Failure in life

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jimbo123

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Do you ever feel like you are a failure in life?

In high school, academically I was very good. In college I was below average and when I got to university I was just average.

My academics affected me in such a way that I could not apply for the jobs I wanted because my grades were average. For instance I got a 2:2 and an employer would understandably rather hire someone with a 2:1 or a first.

The job that I have right now pays really well but I only got the job because I know someone in the company. The other issue is that as a worker, I'm just 'okay'. I'm not as good as my peers, I take longer to learn things and I make mistakes. I actually feel very pathetic.

The only good thing I can say about myself is that as a muslim I pray 5 times a day and am quite practising. I treat people well. I have good hygiene and am also in very good health, frequently exercising and learning martial arts.

I dunno I guess I could use some support or a shoulder to cry on haha. I've just been thinking about my whole life and what I've achieved and it's hurt my whole self confidence. If I don't like myself, how do I expect someone to marry me? Marriage is on my mind 24/7.
 
jimbo123 said:
Do you ever feel like you are a failure in life?

In high school, academically I was very good. In college I was below average and when I got to university I was just average.

My academics affected me in such a way that I could not apply for the jobs I wanted because my grades were average. For instance I got a 2:2 and an employer would understandably rather hire someone with a 2:1 or a first.

The job that I have right now pays really well but I only got the job because I know someone in the company. The other issue is that as a worker, I'm just 'okay'. I'm not as good as my peers, I take longer to learn things and I make mistakes. I actually feel very pathetic.

The only good thing I can say about myself is that as a muslim I pray 5 times a day and am quite practising. I treat people well. I have good hygiene and am also in very good health, frequently exercising and learning martial arts.

I dunno I guess I could use some support or a shoulder to cry on haha. I've just been thinking about my whole life and what I've achieved and it's hurt my whole self confidence. If I don't like myself, how do I expect someone to marry me? Marriage is on my mind 24/7.
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:sl:

A failure? No Ahki, a great success:

The only good thing I can say about myself is that as a muslim I pray 5 times a day and am quite practising. I treat people well. I have good hygiene and am also in very good health, frequently exercising and learning martial arts.
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that will take you furtherand bring you greater rewards than any other thing may ever accomplish. If that is being a failure it is my du'a that all of my grandsons will grow up to be failures.
 
jimbo123 said:
Do you ever feel like you are a failure in life?

In high school, academically I was very good. In college I was below average and when I got to university I was just average.

My academics affected me in such a way that I could not apply for the jobs I wanted because my grades were average. For instance I got a 2:2 and an employer would understandably rather hire someone with a 2:1 or a first.

The job that I have right now pays really well but I only got the job because I know someone in the company. The other issue is that as a worker, I'm just 'okay'. I'm not as good as my peers, I take longer to learn things and I make mistakes. I actually feel very pathetic.

The only good thing I can say about myself is that as a muslim I pray 5 times a day and am quite practising. I treat people well. I have good hygiene and am also in very good health, frequently exercising and learning martial arts.

I dunno I guess I could use some support or a shoulder to cry on haha. I've just been thinking about my whole life and what I've achieved and it's hurt my whole self confidence. If I don't like myself, how do I expect someone to marry me? Marriage is on my mind 24/7.
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I think you have certain high expectation on yourself -because you used to be academically overachiever- that even a moderately successful life and career hurts your ego.

Don't be.

Be always thankful that Allah gives you rizq from halal source, good health and most importantly, deen of Islam.

You really don't know what you have until you lost it all.


'
 
Jazakallahu Firdaus for you kind responses. You're right it does hurt my ego a lot because despite all my efforts I'm not great at my job and that makes me feel inadequate. I'd imagine a similar scenario would be to tell a woman she is useless as a mother.
 
The job that I have right now pays really well but I only got the job because I know someone in the company. The other issue is that as a worker, I'm just 'okay'. I'm not as good as my peers, I take longer to learn things and I make mistakes. I actually feel very pathetic.
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Have your peers been there much longer than you? If someone has been working 9-5 for several years/months it's natural that they would be more efficient than a newcomer. Don't beat yourself up about it.
 
Brother you're lacking confidence, you got to 'big' yourself up only then will you try harder and improve in your self-development. Think higher of yourself, not in pride, but in skills.

