Extreme boredom (I feel my life now is boring)

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ardianto

ardianto

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I start my post with information about me for those who haven't know. I am almost 49, widower with two children (boys), 18 and 12 years old. My beloved wife passed away on 2013, but I still haven't remarried because I choose to focus in raising up my children.

My daily life is okay. I have enough income to fulfill my family needs, Alhamdulillah. But there is a feeling that sometime, and suddenly, comes in my heart, and it's happen again now, that make me decide to make this thread, .... extreme boredom. A feeling that makes me very uncomfortable.

I feel my life now is boring, I feel like I want to back to be young again, and live my colorful life again.

I was an active boy when I was kid and young. I was active in sport, in level of competition. I compete in swimming, BMX race, and I spent my teenage life as motocross racer. I also love adventure like 4x4 off road, cross country bicycling, hiking, etc. And outside of these activities I was a boy who had many friends, more than other people usually have. I have done and experienced many things in my colorful youth life.

Is it a symptom of loneliness?. Hmm, maybe. Because I never felt boredom like this when my beloved wife was still with me.

I feel very uncomfortable. I feel uneasy. And this feeling also makes me feel guilty, because makes me feel like as selfish person who think only about myself and neglect my duty toward my children.
 
Why not take up a sport with your two boys? I would highly recommend RC car racing, if they do that in your area. I did it with my father at their ages and it was a lot of fun.
 
Trust me, a time will come when you will value boredom above all else.
 
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته​

There's no reason why you shouldn't go back into sports, brother. Like sister Little_Lion suggested, your sons can join you. All of the things you did when you were young, if you are still fit now, you can do at your current age. There's no reason why you shouldn't.

In fact, you can teach your sons how to do the things you used to do as a youngster. They will appreciate the knowledge and experience.
 
Being a super villain would be a nice way.......... To kill off boredom....................
 
:wa:

If you're really feeling lonely perhaps you need a life friend.

Dont feel bad to marry again, ardianto, you wont be committing any wrong by doing so.

Sometimes in your sub-conscious you may be feeling guilty but there's no reason to. And has been suggested, you can still do the sports you love.
 
I like hoodie style. Ya know. Black outfit. Ninja style.......... Halaal -style.

And preferably a mask too.
 
Greetings and peace be with you ardianto;

Time seems to go so quickly, I admired how caring you were, and how you looked after your wife and children, you just seemed such a kind family.

Just a suggestion, but have you considered doing some voluntary work through your mosque, maybe helping out at an orphanage, a homeless shelter, a hospice or something similar. You spent time looking after your wife, maybe spending more time helping people would be helpful to you also. just a thought.

May you and your children be blessed, and be a blessing to others.

Eric
 
I think you should pick up a sport with your two boys like others have suggested....it will not only preoccupy your mind but also bring you closer to your boys...also, I don't think there is anything wrong with you remarrying.....it is your right, and perhaps your boredom comes from lonliness?
 
I agree with the other posters. The things you liked doing when you were younger are things that a lot of males like doing. Are you two sons as active as you were? If so, this is a perfect opportunity for all of you. You say you're financially stable, so that's one (major) problem solved. If money and time aren't a factor, than what's stopping you?

I've got 4 sisters, 7 nieces between them and no brothers or nephews. At least you have two sons to relate to. I have nothing :lol:
 
It comes in a Riwaayat:

ليس يتحسّر أهل الجنة إلا على ساعة مرّت بهم لم يذكروا الله تعالى فيها​

"The people of Jannah will have only one regret: the moment that passed by them in which they did not engage in the Dhikr of Allaah..."

This Dunyaa - for the Mu'min - is not just about play and amusement and futility; it is the abode of `Amal. It is the abode wherein we do deeds to benefit us in the Aakhirah, In Shaa Allaah. It is an abode which is going to come to an end very soon.

This Dunyaa, this life you have, is the only chance you will ever have to acquire Thawaab. The moment your eyes close and you are put in the Qabr, you no longer have a chance to do a single good deed, to earn a single reward. Ask the person in the Qabr if you could converse with him, and he would tell you that a single Sub-haanallaah is worth more than this Dunyaa and everything it contains. All the wealth in this Dunyaa cannot buy you Jannah. Cannot raise your rank by a single degree in Jannah. But a single Sub-haanallaah, accepted by Allaah `Azza wa Jall, will raise your rank in the Aakhirah...

