from the same article - bottom of the page):

What support is available?

Beat
Adult Helpline: 0845 634 1414
Email: [email protected]
Youthline: 0845 634 7650
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.b-eat.co.uk

What professional help is available?

For some people with eating disorders, the condition becomes life-threatening. Under these circumstances, some psychiatrists seek the right to treat the person compulsorily. This is highly controversial.

Therapies available on the NHS include:

* cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
* motivational enhancement therapy (MET)
* family therapy
* psychodynamic therapy.


A national centre of excellence for research into eating disorders is the Eating Disorders Unit at the Institute of Psychiatry, King's College London.

The unit conducts research into various aspects of eating disorders, such as thinking styles, male eating disorders, motherhood and eating disorders, and whether eating disorders run in the family. The unit would be interested in hearing from volunteers for any of these studies.