Look around no one is perfect, I used to think that jobs in certain places would be impossible for me to get - because of being inadequate, but when you see retards (astagfirullah) working there it makes it seem like anything is possible

You will need to change your attitude if you want to get married
 
aadil77 said:
Brother you're lacking confidence, you got to 'big' yourself up only then will you try harder and improve in your self-development. Think higher of yourself, not in pride, but in skills.

Look around no one is perfect, I used to think that jobs in certain places would be impossible for me to get - because of being inadequate, but when you see retards (astagfirullah) working there it makes it seem like anything is possible

You will need to change your attitude if you want to get married
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I don't normally have this low opinion of myself. Normally I'm quite a confident guy - it's just when I make mistakes and for a guy that's been working there for 2 years, I've made a lot of mistakes. It might be the work environment because I do get low self esteem when I'm around my team mates. The feeling I get is that in terms of skill they are better than me in every way. When I ask a really obvious question about work, they would laugh at me so now I am really afraid of asking things "Remind me how to do this again?".

I am looking at applying for other jobs and building up my skill set. But I'm in that, 'You need relevant experience to get experience' limbo.

Please don't say that I shouldn't get married. My mindset in the last few years has been that I would only get married once I am successful and on a really high salary. Recently, I've been thinking the opposite is probably better. I am in my early 20's, I wouldn't say I'm that successful at all. But if I marry someone righteous, she can support me and be a confidant in overcoming my obstacles. Do you think this is a wrong attitude to take.
 
jimbo123 said:
The only good thing I can say about myself is that as a muslim I pray 5 times a day and am quite practising. I treat people well.
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Alhamdolillah, you should be very happy that your practising islam, and you achieved a lot in life, having a job, health, all this is niyamah from allah.

start looking at people who have less and ul always be happy, be content in what you have.
 
jimbo123 said:
Do you ever feel like you are a failure in life?
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:sl:

No. I will find that out once I've died and whether I have gone to heaven or hell.

My academics affected me in such a way that I could not apply for the jobs I wanted because my grades were average. For instance I got a 2:2 and an employer would understandably rather hire someone with a 2:1 or a first.
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I would not consider that average.

The job that I have right now pays really well but I only got the job because I know someone in the company. The other issue is that as a worker, I'm just 'okay'. I'm not as good as my peers, I take longer to learn things and I make mistakes. I actually feel very pathetic.
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Your lucky you have a job. I used to work in a Law firm but had to leave...took months to get over it. :(

There are thousands of people that would want to be in your position. Wanna swap lol? XD

I dunno I guess I could use some support or a shoulder to cry on haha. I've just been thinking about my whole life and what I've achieved and it's hurt my whole self confidence. If I don't like myself, how do I expect someone to marry me? Marriage is on my mind 24/7.
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You sound way more successful than I am. I don't have a degree nor a job.

Go get married lol. You sound fine to me. Your putting too much pressure on yourself. There is nothing wrong with you.

I don't normally have this low opinion of myself. Normally I'm quite a confident guy - it's just when I make mistakes and for a guy that's been working there for 2 years, I've made a lot of mistakes.
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We all make mistakes, and we will continue to make them. Learn from it. I made stupid mistakes. For example, one of my driving lessons, I stalled in the middle of a busy traffic...one car horned at me, so I took my time to get the car started to piss him off. :statisfie

It might be the work environment because I do get low self esteem when I'm around my team mates. The feeling I get is that in terms of skill they are better than me in every way. When I ask a really obvious question about work, they would laugh at me so now I am really afraid of asking things "Remind me how to do this again?".
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What job are you doing?

Please don't say that I shouldn't get married. My mindset in the last few years has been that I would only get married once I am successful and on a really high salary. Recently, I've been thinking the opposite is probably better. I am in my early 20's, I wouldn't say I'm that successful at all. But if I marry someone righteous, she can support me and be a confidant in overcoming my obstacles. Do you think this is a wrong attitude to take.
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Money is not everything. As long as you meet your daily needs, then you'll be fine.
 
jimbo123 said:
Do you ever feel like you are a failure in life?

In high school, academically I was very good. In college I was below average and when I got to university I was just average.