Hence, how foolish is man. People say that they have too much time on their hands, what should they do, they have time to kill, etc. If only they understood the reality, they would know that they really don't have much time at all.

This Dunyaa is finite; it will come to an end tomorrow. Use your time you have left to acquire as much good as you can, before this Dunyaa and everything in it disappears.

والسلام​
 
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:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

I second our sister Umm Abed's wise advice. I think you should remarry.

There are many reasons for this, but the most important one is that you need a companion in your life to hold your hand and listen to you and be there for you as a nurturing and guidance figure in the same way you want to be there for your children.

Your children will one day soon (as time flies!) grow into themselves, fly the coop, and go on to live independent lives. So, it is eminently desirable that you think about yourself and your future. Please realize you have nothing about which you need feel guilty as, while your children your responsibility, God has also given you a supreme responsibility to look after yourself and your needs in the best of manners.

Of course, I'd recommend that you make a list of things that you want to do which not doing before the Angel of Death greets you as it will all of us; then look over the list you've created and start structuring your life around doing those things whether they be pursuing your hobbies, dreams, passions, because the best day to do them is today, right now in the present. You only get one life to live, and you shouldn't aimlessly pass it away with regrets; and of course, keep in mind also that everything you do in this way if you can make an intention for Allah is also going to count as worship.

So, go, live your life. You're in the best age to do it as you have wisdom of life experience to guide you and temper any completely imprudent impulses but also the intelligence and knowledge to be able to figure out what you really, really, really want to do with the rest of your life and what you want your future to look like. So, again, I say, go, live your life. :)

Wishing you an awesome journey of self-discovery and happiness,

Umm Abed said:
:wa:

If you're really feeling lonely perhaps you need a life friend.

Dont feel bad to marry again, ardianto, you wont be committing any wrong by doing so.

Sometimes in your sub-conscious you may be feeling guilty but there's no reason to. And has been suggested, you can still do the sports you love.
Click to expand...
 
ardianto said:
:sl:

I start my post with information about me for those who haven't know. I am almost 49, widower with two children (boys), 18 and 12 years old. My beloved wife passed away on 2013, but I still haven't remarried because I choose to focus in raising up my children.

My daily life is okay. I have enough income to fulfill my family needs, Alhamdulillah. But there is a feeling that sometime, and suddenly, comes in my heart, and it's happen again now, that make me decide to make this thread, .... extreme boredom. A feeling that makes me very uncomfortable.

I feel my life now is boring, I feel like I want to back to be young again, and live my colorful life again.

I was an active boy when I was kid and young. I was active in sport, in level of competition. I compete in swimming, BMX race, and I spent my teenage life as motocross racer. I also love adventure like 4x4 off road, cross country bicycling, hiking, etc. And outside of these activities I was a boy who had many friends, more than other people usually have. I have done and experienced many things in my colorful youth life.

Is it a symptom of loneliness?. Hmm, maybe. Because I never felt boredom like this when my beloved wife was still with me.

I feel very uncomfortable. I feel uneasy. And this feeling also makes me feel guilty, because makes me feel like as selfish person who think only about myself and neglect my duty toward my children.
Click to expand...

:sl: Bro

The extreme feelings of bore or love are from Shaitan. Once you fall ill seriously or meet a serious accident or loose your money ( naudhubillah , may Allah save us all ,Ameen) then YOU Will FEEL you have been enjoying all these days which you had thought as boring. The other side of the garden is always greener & so is Life. But I do not deny that childhood days were happiest for most though it was not for me.

My suggestion is if you can marry IS THE BEST so that your wife inshallah will be a support for you and you for her in your old age inshallah. This is the feeling of a lonely widower (Man or woman) in their last stages LEST they have married earlier and had a companion when their kids left but hope inshallah does not happen with you or any other brother who had sacrificed his life for his kids . But Marry a widow without kids imo.
 
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:wa:

You have a nice business knowledge bro :ma:, is that something you may want to pursue?
 

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