My academics affected me in such a way that I could not apply for the jobs I wanted because my grades were average. For instance I got a 2:2 and an employer would understandably rather hire someone with a 2:1 or a first.

The job that I have right now pays really well but I only got the job because I know someone in the company. The other issue is that as a worker, I'm just 'okay'. I'm not as good as my peers, I take longer to learn things and I make mistakes. I actually feel very pathetic.

The only good thing I can say about myself is that as a muslim I pray 5 times a day and am quite practising. I treat people well. I have good hygiene and am also in very good health, frequently exercising and learning martial arts.

I dunno I guess I could use some support or a shoulder to cry on haha. I've just been thinking about my whole life and what I've achieved and it's hurt my whole self confidence. If I don't like myself, how do I expect someone to marry me? Marriage is on my mind 24/7.
Click to expand...

Asalaamu Alaikum, jazakallahu khayran for sharing how you feel. My brother it does depend on what we measure success and failure against? is success in this world real success or is success in the hereafter real success? Surely success in this world is short lived and can be taken away at any moment but success in the hereafter will last forever and will NEVER be taken away.

I recall a decade ago one of my uncles became a millionnaire through from the success he gained from his business. He had a huge house, a successful business and everything to be a success in the worldy life. But then things went wrong and he lost most of his wealth due to unforeseen circumstances. It was so sudden and it proved that Allah can give one wealth one minute and the next he has nothing. It may even work the other way around where a person may have nothing and next minute Allah gives him wealth.

My brother money is one of the biggest corrupters of this ummah without a doubt. It is because of money that many of the leaders and politicians in the Muslim countries have been bought out. Money can change a person and i am sure there are people who can attst to this fact. Therefore it is better to be comfortable in life than to have more because the more wealth one has the more one will be accountable for the wealth one was given and more chance one would be lead astray. In the next world those of us that were just comfortable or even poor will be happy to know that we will not be as accountable as those who were given more.

So wealth is also a test and so many fail this test. Status is also a test because with status also comes a lot of responsibilities which one will also be accountable for and i am sure that before many of the Muslims who are in leadership positions now and have become corrupted were just normal decent people before. But when one gets into such a position of power and status then one gets sucked into evil, corruption, deception etc.

These people may be rich and have high status but if they are not fulfilling their responsibilities to their families, or looking after their parents, spending time with their children, not giving time or fulfilling their rights upon their wives then surely they are failures and not successes.

If they are investing everything into this world and not much or anything at all for the hereafter then surely they will only be a short lived success whereas those who put everything into the hereafter will be the successful ones with high ranks for eternity. Which one would you rather choose?

Also do not worry about making mistakes and what othrs may think of you. We all make mistakes in order to learn to be able to do things better. If we don't make mistakes then we will never learn. We learn from our failures not our successes!

So my brother it is clear that we should not measure our success with how wealthy or what status we have in this life because it comes with it great responsibility and accountability on the day of judgement as well as being a big test on those who are given such wealth and status. Wealth and status is also very short lived as our lives are very short and if we invest everything into this world then surely we will have little or nothing at all in the hereafter. Therefore by striving to be a success in this world we would be have less or even be failures in the hereafter.

Therefore we should consider first where we will spend more time? In this world we can die at any second and on average we would live until 70 if Allah wills or maybe a bit more. So is it worth putting much into this life? Or is it worth putting much more into the hereafter where we will spend eternity and every good act we do not we will benefit from forever in Jannah.

So therefore my brother put as much effort as you can into your job and living comfortabely in this life prving for your family for the pleasure of Allah so that your job can become worship and you may be rewarded for it. But at the same time focus your mind on investing as much as you can into the next world as in worship and please Allah as much as you can everyday of your life. So do everything in your day to please Allah and refrain from anything that displeases him. If you spend the rest of your life until death doing this then in the next life you will taste the sweetness of your success for eternity and those who you saw in this world who were successful and had high status not investing much or anything at all to the hereafter will be the real losers and failures for eternity. So desire to be successful forever and not just a short amount of time in this world.

Do not let shaythan put you down and make you feel like a failure as you now know what true success is. Do not let him make you lose hope of finding the right partner. As long as you go about everything in the halal and proper way then you will gain blessings, peace and happiness in everything you do. So make as long as you make effort to find a pious and good potential partnr and then ask of Allah sincerely putting your trust in him and relying upon him being patient then whatever is best for you will happen inshallah.

So trust in Allah and not the evil and deception and lies of shaythan who just wants to make you lose hope so that you become disillusioned and eventually foresake prayer and worship to Allah. Shaythan would want nothing less. But you must continue to strive and try and please Allah and get closer to him. You must increase in worship and in your investment into the hereafter.

The only way we will ever fail is if we fail in the hereafter and are given our book of deeds in our left hand. True eternal success is measured if we recieve our book of deeds in our right hands.

These threads and articles will help you to maximise the amount of investment you make into the hereafter inshallah:




10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith)



http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...man-faith.html (10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith))



30 ways the youth should spend everyday of their lives!



http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...eir-lives.html (30 ways the youth should spend everyday of their lives!)



Easy Dhikr which is light on the tongue but heavy on the scales!



http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...vy-scales.html (Easy Dhikr which is light on the tongue but heavy on the scales!)



My Daily Ibadah (worship) check!



http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...hip-check.html (My Daily Ibadah (worship) check!)



10 steps to getting closer to Allah



http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-...ser-allah.html (10 steps to getting closer to Allah)



Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!



http://www.islamicboard.com/worship-...-everyday.html (Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!)



VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!



http://www.islamicboard.com/worship-...-everyday.html (VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!)



Wasting Time is worse than Death!



http://www.islamicboard.com/general/134303410-wasting-time-worse-than-death.html





The Effects of Good deeds will remain forever!!!



http://www.islamicboard.com/general/134303409-effects-good-deeds-will-remain-forever.html



Want to see the REAL appearance of Almighty Allah everyday?



http://www.islamicboard.com/general/134303154-want-see-real-appearance-almighty-allah-everyday.html





Here are some very beneficial lectures to increase your imaan and fear of Allah:





AMAZING short speech -"The Goodly Life"



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fugf1DcNyc





Remembrance: ask Allah for his forgiveness



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-EK9r3rMzQ



Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA



HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O6L_fBk7VM



Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU



Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U



Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc



Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE



Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo



How can we not appreciate what we have after watching this?



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkEBUC0APMg




If you need any help, advice or anything at all then please do not hesitate to ask. Please also mention me in your duas.



And Allah knows best in all matters
 
jimbo123 said:
Please don't say that I shouldn't get married. My mindset in the last few years has been that I would only get married once I am successful and on a really high salary. Recently, I've been thinking the opposite is probably better. I am in my early 20's, I wouldn't say I'm that successful at all. But if I marry someone righteous, she can support me and be a confidant in overcoming my obstacles. Do you think this is a wrong attitude to take.
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no Akhi I'm not saying that, just saying that you should have higher self esteem so that your wife to be is confident in your ability

yes when you get married Allah increases your sustenance
 
Assalamu Alaikum

Life is about learning as you go, and sometimes we slack off or certain circumstances inhibit our abilities to perform at our best or what other consider to be the best, and that's OK! Everyone goes through that.
Feeling like you're a failure in life isn't really going to get you anywhere but make you sad, and when you're sad you do even worse, and when you do worse you start losing important things like motivation. You were granted a job that you may not be the best at, but how else will you learn to be better unless you're in the game :p some people don't even get that, consider yourself blessed!

Whenever there is something that I dislike about my life, I change it. As long as you're alive you can do anything that will benefit you because it's YOUR life, fight for it, no one else is going to do it for you..and you can't be shy to do it, cuz as my dad always says "Shy people miss opportunities" and you're feeling shy/embarassed/discouraged that you're not doing as well as everyone right now...but if you give up and stop soaking in the advice, you won't advance.

As for the marriage thing, you're like 50 years old, when are you going to settle down?! I'm sure theres at least ONE girl out there :P haha jkjk...nah don't be so concerned about that if it's not your priority..if it is, then get married inshallah and stop fretting on the "what if's" because every girl is different and anything can happen, know why?? because Allah loves hearing our du'as and blessing us with things that we don't expect (:

fi aman allah
w'salaam
 

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